A Boy and His Spacesuit - Part One.

Space Cadet!

In tribute to Tom Corbett, the original Space Cadet.

Did you ever wonder how big your head is?

In the case of most people, it's not a question that comes up in conversation all that frequently, but when I decided to build a spacesuit for Hallowe'en, I needed to have some idea of how large my head was for the purposes of helmet construction.  Result:  the cardboard mockup to the left.

Originally, I wanted to build something quite elaborate and polished in execution, but I quickly decided that I'd have to be prepared to compromise.  After all, I didn't have access to a workshop, I had neither the facilities or the required skills for building molds or doing vacuum forming - and let's face it, this was just something for one day at work.

Nonetheless, I spent some time looking at source material for inspiration: Star Trek, early NASA suits, Red Planet (not a great movie, but interesting spacesuits), Alien, Armageddon, Prometheus, and so on - as the expression goes, aim for the Moon, which seemed appropriate under the circumstances.

As I pointed out in my original posting, a lot of movie spacesuits consist of a fancy overall and a helmet, accessorized with life support packs, electronics, gauntlets, communications apparatus, and so on.  In fact, in the case of the Defying Gravity suits shown below, there isn't really that much in the way of greebly dressing, just the basics.

I've had a casual desire to build some scale model Warhammer 40K scenery for some time, and as a result there was a collection of odd bits and pieces of plastic and metal tucked away in my storage closet.  I already had a discarded ray gun that had probably been part of some kind of lazer tag game originally, and I found a couple of matching plastic covers of some sort, perfectly sized to be forearm pieces when combined with a couple of empty toner cartridges from work.  However, I knew that I couldn't rely on found objects for the entire costume, so I logged onto eBay in search for some affordable (read "cheap") coveralls.

I was fortunate enough to find something that had a slightly different look to it - coveralls with twin zippers that extended all the way from the neckline to the ankle, thereby giving them a sort of 1960s G-suit feel.  They were a Buy It Now item, so no need to wait out a bidding process, and priced within my modest project budget, so I placed an order for a medium outfit in blue.  (In retrospect, the grey and orange would have worked better with my final colour scheme, but c'est la vie, hindsight is always perfect.)

As I mentioned in my original posting, I had found the website for a company selling acrylic domes, and using the mockup of my head as a reference, placed an order for two 11x14 inch oval domes.  Or at least I tried to.  No ill will toward EZ Tops/Global Plastics, I suspect that most of their orders are for larger quantities than my modest request, but, um, guys? It does no harm to answer e-mails in a timely fashion, and order fulfillment and shipping seems to take an awfully long time as well.

As the delivery of the oval domes took longer and longer, I began to worry that I wouldn't be able to finish the costume, and unfortunately started to procrastinate as a result.  After all, if I couldn't make the helmet, there was no reason to work on the rest of the outfit.  And then one Sunday afternoon as I was making my way home from gym, something odd in a recycling bin caught my attention....

- Sid

Like Christmas shopping on Boxing Day.

I know, it's November 1st, but wouldn't this be an interesting change from zombie makeup for Hallowe'en?  The mismatched eye colour is a nice touch as well.

For the benefit of the curious, this is the endlessly talented Emilie Autumn in the role of the Painted Doll from The Devil's Carnival, a short horror film - for want of a better category, it qualifies as fantasy just as easily - written by Terrance Zdunich and produced and directed by Darren Bousman.

- Sid

Seriously, Darth Goofy?

George Lucas has sold Lucasfilm, and by extension the rights to the Star Wars franchise, to the Walt Disney Company for $4.05 billion.  Oh, lord...

I think the above picture pretty much says it all - just shoot me now, somebody.

- Sid

Is the correct pronunciation "Godzilla" or "Gojira"?

Reuters International reports that radiation may be leaking into the ocean from the damaged Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant in Japan.

I guess we all know what that means...

