Ghostbusters 2: "Break the barriers".

 

I'd like to thank Karli for an excellent guest posting on the new Ghostbusters, and, based on her input, I wanted to enlarge on my position regarding the remake.

For me, movie remakes are a little bit like cover versions of songs. If you're not going to make it your own, if you're not going to bring something new to the table, why bother? *

For whatever reason, genre films seem to be targeted for remakes and reboots more than the mainstream: Robocop, Planet of the Apes, Spider-Man, Total Recall, The Time Machine, Batman, Superman, and so on, with the Ghostbusters remake as the latest entry on the list.  Some of them refresh and revive the base concept, some don't - how does Ghostbusters score?

I agree with Karli that Ghostbusters was fun, and that the main cast has fabulous chemistry.  Kate McKinnon is obviously the next Jim Carrey - let's hope that Hollywood has the good sense to find her a script, hand her the ball, and just let her run with it.

It's also a funny movie, and the selection of cameos from the 1984 cast were a nice nod to the first version.**  I completely agree with Karli that Chris Hemsworth's Kevin failed to impress - a little more depth there would have helped to broaden the film.

All that being said, it's not a very different movie than the original version.  Do I think that it was worth remaking this movie just to replace the originals with female leads?  I would say no - in my mind, that doesn't matter.  A movie should be judged on its own merits, regardless of whether the cast is male or female.

However, I think I'm wrong.

Ghostbusters is a noteworthy cultural phenomenon in that there's such a sharp division between the film as such and its position as a feminist milestone. As Karli points out in her posting, it's important that women be shown taking the lead, both as actors and characters - and THAT'S why we needed to see "bitches busting ghosts".

- Sid

* The Alien Ant Farm version of Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal is a prime example of this.

** But where was Rick Moranis? I know he retired from acting in order to raise his children, but surely he could have gotten a babysitter and done a quick hit-and-run appearance at the studio.

Ghostbusters 1: "Safety lights are for dudes!"

(Contributed by Karli Thomas)

 

"No one should have to encounter that kind of evil. Except you girls, I think you can handle it."

Theatre Manager, Ghostbusters

Last weekend, on opening night no less, Sid, and I went to see Ghostbusters. I had been looking forward to it since the first teaser trailer had come out. Maybe even before then. I remember seeing the first image released from the set – the four women wearing the jumpsuits, proton packs strapped to their backs. I poured over the photo and anticipated seeing these very funny women take charge of these very iconic roles. That Paul Feig was directing was the icing on the cake.

In broad terms, I liked the movie. The main cast had great chemistry and were very funny. Kate McKinnon owned every scene she was in. Melissa McCarthy was pleasantly un-Tammy-like. Leslie Jones and Kristen Wiig did exactly what you`d expect of them and they were fun to watch. Chris Hemsworth’s character was problematic for me*. The big fight sequence in the second half dragged, but I am guilty of thinking that pretty much every big fight scene in the history of movies drags – you could all learn something from Game of Thrones Battle of the Bastards, filmmakers!

As we walked out into the fresh summer air, Sid proposed a question for this new version of Ghostbusters:  “Did it need to be made?” Specifically, is changing the cast to all female enough of a reason to remake this movie? Sid thinks maybe not and I think maybe yes.

At some point in our future a generation of girls will grow up seeing movies starring more women in a wider variety of roles and that is a very good thing. Young girls (and boys for that matter) will get a broader spectrum of female role models and a more expansive view of what women can do and what they look like in those roles.

Ghostbusters was fun to watch and it was a pleasure to see these women take the reins and do such a great job of leading the movie. Did Ghostbusters need to be remade?  Maybe not remade exactly, no, they could have done a sequel rather than a reboot. But since Hollywood is going to reboot movies regardless of whether or not they need to – why not let women finally take the lead and have some fun?

- Karli

* My complaint about Kevin is nearly complete – he was poorly written, poorly acted and poorly directed. He should have been a dumb, good looking klutz, not a complete idiot.

Warped starlight.

 Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science-fiction.
Zoë: We live in a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?  

