But wouldn't Stacy and Clinton just LOVE this?

 "I have a very bad feeling about this."

Luke Skywalker*, Star Wars IV:  A New Hope

I've recently been informed that a close acquaintance is planning to dress as a Jedi master throughout 2012.  Even more unfortunate, a little research reveals that right now TLC's What Not To Wear is only accepting applications for the show from San Juan, Houston, Memphis, and New York.

- Sid

* Actually, everybody says some version of this line:  Luke says it, Obi-Wan says it, Han says it, Leia says it, C-3PO says it, Anakin says it - it's the Star Wars equivalent of "I'll be back."

With apologies to my Secret Santa.

You know, it's comforting to discover that if you talk about your interests enough, people will eventually get the idea and apply that knowledge where appropriate.*  As an example, although I expected some sort of generic gift-card style present from my Secret Santa in our workplace holiday gift exchange, to my complete surprise I received two robot-themed Christmas ornaments and a collection of Dilbert cartoons. (Living on the edge with the last one, but they got lucky and bought one of the Dilbert collections that I don't already own.**)

However, I failed to grasp the fact that the ornaments were made out of glass, and as such didn't use sufficient care when unwrapping them at home.  The result, one broken robot. Fortunately, the ornaments came packed in a box from the Vancouver Art Gallery gift shop, so I decided to pay them a visit on my way home on Friday and purchase a replacement.

Once there, I was intrigued to see that there was a selection of other science-fiction themed decorations, and on the spur of the moment decided to add a couple of the others to my collection:

I'm particularly amused by the vaguely apprehensive expression on the flying saucer snowman's face as he looks toward the skies as if into the future.  Let's hope that there's nothing more intimidating than sunshine and warm weather in that future for all of us.

Happy holidays and merry Christmas, everyone - here we are again, half way out of the dark...

- Sid

* With certain exceptions - I won't name names here, but someone in my life has come to the erroneous conclusion that I have enough books, which is of course dead wrong.  I don't have enough shelves, either, darlin'...

** Wait - was owning Dilbert collections on the geek test?

Heroes R Us.

 So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored).  

- CDC Public Health Matters Blog

Damn it, I can't find my axe.

Very nice little axe, not a full 36 inch splitting axe but a smaller utility axe, 24 or 28 inches, very handy size.  I'm sure I brought it with me when I moved to Vancouver, it must just be buried somewhere in my little storage closet in the basement.

Don't worry, I haven't decided to buy a hockey mask and start butchering teenagers*, I'm looking for the axe so that I can add it to my disaster kit.

Popular opinion in the scientific community seems to be that it's not a question of if Vancouver is going to experience an earthquake, only a question of when and how big - there's a one in ten chance that the next fifty years will see a 6.5 to 8.9 magnitude earthquake somewhere in coastal British Columbia. 

As such, disaster planning has become a hot topic, and my workplace is making every effort to help its staff prepare for the worst.  We've had disaster planning seminars, emergency lockers with supplies are being set up in the building, and all of the staff members have received three-day two-person emergency supply packs.

I've actually gotten quite interested in the idea, and I've been gathering together a variety of useful items (or trying to gather - still can't find my axe) to supplement the commercial kit.  In addition to extra clothing and water, I've also set aside a short spade, work gloves, hard hat and goggles - and hopefully my axe - in order to be able to assist with rescue work.  I'm also thinking about adding a box of emergency meals to my cache.

But I have to admit that my interest is a bit suspect.  To be honest, it's sort of a science fiction game for me - in my head, I'm not really planning for an earthquake, I'm planning for an asteroid strike, or the zombie apocalypse, or maybe an alien invasion - some exotic end-of-the-world scenario that in reality would certainly demand a lot more for survival than some warm clothing and a one-week supply of food and water.

Oddly enough, I'm not unique in my approach to this.  Zombies were a popular promotional point for disaster planning groups and agencies in 2011. The US Centers for Disease Control discussed planning for the zombie apocalypse in their blog, emergency response agencies in Ohio conducted a zombie emergency exercise, and the city of Leicester in England was forced to admit that they didn't have plans in place for an attack by the undead.

Obviously no one is really worried about the walking dead (well, at least not Leicester), but the sort of chaos that we see in zombie movies is a telling example of what might actually happen in case of a disaster.  I'm confident that people see themselves as the hero in those movies, rather than a victim, but you know, I don't think that's a bad thing. If there is a disaster, I hope that we'll all be heroes.

And come to think of it, I really should find that axe, because that would be a damn handy thing to have around if zombies do become a problem.

- Sid

P.S.  A brief unpaid promo:  the emergency kits that we received through the company were purchased from a Canadian company called FAST -  First Aid and Survival Technologies Limited.  To avoid false expectations, FAST offers a variety of emergency kits, none of which come with shotguns, machetes, crossbows, or any of the other staples of zombie management.

* At least not yet.