- Sid

P.S. Just for the record, I thought that the 1998 version of Godzilla was a well-designed update to the classic monster.  Which, also for the record, doesn't mean that it was a good movie, just a good monster.

Geek of the Week!

This week’s Geek of the Week* award goes to Donovan Hides, who was generous enough to offer me one of the distressed stone coasters that were being given away at The Storm Crow during his lunchtime visit on Friday. Each one of these attractive additions to the geek household comes with a different Dungeons and Dragons excerpt lacquered onto the back. Thank again, Donovan!

- Sid

*Just to be clear, I have no intention of doing this on a weekly basis, but Geek of the Month just didn’t have the same ring to it, and I'm not certain that this is big enough to warrant the prize for Geek of the Year.

At least it's blue.

Last Friday I went on the Sins of the City walking tour, sponsored by the Vancouver Police Museum*.  The tour offers a fascinating look at the early days of the city from the perspective of the police department, covering the locations and histories of innumerable riots, murders, bars, houses of ill repute, opium factories, gambling dens, smuggling warehouses, red light districts, criminal headquarters - and one church.

The tour started at the museum, which among other things had a Vancouver Police Phone Box on display.  Obviously if Doctor Who had been created in Canada, the TARDIS would have been a LOT bigger on the inside.

- Sid

* And arranged by Suki, our company Employee Engagement manager.  Thanks again, Suki!

Concept over Practicality II.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently won an eBay auction for a set of Major Matt Mason Supernaut Power Limbs.  On Wednesday of this week, I trotted over to the post office at my local Shopper's Drug Mart and, with trembling hands, took possession of the box containing this long-lost childhood memory.

I have to say that I'm impressed. We're talking about a toy which is at least 40 years old, and which depends heavily on hinges made out of crimped plastic.  On that basis, it's in extraordinarily good shape, and even has some of the original stickers.  It's very much the toy that I remember, except that it seems to be a lot smaller than it was when I was twelve. I feel a bit of nostalgic sadness about that.

A couple of people have mentioned that it reminds them of the power lifter from Aliens, and I can see how it would be easy to make that association - after all, how many exoskeletal powersuits are there in popular culture?  But, to be honest, I find it to be a bit of a dubious compliment, given that in my opinion Aliens has some of the worst designed pieces of hardware (from a practical standpoint) in the vast pantheon of science fiction movie technology.

Strike One.
Let's start with the power lifter itself.  Yes, undeniably a clever plot concept that puts Ripley on an equal footing with the Alien Queen, but let's take a moment and talk about physics.

For the last few years, I've been doing publications work for an organization that, among other things, is responsible for training people to use heavy equipment on the waterfront.  Forklifts are a firmly established piece of technology that rely heavily (no pun intended) on weight distribution and low centre of gravity in order to move heavy cargo. There's a reason that things like the power lifter don't exist in the real world, it's because they're horribly impractical.  The centre of gravity would be too high and too far forward to allow any sort of serious weight to be transported. (Not to mention how much smoother the ride is with a wheeled vehicle.)

Strike Two.
Ignoring for a moment the question of exactly what keeps this thing in the air, because it has the aerodynamic qualities of a brick, in the picture above we see it unfolding a variety of what appear to be sheaf missile launchers - AS IT FINISHES DOING AN ATMOSPHERIC INSERTION FROM AN ORBITING SPACESHIP!  As Felix Baumgartner has just demonstrated, things fall FAST when you drop them from that high up.  It makes me wince to think what would happen to an aircraft that tried to do something like this in the real world - if they were lucky, it would just rip the launchers off the hull.  Less lucky (and more likely), the lander would start to tumble almost immediately, followed by a much earlier crash than the one in the movie's script.

And Strike Three.
Why in the world would the Marines have an armoured personnel carrier with less road clearance than a Smart Car?  A US Army HMMWV has a minimum of 16 inches of ground clearance and can go anywhere an Abrams M1 main battle tank can go - this thing would have trouble going up on the sidewalk from the street.

