Flyboy.

X Wing Pilot – A pilot, sometimes called a flyboy, directly controlled the operation of a vehicle while located within the same craft. A pilot was often assisted by a copilot, navigator, astromech droid, weapons officer, or other crew members. The term “pilot” was applied across vehicles used on land or in water, air, and/or space. The military designation for a pilot was PL-1. Whether this applied to all pilots or only starfighter pilots is unknown. On smaller ships, the word pilot and captain were interchangeable, but on larger vessels, the pilots were rarely the commanders of the vessels. 

Rebel Legion web site

When I bought my X-Wing Pilot's Helmet at Disneyland, Karli suggested that it would be a great start to a costume, a sentiment that I cautiously agreed with after giving it a bit of thought. However, she immediately raised the ante by commenting that Hallowe'en was only a couple of weeks away, which added a degree of deadline pressure that I hadn't originally had in mind.

But, maybe it's more practical than I think. What's actually involved in creating a Star Wars Rebel pilot costume? How hard can it be?

The basics are easy to find through Google™ as per the reference shot above: an orange flight suit, black boots and gauntlets, the white flak vest, that Darth-Vader style chest box, and those weird belts/straps on the legs* - and the helmet, of course, which I don't have to worry about.

It would cost a bit of money, but most of it would be simple enough: orange coveralls are common, boots are boots, I'd probably make the flak vest out of foam and glue on white nylon material (I can't sew), and strapping material is easy to get at Home Depot. The little chest box would involve some construction, but nothing insurmountable, or I could buy either an Etsy duplicate or a 3D printing template if I decided to invest money rather than time.

But, as always, the devil is in the details, and if you want to pass muster with the Rebellion, there are actually a LOT of details involved in producing a flight-ready uniform that will get you admission to an X-Wing cockpit.

In this case, it's not actually the Rebellion, it's the Rebel Legion, an international organization of Star Wars Rebel, Resistance and Jedi cosplayers (as opposed - literally - to the 501st Legion, which is made up of Imperial, First Order, Sith and bounty hunter cosplayers).  In order to join the Rebel Legion, you need a professional quality film-accurate costume - and they do mean accurate.

The Rebel Legion is very specific regarding the criteria for an acceptable flight suit costume.  VERY specific.  For example, here are the specifications for the white flak vest:

The entire list of requirements can be read here.  Apparently I was wrong, boots are not just boots.

There's some variation from movie to movie: Luke's pilot's uniform from the encounter on Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back is a two-piece combo, and the belts and other accessories are very different from his uniform from A New Hope. In Rogue One, General Antoc Merrick's flight suit is dark blue with ribbed white sleeve appliques, and has a modified flak vest. Regardless, the standards are equally strict.

However, to quote Terry Pratchett, what an insult to the rich and chaotic variety of human experience!**  Surely there must have been some individuality in the Rebel pilot corps - coveralls that were permanently stained by coolant leaks and singed by cockpit fires, someone refusing to give up the battered but functional life support unit that saved their life during the Battle of Yavin, Biggs always forgetting to wear his leg emergency flares, and all the other little real-world quirks that would vary from the strict specifications set out by the Legion.

The final resolution to all of this is that I'm unlikely to pull together an X-Wing pilot's costume for Hallowe'en, regardless of canon accuracy, although the resources to enable such a costume are certainly in existence.  And, ultimately, I'm somewhat inclined to agree with a comment that I read in one of the user's groups that I visited while doing the research for this posting:

"If you show up with the helmet and orange coveralls, you're 70% there."

- Sid

P.S. If anyone reading this is aware of a good source for affordable near-canon orange flight suits, please leave a comment with a link, it would be greatly appreciated.

* These are apparently ejection straps.

** Feat of Clay

Disney 2022: "I am one with the Force"

"Does that thing get smaller?"

TSA officer, LAX

It's Friday morning. We're packing up for our post-Disney flight back to Canada, and I'm facing the consequences of my actions: I have to get a light saber and an X-Wing flight helmet past airport security, onto an airplane, and through Canadian customs.

Fortunately, the flight helmet fits in my carry on bag, although it's a tight fit.  (I considered wearing it if it didn't fit in my bag - I can only wonder how that would have been received by the good people of the TSA.)  I'm more concerned about the light saber, which I have to carry loose. Logically, I should be fine.  People travel with canes all the time, it's about the same scale, it really shouldn't matter that it lights up and makes whooshing noises*, but somehow, somehow, I'm just not as confident as I'd like to be. 

