Whoa.

 And now, without further ado, the final movie in the Bill and Ted trilogy:  

It's been a long time coming, in more ways than one - and I'm pleased to say that I found it well worth the wait. 

The movie starts with Bill and Ted speaking at the wedding of Missy and Ted's younger brother Deacon (I was SO CLOSE when I predicted in my previous posting that it would be a good plot hook if she married Ted) and then performing their latest failed attempt at writing the song which is going to unite the world. It appears that their (most) triumphant performance at the end of Bogus Journey was not that song, and since then Wyld Stallyns has been fruitlessly attempting to write it.

After Ted's father literally pulls the plug on their performance and berates the duo for wasting 35 years, Ted admits to Bill that he's thinking of giving up. At which point, they are dragged off to the future by Rufus' daughter Kelly, where they are informed that the song is more important than expected:  if it is not performed at exactly 7:17 on that date in the past, all of reality will be destroyed.  Time and space have already begun to unravel, with historical figures and artifacts like George Washington, Christ and the Pyramids of Cheops being pulled from their own times.  They have 77 minutes to write the song that they have been unable to complete in almost 35 years.

The duo remains unchanged in their desire for easy solutions: in this case, they plan to use the vintage phone booth time machine to visit their future selves and acquire the song after it has been written.

 

Meanwhile, their daughters, Theo and Billie, take advantage of Kelly's return to 2020 and borrow her time machine to begin putting together the ultimate band to back up their fathers' fateful performance. Full marks to Brigitte Lundy-Paine and Samara Weaving as Wilhelmina "Billie" Logan and Theodora "Theo" Preston, who manage to match Reeves and Winter in their deadpan dedication as they recruit Jimmy Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, and Mozart - along with legendary Chinese flautist Ling Lun and prehistoric drummer Grom.

 

No spoilers, but I don't think it's a shock to discover that the song is performed, reality is saved, and the future remains the future - except for the bad parts involving the princesses, Open Mike Night, Dave Grohl, and prison, which probably don't happen.  Bill and Ted profess their love for their wives, Ted's father apologizes for doubting them, Death is welcomed back into the band, and Kid Cudi says "Station".

Through it all, the movie remains completely true to its origins.

It's not sarcastic, it's not cringey**, it's just silly fun, delivered in the most earnest fashion imaginable, and Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves never wink, smirk or nudge - they ARE Bill and Ted, and they portray them with the gravity and respect that they deserve, with all their doubts and honesty and love and determination - two men who will die and go to Hell to find their daughters and make everything right.

And, to quote the late Rufus: "Sometimes things don't make sense until the end of the story."

- Sid

* It's actually kind of odd to see Keanu Reeves return to the innocence of Theodore "Ted" Logan after three blood-soaked John Wick movies - you have to wonder if he found it to be a relief.

** I love Tina Fey, but I can't watch her movies because of the cringe factor. 

"It's time to be the hero..."

"Time is in chaos...
the fate of earth hangs by a thread...
and you are our only hope...
It's time to be the hero."

Project Time Vortex

"Did you get my shoe?"

The Doctor

The universe is in danger, and the Doctor needs your help.

In fact, several Doctors, based on video logs from a former UNIT* Black Site. The site is built around a time anomaly known as the Time Fracture, which has been under study by UNIT scientists for 14,682 days (I'll save you finding a calculator - just over 40 years).  

After years without change, chronon and artron energy levels from the Fracture have unexpectedly spiked, accompanied by the arrival of an enigmatic artifact - okay, it's a shoe, very much in the style of the 10th Doctor.**

The changes in the Fracture have resulted in additional time anomalies being reported from around the world, and allowing alien incursions by Time Lords, Daleks and Cybermen, incursions which are quickly dealt with by security forces.

In an attempt to determine the cause of the changes in the long-dormant anomaly, former UNIT Sergeant Robert Dudley is sent in investigate the interior of the Fracture. A massive energy surge drags him in and severs his lifeline - the Sergeant is lost.

An additional video log from the black site reports that one of the UNIT scientists has come up with a plan to build a portal stabilization gateway based on technology from a vortex manipulator from the Black Archive.  The PSG would balance the artron and chronon energies to allow someone to safely enter the fracture, but they need volunteers, volunteers who understand the dangers that they will face.

"On who those volunteers should be, well, someone has a suggestion."