Ah, but don't they all LOOK cool...

- Sid

P.S. If the Power Limbs look taller in the picture above than in the photos from the eBay posting, that's because there are these clever little clips that let you adjust the height of the legs.  Again, how cool is this?

"They give in to the dark side."

Politicians often start out with good intentions. This is true for both natives and non-natives, alike. They get into politics with the idea that they can change the world and make it a better place. The fortunate few succeed in their mission. Many others, however, fail. They become enamored with ego and entranced with power.  

They give in to the dark side. They forget about the principles that define us as Aboriginal people. They ignore the wisdom of the elders and instead listen to the counsel of the lawyers. They cater to their family to keep their voter base intact. They ignore the state of our language and instead focus on the state of their bank account. They would rather sing the praises of their accomplishments than sing the songs of their ancestors. They lead us into treaty instead of leading us into unity. We know that this power is simply just a mask; a mask that can be removed to make them one with the people once again. 

Andy Everson on his Darth Vader print, Power

More Star Wars influenced prints by Andy Everson as he continues to use Lucas' characters as metaphors for a variety of aboriginal concerns and issues.  The new series includes Wisdom (Yoda), Fear (Darth Maul), Control (an Imperial Stormtrooper) and Power (Darth Vader.)  I find his comments regarding the Darth Vader print to be particularly evocative in their description of power as a mask.

Political questions aside, it fascinates me to see how many artists have turned from traditional artistic influences to basing their work on imagery from comic books, video games, and science fiction and fantasy movies and television programs.  Is this an inevitable and natural result of the prevalence of these pop culture icons in the lives of the current generation, or is the artistic community taking advantage of the geek chic factor? 

- Sid

Tidbits III.

I need to have a word with HR.

The last time I did one of these little updates, I announced that we had hired someone who could sneer and say "Star Trek" at the same time.  Now we've hired a woman who is unfamiliar with the expression, "You have the bridge, Number One."  Honestly, where do we find these people? *

Well, at least I've taken care of the last one.
Damn it, I had IMPORTANT things to do this weekend!  I'm trying to build a spacesuit for Hallowe'en, I've got The Avengers on Blu-ray, six new science fiction novels from Chapters to read (courtesy of birthday gift certificates, thanks to all), and I'm behind on blog postings.  And how did I spend most of the weekend? Writing about cargo containers for work. I sometimes worry about my priorities...

Okay, so I didn't write about containers ALL weekend.
I saw William Gibson on 4th Avenue on my way back from the gym on Sunday, and it was all I could do to avoid some kind of uncomfortable fanboy moment.  On the other hand, he's got to be used to that sort of thing by now, he's been an object of geek veneration for almost 40 years.
Seriously, how cool is this?

It was actually a surprise when eBay notified me that I'd won the auction for a set of Major Matt Mason Supernaut Power Limbs with my original bid of $9.99. I'd completely forgotten that I'd even placed a bid, and I frankly expected to be outbid almost instantly - I suspect that the damn things cost about ten bucks when they first came out back in 1969.  (Okay, there was $16 of postage from Ontario, but it's still an astonishing deal.)

And really, what fun is a birthday if you don't get some toys? **

- Sid

*  As it turns out, another one of my co-workers doesn't recognize this quote. I wonder what her excuse is, did they not show The Next Generation in Australia?

** I had one of these as part of my childhood MMM collection until my brother Doug broke it, THE EVIL BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!  (Fortunately I'm not still bitter.)

Gnomic statements IV.

Quiet weekend now that the Ponds have dried up.

- Sid

"This time for sure!"

Many are my names in many countries, he said. Mithrandir among the Elves, Tharkûn to the Dwarves, Olórin I was in my youth in the West that is forgotten, in the South Incánus, in the North Gandalf; to the East I go not.