The TSA agent at the airport doesn't love the fact that I want to run this thing through her scanner, but I wedge it into my bag at an angle that satisfies her concerns, and away it goes.  

It comes out the other side, and nothing happens.  I'm more than surprised - I expected that someone would at least want to look at the helmet just to see what the hell that thing was that they were just looking at.

Ironically, Karli’s bag is hand checked and run through the scanner twice - is Disney popcorn is more suspicious than a flight helmet and a light saber? It turns out that she's left her iPad in her shoulder bag, which you don’t have to pull out at YVR security.  No blood no foul, they scan her bag again and we're both through.

The next hurdle is boarding - as with so many flights, Westjet is cracking down on oversized carry-on luggage, and I’m extremely aware that my flight helmet makes my bag too wide to fit in the bag measuring device - and I can’t check it, I’m completely certain that the massed weight of the other luggage would crack the helmet like an egg. Again, I suppose I could wear it if I had to, but there would probably be some questions.  That sort of thing is charming if you’re ten, less so at 61.

To my astonished relief, the gate crew never even glances at my bag in their rush to board the flight, which is only about ten minutes behind schedule (it may help that we’re in the exit row, hard to say.) Regardless, there are times when you take the money and run, no need to question good luck.

The flight attendant waiting at our seats for the emergency exit orientation cheerfully comments, “Ah, a light saber!” To which I reply, “I hope the Force is with me and it doesn’t get broken up here!” as I put the hilt on top on Karli’s bag, with the blade over my bag. That still leaves about eight inches exposed, but the flight attendant promises to keep an eye on it, lord knows how. Fingers crossed, I settle into my seat and buckle up. At this point, I’ve done well - security and boarding are out of the way, all we need is a bit of luck and no serious turbulence on the flight.

195 uneventful minutes later, we touch down on the tarmac at YVR. The landing is a bit rough, which worrries me. The seat belt light goes off, I stand up, carefully open the bin, and all appears good. I can’t test functionality just yet, but at least nothing has shifted and broken the plastic blade. I’m actually a bit relieved that this isn’t a full length creation from Savi's Workshop at Galaxy's Edge, it must be nerve-racking to consign a $249 USD light saber to the whims of the luggage bin gods.

Canadian Customs shows no interest in our luggage - NEXUS was probably one of our best purchasing decisions in recent years. Karli's mother and stepfather pick us up and drop us off, we unlock the front door, Jaq the Cat suggests that it is dinnertime NOW, and we're home.  I release the light saber from the improvised elastic bindings on my shoulder bag, switch it on, and success, everything is in working order, and the helmet is also undamaged by its experience - apparently the Force is with me after all.

- Sid

* I used to know someone who used the word "VON" to emulate the sound of the light saber swinging through the air.  Try this at home if you'd like.

Disney 2022: TANSTAAFL.

There are times during our Disneyland visit when I'm depressed by the high cost of doing business with Disney. The assault on your wallet is relentless: very little is free at Disneyland - and all the souvenir pricing is at the low end of wincing.

I mention this to Karli and she agrees wholeheartedly.

"They could give away something simple and cheap, it would be easy.  One of the characters could just walk up to you and say, 'Here, have a balloon.'  Or popcorn, popcorn is really cheap to make, they could easily give away free popcorn."

I appreciate that Disney is a business and needs to make money, but part of me feels that Disney must have all the money in the world at this point - isn't some room in there for free popcorn?

- Sid

Disney 2022: "I can('t) do this all day."

Karli and I both enjoyed and appreciated our Disney experience, but there were times when it was more of an exercise in patience than usual. 

Disneyland always requires patience - guests queue up for security, line up to get into the parks, wait in crowds for the ropes to drop, stand in line for refreshments, and wait times for rides can last hours - but that's expected, it's very much the price of doing business when you visit the Magic Kingdom. 

However, we were surprised by the number of times we were forced to wait even longer due to breakdowns and delays on rides at every level of sophistication.  

