"I'm...the Chickenman."

Everyone is familiar with the pivotal moment in Bruce Wayne's life when he chooses the name and the costume which will set the template for his entire crime fighting career, and all of the tools that he uses in that fight:  the Batcar, the Batcopter, the Batcave, batarangs, and so on.  

But what if he had a different opinion of the criminal world?  What if a bat had failed to fly in and inspire him?  In an alternate reality, things could have turned out quite differently...

And, logically, following this new epiphany his array of crime fighting technology would have been completely different:

Photo by Colin - or Cloin - Campbell,  of the infamous Campbell Brothers

Evil doers, beware!

- Sid

P.S. I'd like to express, as a designer, how incredibly happy I was to actually use Comic Sans for the purpose it was intended for.

"Virtually Everywhere and Free To All!"

I've been following Explore Mars for a couple of years now - like The Planetary Society, they're a non-profit organization dedicated to advocacy in the area of space exploration - specifically, sending sustainable human missions to Mars beginning in the 2030s.

One of the things that initially attracted my attention was their Humans To Mars Summit, held annually in Washington, DC. The conference has always been ridiculously affordable at something like $75 USD a day, and I’ve seriously considered attending in person – in fact, I had gone as far as looking at AirBnB options in Washington – but the pandemic put that idea to rest, along with a lot of other travel plans. 

This year's conference will be held virtually, and, in keeping with the organization's non-profit mandate, it's free to attend.  It's taking place on September 13th through 15th - if anyone out there is interested in attending, you can sign up here.  I booked a ticket, but to be honest, I can't really attend, not even virtually.  I'll try to keep a window open both while working at home and at the office, but it's not the kind of thing that I can really justify taking three days off work for.*

The event features an impressive array of speakers from the scientific and aerospace communities, and will explore (no pun intended) a wide range of topics, including how space exploration improves life on earth, designing living space on Mars,** building a sustainable path to Mars using the Moon as a stepping stone, and, perhaps most importantly, how to maintain momentum for the next decade in order to ensure that the manned Mars missions actual take place. 

I'm hoping that my virtual booking will give me access to recordings of the sessions, although somehow it's not quite the same as hearing people speaking in the moment.  But, at least I should be able to catch some of the meetings live, and it's certainly an improvement on not being to go at all.  And, as we’ve all learned during the last couple of years, attending in person is not necessarily better than being a virtual audience member - after all, on Zoom™, every seat is in the front row.

- Sid

* Please pardon my dangling participle.

** I've already weighed in on this one.

"The retina of the mind's eye."

“That's why I never appear on television, except when I'm on television.” 

Professor Brian O'Blivion, Videodrome

At this week’s departmental Zoom ™ meeting, I paid deliberate tribute to the character of Brian O’Blivion from David Cronenberg’s 1983 cult classic Videodrome, a movie far before its time in terms of existence in media versus real life.

Professor O’Blivion, inspired by Marshall McLuhan, is never seen in public, only in video appearances and on cassette – as above, his only physical presence is as a talking head on a television monitor. It’s eventually revealed during the course of the film that he has been dead for quite some time, but his apparent ongoing existence is maintained through a carefully curated library of pre-recorded video clips – although he may also have a new life inside the television broadcasts themselves, within the videodrome of the title. 

In a similar spirit, at today's virtual session I informed my manager that I haven’t actually attended the meetings in weeks, I just record a random description of what I did on the weekend, followed by a five minute loop of nodding and blinking that runs during the entire session.

My announcement was greeted with laughter from the manager and the other members of the department, but to be honest, I’m not completely sure that everyone thought I was joking…

- Sid

Little Conversations: "I just want better stories."

The little conversations
On me are very rough.
They leave me all in pieces
You know there's never time enough.

Concrete Blonde, Little Conversations

 It DOES seem like a small thing to ask, though, doesn't it.

- Sid

"Captain Branson, commanding."

The crew of the VSS* Unity, just returned from its inaugural space voyage.  And honestly, could these people look any more like the bridge crew from a Star Trek spinoff?

- Sid

*Virgin Space Ship, I assume.  No, seriously, I didn't make that up, I'm quoting an article on the Guardian web site.

"Space has given us all the chance to dream."

Space has given us all the chance to dream: Of beauty and wonder. Of great adventures. Of being part of something bigger than ourselves. And now…

You’ll be one of the first people to live that dream on a Virgin Galactic spaceflight! 