Faramir quoting Gandalf, The Two Towers

There's a longstanding tradition of pubs and bars in science fiction and fantasy:  Arthur C. Clarke's White Hart, deCamp and Pratt's Gavagan's Bar, Spider Robinson and Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, the Vulgar Unicorn, Munden's, The Mended Drum (and The Busted Drum), The Prancing Pony, Chalmun's Cantina, and so on.  For a long time the village tavern was a ubiquitous starting point for Dungeons and Dragons adventures, to the point where it's now a fantasy cliché to start a quest in a pub.

The Storm Crow Tavern, which opened here in Vancouver last month, is in some ways a tribute to this tradition, as well as simply offering a geek/nerd alternative to sports bars and night clubs.  The bar describes itself as "An Olde Medievalle Taverne with rayguns", so obviously I've been curious to see what they have to offer.

I've mentioned my first unsuccessful attempt at visiting The Storm Crow, but, fool me once - this time I check their Twitter™ and Facebook™ pages to make sure that they're open for business. Reassured by both, once again I put on an appropriate Doctor Who t-shirt, and head off to 1305 Commercial Drive.  No problems this time - the doors are unlocked, and I head inside and find myself a seat in the corner. Based on my previous comments about wanting to find a bar that would show Star Wars in lieu of the Stanley Cup, I'm amused to see that I've shown up exactly in time for the start of A New Hope.

The decor is a mix of longsword and laser: in addition to the battle axes and shields, there's an array of ray guns and blasters underneath a Boba Fett helmet and a Cyberman mask*, and the tattered war banners are balanced by a selection of Colonial and Dalek propaganda posters. There's also a comprehensive library of vintage 1980s Choose Your Own Adventure books.

The lager on tap is a locally brewed Howe Sound product, which I order with a bit of caution, having had a couple of dubious experiences with their brewing. The menu isn't very elaborate, but all the meals are six dollars, which is intriguing.  I order the prime rib sandwich with fries - it shows up quickly, it's a good size for the price, and it's quite tasty, although next time I'll ask for well done fries, I prefer mine more on the crispy side.

The bar's wireless password is "mithrandir", and to my amusement the waitress pronounces it like a foreign word and slowly and carefully spells it for me even though I'm already typing it in. I suspect that she hasn't been hired based on her genre background, which, when you think about it, may not be a bad thing.  Logically you want waitresses who can reliably sort out beverage orders for a table of eight rather than list all of Gandalf's pseudonyms.

The place is empty when I arrive, but then very few bars are busy at 3:00 on Thursday afternoon. As time goes on, people begin to trickle in. Notable guests are a woman in steampunk attire, another patron wearing a Sith Inside t-shirt, and a table of confused German tourists who are suffering from the mistaken belief that the banners and battle axes are evidence of a Teutonic bar. Interestingly, as the place starts to fill up, a lot of the clientele are female. Female geeks have become a solid part of the community, and I think it's a positive sign that the bar has a high female ratio.

Because I have a lengthy bus trip home, I pay a visit to the little orc's room on the way out - literally, the men's room being distinguished by a World of Warcraft Orc action figure on the door, and the ladies' by a female Wood Elf.

Overall, I quite liked The Storm Crow, and will certainly go back to help support it as opportunity allows. I realize that my midafternoon weekday visit wasn't really a fair evaluation of a bar like this, in that, as with any social environment, it will be defined by its patrons. I suspect that on a busy night, when the gaming table is in use and the place is full of customers, the atmosphere is brilliant.

Ultimately, all of the bits and pieces of decoration are just window dressing, and I think that the reason for the sudden popularity of the bar is purely conceptual - the decor is almost irrelevant, it's the idea of announcing to the geek community that they have a place to go which will be responsible for the bar's success.

 - Sid

* By the way, Autocorrect on the iPad obviously needs some more work - it didn't recognize either one of these terms when I was taking notes on site.