Over the course of our three day visit, we completed a total of 29 ride experiences, which may not sound like a lot, but it's actually a pretty good performance, given the number of people vying for seats.  Out of that number, we experienced ride problems to a greater or lesser extent ten times - over a third of our total, not a very good average. 

We accepted the possibility that the shorter delays might have been caused by pausing the rides in order to accommodate the transfer of mobility challenged riders into their seats or something similar, but in most cases it was obviously hardware failure - or perhaps software, in the case of the more sophisticated experiences. 

Toad's Wild Ride broke down literally as we were taking our seats in the ride carriage. During the first of our three visits to Star Tours*, they announced that they were experiencing delays, and on the second, we sat in our StarSpeeder 3000 for close to fifteen minutes, without a word of explanation, until the ride finally began.

The new Web Slingers ride at Avenger's Campus stuttered without stopping, cutting short our time at the first scene, Midway Mania stopped working just as we were in the final leg of the queue, and not only did Indiana Jones have delays, but there seemed to be dead areas on the ride, places where there should have been some kind of effect but where we just bounced around in the dark.  For our final trip through the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, the iconic stone globe effect completely failed to work, which rather ruined the climactic conclusion of the ride.   The Haunted Mansion both stopped in its tracks and slowed to a crawl, and The Little Mermaid ride left me uncomfortably face to face with a glassy-eyed Ariel animatronic figure for a little too long.

On our last day, Smugglers Run announced that they were experiencing delays and that they would resume service as soon as possible. Ironically, at that moment Garr, one of Ohnaka Transport's less perceptive employees, decided to publicly inform Hondo over the PA system that there was a maintenance problem with one of his ships, the kind of a problem that results from crashing into buildings - either boldly on brand or an astonishing coincidence.

Sadly, there's a very simple bottom line to all of this, and it's just that, the bottom line. Disneyland is a big machine for making money, and as such the people running the machine are probably unwilling to turn it off for maintenance if they can help it at all.

- Sid

* Star Tours has a mix-and-match system that adds up to 54 versions of the tour, which makes it a popular choice for repeat trips.

Disney 2022: Avengers - some assembly required.

I'm sorry to say that I was a bit underwhelmed by the new Avengers Campus in the California Adventure park at Disneyland Anaheim. I was hoping that the Campus* would have the same kind of immersive feeling that Galaxy's Edge offers, an opportunity to step into another world. To my disappointment, it's an interesting addition to the park, but it doesn't achieve the same kind of comprehensive atmosphere that Black Spire Outpost offers to its visitors. 

There's actually Marvel canon backstory for the new area: the campus is located in an alternate universe to the main MCU timeline, a universe in which the Blip never took place. As such, the Campus is home to the full roster of Avengers, including those who are no longer part of the team in the MCU: Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk**, and the Black Widow, along with associated characters such as Captain Marvel, Ant Man, the Wasp, Doctor Strange, and the Black Panther. Loki can also be seen on the site, whether as friend or foe is difficult to say. 

The location was originally home to a temple of the Vishanti, the mystical god-like trio who act as patrons to the Sorcerer Supreme. The temple has fallen into ruins, but retains its connection with the magical realm. 

Centuries later, Tony Stark's father Howard decides to build his experimental flying car facility on the site, and the US Government's Strategic Scientific Reserve constructs a lab on site to study the abandoned temple and the strange temporal effects that it causes.

Tony Stark eventually repurposes the site - he builds Avengers Headquarters, and converts the vintage car factory space into the home of the Worldwide Engineering Brigade , or WEB*, where Peter Parker and other young scientific minds from around the globe develop new technologies. Scott Lang and Hope Van Dyne decide to set up a cafeteria to support all of this (no, seriously, that's the storyline, and weirdly, I can sort of imagine Paul Rudd doing this in a movie) and open the Pym Test Kitchen and Tasting Lab, where they use Pym particles to resize the menu offerings as needed.

All that being established, what does the Avengers Campus have to offer? 

As with Galaxy's Edge and Cars Land, the Campus relies on a couple of major rides. The WEB facility is home to the Web Slingers Spider-Man Adventure, a VR ride in which riders help Spider-Man defeat runaway replicating Spider-Bots that are on the verge of disassembling and destroying the WEB facility and then the world. 