Let that soak in for a minute. You’re. Going. To. Space.

You and your guest will board a Virgin Galactic spaceship where you’ll take off smoothly, just like an airplane, and watch as the colors outside your window change from blue to indigo to midnight black...

Hovering above Earth, nothing can prepare you for the breathtaking views of our bright planet and surrounding galaxy. Or hearing “you are now free to float about the cabin.” 

Cameras throughout the cabin will record every moment in HD. With 17 circular windows for viewing, every seat is a window seat. And there’s even a mirror to watch yourself floating through space.

Following a smooth glide descent, you’ll return back to Earth safely, but forever transformed. You’re an astronaut now.

Sir Richard Branson*, Omaze Contest Page

Today I purchased 250 chances at space for a mere $32 CAD on the Omaze contest site - I could easily have bought more than that, but I'm a bit of a believer in fate: if I'm meant to win, all I really need is one.

I have no real expectation of winning – unfortunately, I have a terrible track record for anything involving luck – but it’s certainly an awe-inspiring opportunity. Whatever my misgivings about the substance of Virgin Galactic’s successful first flight, if I won I would eagerly take my seat aboard Virgin Galactic's SpaceShipTwo in anticipation of experiencing zero gravity and seeing the Earth from orbit. 

The prize draw will take place at the end of September, just a few days after my birthday.  If any of the Fates are listening, it would certainly be one hell of a 60th birthday gift. 

- Sid

*  More likely Sir Richard's PR department, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

Small steps.

Today at 8:40 AM, Virgin Galactic finally conducted its first fully crewed suborbital space mission.  Sir Richard Branson, three other passengers, and two flight crew successfully ascended to 86 kilometers above the Earth's surface, and safely returned to the Virgin Galactic spaceport.

Whether or not this was prompted by the possibility of Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos beating him to the punch with his own flight on July 20th, Branson has undeniably accomplished his goal of launching the first passenger spaceship, and plans to restart ticket sales, which have been on hold since 2014's fatal test flight incident, which took the life of co-pilot Michael Alsbury.

How do we feel about Virgin Galactic's long-awaited first flight?

Logic says that there is no such thing as bad space travel – everything that broadens the boundaries of our ability to leave the planet is good.  Emotion says that Sir Richard is a dilettante, who has essentially created an expensive amusement park ride for his own entertainment and that of fellow billionaires. 

But, to be fair, the nature of exploration is such that for every Charlies Lindburgh who flies across the Atlantic solo, there will be countless people who desire to make the trip on less challenging terms.

Perhaps more appropriately, for every Commander Hadfield who endures a 5-G takeoff on their way to the International Space Station, there will be hundreds or perhaps thousands of people who want a more accessible opportunity to see Earth from orbit, to live their dream, to take one of the small steps that makes up the giant leap. 

To call those thousands of dreamers space tourists seems unfair, it somehow diminishes the experience, but that approach may well be the method through which commercial space travel actually becomes a practical prospect.  For all the talk about how exploitation of natural resources on other planets will be controlled, we’re a long way from mining the Moon or shipping minerals from Mars, whereas Virgin Galactic has actually demonstrated proof of concept for repeatable passenger travel to space.  

As of today, Sir Richard Branson has made space travel accessible to everyone - admittedly, right now to a very small definition of everyone, that being the number of people who can afford a $450,000 USD ticket, but that's how it starts, with a limited expensive service that eventually becomes affordable to the general public. It may be one small step, but it's a small step that everyone will eventually be able to take.

- Sid

The Tomorrow War: Never Have I Ever.

(Minor spoilers for The Tomorrow War follow.)

Over the course of the last two days I watched The Tomorrow War, starring Chris Pratt and a cast of thousands. I've often said that the two things I look for in a movie are aliens and explosions, and whatever other flaws this film may have, there's no denying that it delivers on those two criteria.

The plot is simplicity itself:  thirty years in the future, humanity is losing a war with alien invaders that are somewhere between the aliens from Alien and the monsters from A Quiet Place.*  In their desperation, they travel back in time to recruit soldiers from 2022, including ex-soldier, biologist and high school teacher Dan Forester, as played by Mr. Pratt.  