October 1st update:  attempted another visit at lunch today in the company of co-worker and fellow geek Donovan, only to find out that they were closed again.  Checked Facebook™ and discovered that apparently they'll be closed on Mondays going forward.  This gives them a score of 1/3 so far, which is not great.

Guys, I like your pub, but honestly, two words:  POSTED HOURS.

And trying harder.

 "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." 

- Mark Twain

Congratulations are in order!  According to Internet statisticians Alexa, The Infinite Revolution is ranked 23,702,450 out of all the web sites in the world.

Why, do you ask, does this deserve congratulations?

According to the Techlogon technology information blog, there are approximately 190 million active sites on the Internet.  And those are just the active ones, apparently there's another 430 million that are considered to be inactive.  (An inactive web site is defined as a registered domain name with no content - cybersquatters, companies that bought up variations on their own name to avoid conflicts, etc.)

In other words, just looking at the active sites, my little hobby blog is close to being in the top ten percent of international web sites based on the number of visits per month.  Ha - just you wait, Facebook™...

- Sid

Or the Wardrobe, for you Narnia fans.

This is my living room.

And, as living rooms go, there's really not a lot to say about it.  It owes a large debt to IKEA, as so many transient living rooms do, there's a forgettable Frank Lloyd Wright poster over the couch, a couple of paintings by my friend Norah the artist, books, DVDs, some antique cameras, and that's that. Pictures of my dining nook, my kitchen and my bedroom would reveal a similar approach to decorating.

And then there's this one other room...thousands of science fiction and fantasy novels, comic books under the desk, some boxes of Heavy Metal fantasy art magazines, my toy robots, a Starcraft action figure, my Atlantean shortsword, a chrome battleaxe, my globe of Mars, a Dalek, computer game boxes, the R2D2 mug that my nephew Chris made for me about 25 years ago, and right now a big stack of bits and pieces destined to become a Hallowe'en spacesuit. (Or not.)

It's funny to realize that, as far as my geek life goes, I haven't really come out of the TARDIS, so to speak.  Seal off that second bedroom, and there's no evidence in my apartment of the interest in science fiction and fantasy which has been a mainstay of my entire life.  I've no idea why.  It's not as if I'd have any difficulty decorating the living room with classic science fiction movie posters and moving a few robots onto the wall unit - why don't I?

At some fundamental level, I'm still self-conscious - if not embarrassed - by my hobby.  The term "self-conscious" is well chosen, because other than some high school ostracism, there haven't been any incidents in my life where it's been a barrier in any way.  The current social environment embraces - or at least accepts - the geek lifestyle, but the lessons taught to me during my redneck childhood subconsciously tell me that I should be watching baseball highlights on TSN rather than Voyager reruns on Space.

But there's hope.  After all, I do have this blog with my actual real name on it, and the people I work with know that I'm a geek, and they've generally been pretty accepting.  In fact, as it turns out, one or two of them are geeks as well.  Hmmm...I wonder how they've decorated their living rooms?

- Sid

"Láthspell I name you, Ill-News!"

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Chris e-mailed me a link to an article in the Vancouver Courier about The Storm Crow, a newly opened fantasy/science fiction and gaming themed bar over on Commercial Drive. (For those of you unfamiliar with the derivation*, Stormcrow is one of the names by which Gandalf is known in The Lord of the Rings.)

I've always felt that there was room in the marketplace for a bar that would show the third Star Wars movie instead of the fourth game of the Stanley Cup playoffs, but to be honest, details in my mental picture have been fuzzy (outside of a few unfortunately juvenile ideas regarding costumes for the waitresses).  As such, I was interested in seeing what an actual implementation of the concept would look like.

Apparently the new spot has been a hit, to the point where I've read a few online comments on their difficulties dealing with the crowds. I'm off work this week, and I thought that I would take advantage of the opportunity to go over to the Drive early enough in the afternoon to avoid the rush and scope the place out in relative peace and quiet over a contemplative pint.