 

The ride relies on sophisticated motion tracking systems to allow the riders to shoot virtual webs that destroy the Spider-Bots and manipulate the virtual environment. Riders can also purchase add-on accessories that give them different abilities in the game, such as Iron Man's repulsor rays. 

It's an impressive experience with an entertaining introduction by Tom Holland as Peter Parker, but the ride action itself is perhaps a little too busy - Karli received the highest score in our WEB transport by destroying a giant Spider-Bot, but had no idea that she'd done such a thing, or how she'd done it. That's not as strange as it sounds - the ride's frenetic pace makes it challenging to determine exactly what's happening and which webs are yours as you shoot wildly at the hordes of Spider-Bots in front of you. I felt that I'd need to do the ride a few times to really understand how it worked, which would have involved a lot of time standing in line, it's a popular attraction.

The second option is the Guardians of the Galaxy-themed Mission: BREAKOUT! at the looming 60 meter tower fortress of Tivan the Collector, located at the edge of the Campus. It's a free fall vertical shaft ride which was rebranded from the Tower of Terror to the Guardians version in 2017 as the first stage of integrating the Avengers into the park. Karli and I had previously experienced Breakout on our last trip to the park - it's an adrenaline-driven experience that's undeniably exciting, but not really to our taste, so we don't make a repeat visit to the Collector's dungeons.

A third ride was planned for the Campus, an Avengers Quinjet flight simulator adventure, but Disney announced that development of the ride was put on hold due to cash flow issues caused by the pandemic shutdown. As such, the Avengers Headquarter building that would have housed the ride is being used as a temporary stage for superhero appearances.  

The superheroes also wander the Campus grounds and interact with the visitors for photo opportunities. Spider-Man does regular scheduled shows on the WEB building that involve gymnastics and web-swinging***, and Doctor Strange performs feats of magic on the grounds of the ruined temple.

It's an extensive entertainment offering, so why was I disappointed?

One of the things that makes Galaxy's Edge work so well is its consistent, connected design. Every part of Black Spire Outpost is carefully planned out, and it all works together: guests wander along side streets and past alcoves, through arcades and down staircases, with the central plaza and the Millennium Falcon providing an impressively unifying centerpiece for the entire artfully composed creation, a creation that makes you feel like you're actually part of the story. 

Avengers Campus lacks the same degree of cohesion - all the parts are there, but it's more of a disconnected collection of structures and rides than a coordinated set piece. Admittedly, Black Spire has the advantage of being enclosed by walls and mountainous cliffs, but Avengers Campus could easily have wrapped itself in protective barriers and security gates to achieve the same effect, and the Quinjet located on top of Avengers Headquarters would be a great photo opportunity if it were at ground level instead.

Overall, the new Campus area is detailed, has good art direction, and offers a wide range of things to see and do - I just wish it had made me feel more like an Avenger.

- Sid

* It's actually CAMPUS: Centralized Assembly Mobilized to Prepare, Unite, and Safeguard, which, as with the Worldwide Engineering Brigade (WEB), could not be a more obvious example of retconning an acronym into a name.

** In his public appearances, the Hulk is wearing his protective time travel suit, which would not exist on this timeline if there was no Blip - just saying.

*** The web swinging portion involves a mannequin, which is probably a good thing, there are some embarrassing YouTube™ videos that show the stand-in Spider-Man bouncing off the walls and tumbling off the building.

Disney 2022: The Ears.

If there is one thing that most represents the global might of the Disney Empire, it is...The Ears.

The original Mickey Mouse ears were created as an accessory for Mickey Mouse Club cast members by Disney artist/writer and adult Mouseketeer Roy Williams in 1955, and quickly became a top-selling souvenir at Disney World in Florida following its 1971 opening.  

At the consumer level, the Mickey ears have been eclipsed by the Minnie headband. Originally just featuring Minnie’s iconic bow, the headband has since become an asexual branding platform, as likely to be worn by Disney Dad as Disney Mom.

The headband is a universal currency of franchise display, supporting every possible iconography: glamourized, astrocized, glitterized, robotized, Avengercized, Rebellionized, there is nothing that can't be attached to a headband in symbolic form.

Surprisingly, there's one place in Disneyland where you can't buy either the ears or the headband:  Galaxy's Edge - for the simple reason that Disney has decided to make Black Spire Outpost as close to an alien spaceport as possible, including restricting the kinds of merchandise that are up for sale.