The recruits are essentially cannon fodder, warm bodies to throw into a losing war, shown how to pull the trigger and then dropped (literally) into apparently futile combat.  However, there's a chance that a biological agent designed to kill the aliens can turn the tide and save the world, and Forester finds himself part of the future team attempting to create an appropriate compound.  But the clock is ticking, in more ways than one...

The Tomorrow War paints with such a large brush that it's almost a roller, and I'm very curious as to how this movie would have performed at the box office in an alternate timeline where there was no pandemic.  (It was originally intended to debut in movie theatres last Christmas, but following the continued theatrical lockdown it was sold to Amazon™ for streaming on Prime instead.)  

It certainly rings the summer blockbuster bell in terms of shootouts and clever dialogue, but overall it feels a bit derivative, overly simplistic, and conveniently scripted**, and I'm sorry to say that I never completely accepted Chris Pratt as the right person to anchor this particular plotline.

But, all other considerations aside, I have to give The Tomorrow War full credit for two things.

First, the cast commits entirely.  Not since 1998's Armageddon have I seen a group of actors treat a dubious if not somewhat ridiculous premise with such utter and complete seriousness - not a wink, not a nod, not a smirk, everyone delivers their performances with a degree of gravitas suitable for Citizen Kane or Schindler's List.  (Well, okay, Chris Pratt maybe makes one joke too many, but you can make a case for it in context.)

Second, as a long time science fiction fan, never have I seen a group of people - or a script - so indifferent to the possible consequences of time travel.

All the soldiers from the future are under the age of 30 so as to avoid co-existence with their past selves, and the recruits from the past are being chosen for one grim qualification:  they've died sometime in the 30 years before the war begins.  Which is all well and good, but given that the recruits serve a week and then return to 2022***, WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM THAT THEY'RE GOING TO BE DEAD?  AND HOW THEY DIE?

And if they die in combat instead - as some 70% do, apparently - wouldn't that have some kind of serious repercussions for the future timeline?  

Or why did they not jump back to six months before the aliens first appeared and bomb that first appearance into ash if they're willing to risk changes to the past for their effect on the future?

Nope, nothing, not a word about the space-time continuum, the Butterfly Effect, the Grandfather Paradox, or even wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, no one seems to give it a moment's thought. 

Perhaps watching a few carefully chosen episodes of Doctor Who would have been useful research for the writers - or maybe just Looper, it's hard to think of a better example of how to use the past to change the future, and vice versa.

- Sid

* One reviewer commented that "these things would give Cthulhu nightmares".  Good to see Cthulhu getting some representation.

**  You know, convenient - like when they need to get to Russia in a hurry and the Department of Defense won't help, and it's already been established that Dan's estranged father has access to a C130 transport plane.

*** As explained:  "At the end of your tour of duty, if the jump band attached to your arm determines that you are still clinically alive, you will automatically be jumped back and your tour of duty will be over." 

Clinically alive - or, as my old office mate Bill used to say, able to fog a mirror.  One feels that the sets the bar a bit on the low side in terms of the degree of damage that someone could suffer and still be "clinically" acceptable.

"We can work it out, we can work it out."

And that was the expression that I was wearing this morning  - sans cigarette - when I randomly switched on the TV and discovered that, once again, CTV's Sci-Fi Channel was showing Jaws.

Based on blog postings, Space and its inheritor Sci-Fi have been sneaking Mr. Spielberg's masterpiece into the broadcasting lineup for a decade now, and I'm baffled as to the reason why.

And, to be honest, this time I almost want to give it to them:  the movie lineup for the day is Jaws, Deep Blue Sea (which is a legitimate science fiction shark), Deep Blue Sea 2, and The Meg, which may not be great science fiction, but at least it IS science fiction - broadly speaking.  It's a logical playlist and a reasonable concept for a different channel (or Channel) but still, in the words of Sesame Street, one of these things is not like the others.

Some very small part of me wonders if someone who has been working there for the last ten years actually reads this blog and is programming Jaws just to troll me, but my ego doesn't extend to an archenemy in the broadcasting profession.  However, if that is the case, however unlikely it may seem - hello.  If you're reading this, please, leave a comment, send me an e-mail, get in touch, do something, surely after all this time we can work this out before it ends badly.  Face it, sooner or later someone in charge is going to demand an explanation as to why you keep showing this damn shark movie - is this really worth your job?

- Sid