So this afternoon at about three, after putting on my London Doctor Who Experience 2011 souvenir t-shirt (hey, if you're going to a gang bar, you got to wear your colours) I was out the door and onto the Number 22 bus.

Fifty-five minutes later, as I was making my way up the last bit of a hill to Commercial, I thought to myself that generally I wouldn't patronize a bar that required a two hour round trip.  SF and fantasy motif or not, it's a big city, there's lots of bars.  However, I had high hopes that it might prove worth it now and then just for the ambience - and, you know, the opportunity to hang with my peeps.

I rounded the corner onto Commercial Drive, there was the sign for the bar, I started to unlimber my Nikon for a picture, and what do you know - CLOSED TODAY FOR STAFF FUNCTION.  So I took three shots of the frontage, a closeup of their sign, and trotted back to the bus stop.

A little investigation revealed that there had been a Tweet announcing their closure at about 2:30, and the fine print on their Facebook™ page also said that they were closed until tomorrow.  Sadly, I didn't decide to follow them on Twitter™ or friend them on Facebook™, I just went to their web site for the address - which, by the way, did not mention any sort of closure in their Events calendar for September 24th.

I realize that these things happen, and that no lives were lost as a result of this. I'll make another attempt to visit The Storm Crow later this week.  However, I would like to suggest to the management of the bar that if you're going to be closed for a full day, you should have that information EVERYWHERE - including, perhaps, your web site.

- Sid

* There are some other genre references to storm crows, but Gandalf Stormcrow is probably the best known one.

Voight-Kampff machines - your tax dollars at work!

Photo by Chris Sumner

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I'd like to see a little more transparency in the British Columbia government's handling of the Nexus Six replicant situation.

- Sid

Take Me Back to Another Time and Place.

(Contributed by Laurie Smith)

Since Sid broached the subject of time travel and made me the central character of his exposition, I felt it only fair to write a short response.

Everybody wants to be part of something meaningful and grand, and the opportunity to experience a pivotal moment in history would be a huge temptation. Time-wise, the ill-fated journey of the Titanic is a brief event. Would I want to spend four days of my life immersed* in that world? Sure. Being a witness to the Hundred Years War? Not so much.

I figured that being a first class passenger would not only provide one with the best amenities that the White Star line had to offer, but also increase the odds of survival; namely because first class women and children were ushered into the lifeboats sooner rather than later on the night of April 14, 1912. As Sid pointed out though, I might not enjoy the experience – no modern conveniences, no hot stone spa massages and only weird food available (cucumber sandwiches, champagne, candied quail eggs, what have you)….rather than protein powder, chicken wraps and stir fried Chinese vegetables. I wouldn’t have my TRX or laptop with me, and the ship likely did not have a proper gym on board.

Dr. Robert Ballard spearheaded the first successful recovery efforts in 1985. Considering the “twonky” issue, what if I had brought my BlackBerry™ onto the Titanic with me and had kept it hidden, but had lost it when the ship sank? The salvage team in the mid 80s would have been almost as puzzled by it as the passengers from a century ago, had I brought it out at the Captain’s dinner table.

I firmly believe that time travel will forever remain in the realm of fantasy, despite its popularity as a topic in science fiction. H. G. Wells was onto something with his 1895 publication of The Time Machine. Far more possible is the future emergence of a Choose Your Own Adventure trip down memory lane, à la Total Recall. They actually had something like this in the 60s and 70s: back then it was called LSD.

- Laurie

* Mild pun intended

September 1st update:  as it turns out, we are guilty of not performing due diligence in our research.  The Titanic gym was located on the starboard side of the Boat deck, adjacent to the second funnel.  Between the rowing machines, the stationary bikes, and whatever other pieces of steampunk exercise arcana were available, Laurie might be able to get an acceptable workout.  In fact, it might be an unexpected bonus for her to have the opportunity to work out in a Victorian gym, just to see what state of the art was like a hundred years ago.

- Sid