The good news is, that means that we can hopefully avoid this scenario ever happening in Black Spire Outpost: 

It's one thing to have Kylo Ren stalking the streets, but I draw the line at Darth Goofy.

- Sid

Disney 2022: ...and the Bad Guys.

Rise of the Resistance - Kylo Ren will never force us to submit to the First Order!

- Sid

Disney 2022: The Good Guys...

Rise of the Resistance - captured by the First Order en route to Pacara!

- Sid

Disney 2022: Falling in Love.

And then we fell in love, okay?

Donald J. Trump

It's our first day in Disneyland, and I fall in love - well, a little bit in love, at least.

Disney has strategically placed a small sales kiosk just at the exit from Rise of the Resistance. It offers a limited selection of miscellaneous Star Wars merchandise: t-shirts, fans, toys, costumes, and flight helmets. 

When we leave the ride after our early morning Lightning Lane booking, we stop for a moment to take a look at what's available. Most of the flight helmets are child-sized versions of gear from the third trilogy, but for some reason Disney decided to offer an adult option as well - it's the Luke Skywalker X-Wing pilot's helmet from A New Hope.

I take one off the shelf.  It feels quite solid and well-made, and it's definitely sized for adults, not children - it's very much a fan purchase (or a cosplay accessory) rather than a toy.

I try on the helmet. It’s uncomfortable, it sits crookedly on my head, the padding isn’t well placed, the chin strap ends up someplace behind my head, and the visor pinches on one side of my nose.  It doesn’t matter - I fall in love with it.  For whatever reason, it fills a gap in my fanboy heart that I didn't even know existed, and I'm very tempted to buy it.

However, I don't want to make any rash decisions - entertaining though it would be to wear a Star Wars themed helmet around Black Spire Outpost, it would probably lose its appeal after an hour or so, and it's inconveniently large as a casual accessory, rather like carrying a motorcycle helmet around all day.  I also feel a need to compare the helmet's $79.99 USD price point to the cost of buying online, my impression is that items sold at Disneyland may be marked up somewhat in order to reflect the prestige of having purchased them in the park.

Back at the hotel that night, I do some research online, and it turns out that it's not as unreasonable a purchase as it could be.

The gold standard for Star Wars merchandise is Hasbro Toy's The Black Series, a line of Star Wars collectables with more detail and quality (and higher prices) than the standard play-grade toys. I'm confident that the helmet that I'm in love with isn't Black Series - that version lists on Amazon.com for $300 USD and $60 for shipping, or almost $500 Canadian at the current exchange rate.

However, I do find the Disneyland version* for sale on Amazon as well, cheerfully marked up to $144.97 USD - not to mention shipping to Canada for $46.  On that basis, eighty bucks doesn't seem at all out of the question.

The moment of decision comes the next day at the Star Wars Trading Post in Downtown Disney, the commercial shopping and dining adjunct to the park.  They stock a full storefront selection of Star Wars souvenirs and collectibles, and oddly, it’s the only spot I’ve seen the helmets other than the Rise of the Resistance kiosk.

I decide to make the leap and buy the helmet - what the hell, life is short, I won’t miss paying November’s rent if I do this, and everyone deserves a moment of whimsy now and then.

I’m fortunate enough to catch someone restocking the helmets: she isn’t allowed to leave one in the plastic bag it ships in, lord knows why, but at least I’m able to get a helmet that no one else has worn, which I view as a bit of a sign from God that I have permission to do this.

I also decide to get a toy grade light saber for $39.99 - my sense of whimsy doesn’t extend to the $249 build-it-yourself version from Savi’s Workshop at Galaxy's Edge, although I’m sure they’re very nice.  Maybe if we win the lottery, as people like to say when they have no intention of ever buying something.

We make a quick trip back to our hotel, drop off the helmet and light saber, and we're back to making Lightning Lane bookings in less than 30 minutes.

Finished for the day and back at the hotel again, I take some time to scrutinize my purchases.  The light saber has a three position switch: OFF, TRY ME and ON.  The TRY ME position only allows for ten seconds of activation, which I wish I noticed at the store, I couldn't figure out why some of them only worked for a short period of time and we tried several of them to find one that stayed on.