Following the loss of Sergeant Dudley, another piece of footwear has come through the fracture - this time strongly reminiscent of the current Doctor's boots - after which Doctor's private communication channel becomes active, first confirming receipt of the shoe, then followed by a list of hundreds and hundreds of names.

"Which brings us to you."

The video then switches to former UNIT chief scientist Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, who violates security protocols to deliver the astonishing news that one of the names on the list is yours, and earnestly suggests that this is your time to join the fight. "Consider this your invitation to step up and save the universe.  I know you won't let us down."

And so, the scene is set for the next Doctor Who Experience - Time Fracture, an immersive, interactive experience that spans time and space as you attempt to save the universe.

Time Fracture was announced on August 18th, and tickets went on sale two days later for a start date of February 17th, 2021, with performances available through to the 11th of April 2021.  Participants will also be able to add an exclusive merchandise package to their ticket, which includes a UNIT t-shirt, a UNIT pin, and an event poster.  (Sadly, the merch package is apparently only available on site - "for collection after your chosen performance.")

As part of my 50th birthday trip to Europe in 2011, I attended the first Doctor Who experience,which I found to be excellent fun for a Doctor Who fan, and there would be a kind of symmetry in attending another immersive experience for my 60th birthday.

As such, under normal circumstances I'd be gently lobbying for Karli and I to do a return trip to England early in 2021, but even if we both felt comfortable with international travel right now (which we don't), under the current restrictions it's just not practical.  We might well be called upon to self-isolate for 14 days at either or both ends of the trip, and let's face it, that's just not feasible.

But, in the famous words of baseball coach Yogi Berra, it ain't over till it's over.  The Time Fracture experience is on until almost May, there's been a lot of talk about vaccines, Trump** keeps saying the whole thing will just go away*** - anything could happen in the next few months.

To use an even older quote, who knows, the horse may learn to sing.

- Sid

* Originally the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, now the UNified Intelligence Taskforce, UNIT has been a mainstay of the Doctor Who universe since 1968, but apparently UNIT operations were suspended in 2019 due to lack of government funding, which is presumably why everyone refers to themselves as "former" UNIT operatives.  This begs the question of how the black site has remained in operation.

** It says a great deal when you can recognize a shoe based on the character who wore it.

*** You know you're desperate when you start to quote Donald Trump as support.

**** As, hopefully, will Trump himself. 

Rivendell.

‘Rivendell!’ said Frodo. ‘Very good: I will go east, and I will make for Rivendell. I will take Sam to visit the Elves; he will be delighted.’ He spoke lightly; but his heart was moved suddenly with a desire to see the house of Elrond Halfelven, and breathe the air of that deep valley where many of the Fair Folk still dwelt in peace.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Sid: Hang on, I have to take a picture.
Karli: Blog posting?
Sid: Yep.

For our anniversary this year, Karli and I decided to spend a few days on Bowen Island, located a brief 20 minute ferry ride west of Vancouver's Horseshoe Bay ferry terminal. We stayed at a pleasant lower-level Airbnb apartment conveniently located near Snug Cove - an Airbnb, which, to my intense satisfaction, was located more or less at the corner of Elrond and Rivendell.  

For those of you not in on the joke, we first meet the seemingly ageless Elrond Half-Elven at his home of Rivendell in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, but it's not until The Lord of the Rings that we learn his full story, and of his involvement in the first War of the Ring.

The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young, though in it was written the memory of many things both glad and sorrowful. His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars. Venerable he seemed as a king crowned with many winters, and yet hale as a tried warrior in the fulness of his strength. He was the Lord of Rivendell and mighty among both Elves and Men.

Fans of both the books or the movies will recall that it is at the Council of Elrond* that Frodo volunteers to take the ring to Mordor, though he does not know the way.

I actually spent about an hour one morning** searching through the internet for some clue as to who the fantasy fan in the Bowen Island Planning department might be, without any luck.  Whoever was responsible, I can see why you made your decision: after four days of exploring the deep valleys and dark forests of Bowen Island, it's easy to imagine stumbling across a hidden mountain fastness, surrounded by trees and waterfalls, where Men and Elves rest and take council.

- Sid

P.S. In our travels we also discovered Eowyn Lane, but I'm not certain that it's part of the official street system.

* The council is being held at the court of Elrond - as per the sign, Elrond's Court.

** I often get up earlier than Karli, and it seemed like a quiet way to pass the time while I drank my tea.