I take a closer look at the X-wing helmet, and to be honest, I suspect that the greater part of my purchase is exactly the same as the Black Series version.  There are some obvious minor differences between the Disneyland and the Black Series models: the Disneyland helmet has been given an repetitive and uninspired distressed finish compared to the more realistic feel of the Black Series helmet; the Black Series has LEDs inside the visor to simulate laser fire, which my purchase doesn't have; and it plays audio clips from either the Battle of Yavin or the Battle of Hoth, whereas mine only plays audio from Yavin. 

However, I suspect that the majority of the molding and casting is identical, as supported by the fact that my helmet actually has a three-position switch for the sound effects, it just plays the same clips regardless of which way you push the switch.  As such, I'm pleased with my new headgear, and have no regrets regarding the purchase.

The real challenge?  In two days, I have to see if I can successfully take a mid-sized light saber and a large Star Wars pilot's helmet through United States airport security and onto an airplane - how hard could that be?

 - Sid

* The listing I found literally said that it's the Disneyland version, they're not trying to convince anyone that it's the more expensive collectible.  I suppose if you lived in Anaheim and had an annual pass to the park, you could create a side hustle by buying park merch and marking it up for resale online.

Disney 2022: No Experience Necessary.

At the risk of oversimplifying the world, there are two types of kids: outgoing and enthusiastic versus timid and introverted. For our first Millennium Falcon flight at Disneyland's Galaxy's Edge, Karli and I were partnered up with one of each, to the detriment of both the Falcon and our reward money for the mission - which, to be fair, wasn't really their fault. 

Smugglers Run is unique compared to most rides in that the six seats provide different experiences.  The two front row seats are pilots, the two behind them are gunners, and the back row is for engineers.*  Each role requires specific actions on the part of the riders:  the engineers need to keep the ship working, gunners blast their way past barriers and shoot at other ships, and pilots do their best to avoid collisions and position the ship correctly for the mission to succeed.  Being a pilot provides the best view, and is arguably the most prestigious assignment.

With that on the table, unless you have the foresight of visiting Disneyland with five friends, you're going to have to do some quick negotiating with whoever you end up with about who does what.**  In our case, we were matched with a group of four:  two women and (presumably) their six or seven year old children:  Emma (Type 1, outgoing and enthusiastic) and Dylan (Type 2, timid and introverted).

Based on position in line, Karli and I would have both been pilots, but we'd both had the opportunity of conning the Falcon on our previous visit, and it seemed unfair to stop the kids from having a chance.  However, when we offered to let the two children pilot, Dylan vigourously shook his head and shrank back against his mother in terrified rejection of the prospect.  Emma was more eager, and Karli graciously gave up her pilot's seat to her, joining Dylan in the gunner's row and leaving the engineering role to the two women.

As we stood in line, Emma may have started to have some misgivings about her older masked co-pilot - Disney is still recommending masks for inside rides - and gave me a bit of a concerned look.  In response, I gave her a thumbs up, which seemed to reassure her.  She returned the gesture and confidently told her mother, "I got this!"

She was terrible. 

Yes, I know, what did I expect from an seven-year old?  Regardless of Emma's life experience to date that might have prepared her for a lightning raid on a First Order supply train - she may be an absolute master of Mario Kart, for example - it does point out one of the shortcomings of what is perhaps Disney's most interactive experience.

Emma may not have actually understood that her actions at the controls of the Falcon would have any effect on the events taking place in front of her, and that's not an odd assumption.  There are probably only a couple of rides at Disneyland that give the rider any kind of control over what's going on. You don't have to steer the Incredicoaster, or neck rein the horses on King Arthur's Carrousel.  On Toad's Wild Ride, Wild Riders can spin the little steering wheel on their car as much as they want, and it does not make one bit of difference - why would Emma expect that some lunatic would actually give her control over a 25 ton lightspeed capable Corellian freighter?   

As a result of Emma's indifference to the controls, we spent a lot of time running into walls and hitting things, in spite of Hondo Ohnaka's increasingly panicked and vehement instructions to the left hand pilot.  The resulting damage to the ship put us well in the hole when Hondo calculated our profits from the mission after we'd landed (and presumably made Chewbacca deeply regret his decision to lend us the Falcon).

After we'd exited the ship, Karli told me that Dylan was a terrible gunner, which could have been either due to performance anxiety or, again, simple lack of understanding as to what was expected of him - in this case, perhaps a bit of both.

However, the story does have a happy ending.  Karli and I did a follow-up mission two days later, with both of us piloting, and we flew beautifully together.  It is a wonderful thing for a science fiction fan to find out that he and his wife are meant to fly starships together.

- Sid

* Based on the first trilogy, there should probably be a row of seats for people who want to just sit there and kvetch.***

** Actually, even if you are there with five friends, there's probably going to be some debate.

*** Kvetch  (/kəˈveCH,kfeCH):  intransitive verb -  to complain habitually: gripe. From Yiddish kvetshn.

Disney 2022: Once Upon A Time.

It's our first day of our 2022 return to Disneyland, and we're off to a good start. A change in hotels from our previous trips has put us a quick 13 minute walk from the park entrance, and we join the usual entry lineup at 7:00 AM, well in advance of the 8:00 AM opening. Following the standard entry procedures (sad that it's necessary for the Happiest Place on Earth to have airport-grade security) we line up on Main Street USA and wait for the park itself to open.

Our three-day Parkhopper pass restricts us to the Disneyland Park until 1:00 PM, but that's not too much of a trial, there are lots of things to do: old favourites like Toad's Wild Ride, Snow White and Peter Pan's Flight, Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, and of course Black Spire Outpost's immersive Star Wars experience, with the Rise of the Resistance and Smugglers Run.

There are some minor disappointments: Toon Town* is closed for "reimagining", as the Disney web site euphemistically describes it, and there are reports that the Indiana Jones ride is suffering from serious reliability issues, with refurbishment down time scheduled for November. However, there have also been some major changes since our last pre-COVID visit, and I'm eager to take a look at the new Avengers Campus, which replaced A Bug's Land in the California Adventure area of the park. 

We use the dwell time on Main Street to our advantage: using the Disneyland app, we pay the $25 USD Genie+ fee, which gives us full access to the Lightning Lane ride reservation system, and includes downloads of any photos taken of us by the Disney photographers scattered around the park.  The app is a necessity for navigating the park: it displays your schedule for the day, lets you purchase Genie+ and Lightning Lane passes along with food and merch, shows you an interactive map of all the park attractions along with wait times, and alerts you to upcoming Lightning Lane reservations and food order readiness - as well as storing your tickets for access to the parks.

Karli has a nostalgic affection for the Haunted Mansion, which has a Nightmare Before Christmas overlay for the course of the extended holiday season, and we're able to get an 8:05 time slot for entry, an excellent start to the day. We also reluctantly pay an additional $25 each for Lightning Lane access to the superb Rise of the Resistance experience in the Star Wars Galaxy's Edge section of the park at 9:25 - normally you can't double up for Lightning Lane reservations, but due to the additional fee, Rise of the Resistance is an exception to the rule.

Regardless of the cost, Genie+ proves its worth instantly: we're in and out of the Haunted Mansion almost immediately after the rope drops, and when our time slot opens up we literally walk into the start of Rise of the Resistance without ever stopping to admire the movie-set environment of Black Spire Outpost. 

Rise of the Resistance is just as much fun as we remember, although I discover that I've been ruined a bit by the interactive Doctor Who Time Fracture experience in London, I have a terrible desire to defiantly confront the Disney cast members who are playing the First Order troops.

We almost immediately roll over into Smugglers Run, where we crew the Millennium Falcon for a supply hijacking mission for the Resistance - and a bit of plunder for Hondo Ohnaka, the cheerfully corrupt owner of Ohnaka Transport. A quick snack, and we’re on to the first of three visits to Star Tours, where C-3PO and R2-D2 offer 54 different mishap-ridden 3-D tour adventures in the Star Wars universe, followed by some hazardous temple exploration with Indiana Jones.

By the end of the day, our feet are sore and we’ve walked over 18 kilometers, but we’ve done 11 different rides and experiences, enjoyed Dole Whip Floats and Mexican food, and generally gotten a great start on our trip. It’s good to be back.

- Sid

* As with the replacement of A Bug's Life with Avengers Campus, it's easy to look at Toon Town, which finds its origins in the 1988 Who Framed Roger Rabbit movie, and think that it may well be time for a different theme.

And we still found love together.

I rarely just post things that I find online, but this is such an unusual example of a thread that crosses over between my interest in the Doctor Who franchise, and my wife's interest in the Bachelor franchise* - my thanks to everyone involved.

- Sid

* This is more significant than you might think. Given that my wife watches The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, The Bachelor in Paradise, Survivor, The Circle, Love Island, Temptation Island, and Too Hot to Handle, and I watch Andor, She-Hulk**, Discovery, Picard, The Rings of Power, Strange New Worlds, and Doctor Who, it's easy to describe our viewing habits as being the extremes of reality TV versus unreality TV (for want of a better term), and as such there's generally not a lot of connection.

** Okay, we both watch She-Hulk, because it's a Marvel superhero show/procedural legal dramedy.

If you can't beat them.

As time goes by and retirement creeps closer, I find myself wondering about downsizing - which, in my case, means editing down my library, a daunting prospect.  I fully admit if I didn't have so many books we could probably get away with a one bedroom apartment, although I'd still need a spot for my iMac.

But what's the most profitable way of going about this?  I realize that I could just donate them all to a charity of some sort, but to be honest, if possible I'd like to get back some of the money I've invested over the years - money also being a useful thing for retirement.

I know that used bookstores have to get their inventory from someplace, but I can't help but feel that they want to pay as little as possible for the privilege. As such, I'm not sure that's the best solution.  Hmmm...I wonder whether it would be feasible to set up a store online?  I know there are options like Abebooks, which I believe would charge me a minimum of $25 USD per month depending on how much stock was listed online, along with 8% of every transaction (minimum 50 cents) and associated service fees.

I finally realized that what I really want to do is set up a little book stall like the ones by the Seine in Paris*, just sit there with a mug of chocolat chaud and a suitable book from the stock to read while I keep an eye on the traffic and hope for some sales - how sad that there's nothing like that in Vancouver!

- Sid

Postscript:  A quick Google™ search revealed that a non-food street vending license in Vancouver costs almost a thousand dollars annually - plus liability insurance.   Suddenly $25 USD a month doesn't seem exorbitant.

* I've seen something similar in New York, come to think of it.

Disney 2022: Changes.

Next week will see Karli and I depart for our first visit to Disneyland since 2020, where our return from the park was just under the wire for the start of the COVID-19 lockdown.

It's a bit of a bold decision, given that COVID is still very much a thing - in fact, some of Karli's friends described the park as a coronavirus hot zone after a recent trip (as well as contracting the virus during their visit).

However, having both suffered through the COVID-19 experience at the start of July, and now buffered by a well-timed second booster shot, we decided that we were in good condition to renew our acquaintanceship with the happiest place on earth. Sadly, we weren't able to make reservations for a repeat visit to Oga's Cantina in Black Spire Outpost, but who knows, we may get lucky with the walk-in option.  Karli is also looking forward to the opportunity to see the park decorated for Hallowe'en - she's been a fan of the Haunted Mansion since her first childhood trip.

There have been some changes over the past couple of years.  The Rise of the Resistance ride is no longer a reservation experience, which may or may not be a good thing, and the Avengers Campus is now open on the California Adventure side of the park - complete, of course, with a Shawarma Palace. 

There have also been some procedural changes.  What used to be a free Fastpass ride reservation service has been renamed as the Lightning Lane, which is now an additional charge, a sad comment on the eternal process of squeezing a little more money out of customers. Lightning Pass reservations can also be purchased as part of the Genie+ service, which bundles a variety of options for park visitors, such as photos by the Disney photography team.

Guests to the park are now completely reliant on the Disney app to make reservations, order food, and purchase Lightning Lane passes, to the point where a portable charger battery is strongly recommended so as to avoid losing the ability to access the necessary services to make your time at the park proceed smoothly - if at all.

There's a small private joke in all of this.  I have the impression that my wife thinks she needs to convince me to go to Disneyland, which, to be fair, was somewhat the case the first time we went in 2017.  Now?  Now there's a large Star Wars area and the new Avengers Campus - if anything, I'm worried that I need to convince her.

- Sid

Gnomic Statement XX: Limbo?

Am I the only person who keeps getting these ads for Foreverspin tops?  Or is everyone I know just waiting for Arthur to start the kick, but can't say anything?

- Sid