Objects in Space, Firefly

I've just finished reading City at World's End, a 1951 short novel by Edmond Hamilton.  Hamilton is one of the lost treasures of science fiction - a contemporary of the better known E.E. "Doc" Smith, his prolific work from the first half of the 20th century helped to establish the "thundering planets" style that typifies the early science fiction of the pulp era.

Over time his writing developed a more humanistic, insightful approach, as demonstrated in short stories such as What's It Like Out There?, The Pro, and Requiem.  Other strongly recommended reading would be 1966's Doomstar and his Starwolf trilogy from the late 1960s  - The Weapon from Beyond, The Closed Worlds, and World of the Starwolves. These four books beautifully combine Hamilton's epic view of the future with a more personal, character-driven narrative.*

City at the World's End shows glimpses of Hamilton's mature style, although it's still strongly reminiscent of his early work. In this story, the detonation of an experimental superbomb hurls a small American town millions of years into the future, to an uninhabited - and uninhabitable - Earth.  Scientists from a research centre concealed in the town manage to activate a distress beacon in an abandoned city, attracting the attention of a ship from the galaxy-wide Federation**.

Upon their arrival, the Federation's representatives offer the townspeople a double-edged salvation - they can save the inhabitants of the town, but only by removing them from Earth and transferring them to a different world.

However, a dissident crew member offers another option - requesting a dangerous experimental process which might re-ignite the fires at the Earth's core, thereby providing enough warmth for the castaways from the past to continue to live on Earth.  One of the scientists is taken by starship to the Vega star system to plead the town's case before the galactic Board of Governors: 

He would not show fear. They expected him to do so, they were watching him with sidelong glances of interest and amused expectation. But Kenniston clenched his fists inside his jacket pockets, and resolved fiercely to disappoint them.

He was afraid, yes. It was one thing to read and talk and speculate on flying space. It was another and much more frightening thing to do it, to step off the solid Earth, to rush and plunge and fall through the worldless emptiness.

He stood there with Gorr Holl*** and Piers Eglin in the bridge of the Thanis, looking ahead through the curving view windows, and a cold sickness clutched at his vitals.

"It isn't the way I expected it to be," he said unsteadily. "Only those stars ahead--"

He fought against the impulse to clutch for support. He wouldn't do that, while the bronzed star-men behind him were curiously watching him. 

Directly ahead, Kenniston looked at a depthless black in which fierce stars flared like lamps. The blue-hot beacon of Vega centered that vista, and up from it blazed the stars of the time-distorted Lyre and Aquila, crossed on the upper left by the glittering sun-drift of the Milky Way.

Only that section of sky ahead was clear. The rest of the firmament, extending back from it, was an increasingly blurred vista of warped starlight whose rays seemed to twitch, jerk and dance. 

The last 50 years have provided the general population with an extensive education regarding life in the future: androids, starships, energy weapons, warp drives, a plethora of advanced technology.  Anyone who has seen a Star Wars movie, any one of the iterations of the Star Trek franchise, or one of a hundred other visual stories set in space would be completely familiar with the view that fills Kenniston with such dread (although I'm willing to admit that the actual experience might well be more daunting than watching it on a movie screen, even in IMAX 3D).  And at this point, who hasn't seen one of those examples? 

How ironic that, with all the things that science fiction has predicted for the future, it would fail to predict its own success and popularity.

- Sid

* And I have to add that they're fun.  Hamilton knows what he's doing - he paints his interstellar future with a big brush, but he also uses a lot of bright colours on a huge canvas, and the result is dramatic, tense, and entertaining.

** It's not the U.S.S. Enterprise, and it's not that Federation. I don't think Gene Roddenberry was guilty of plagiarizing this idea - let's face it, there are only so many words you can use to describe a democratic political organization.

*** A hint for new readers of vintage science fiction:  if there is a character with a name like Gorr Holl, there's a really good chance that the story you are reading was written before 1960, if not 1950.

Not only that, but it's in Canadian dollars.

The Canadian Space Agency (CSA) recently launched its fourth astronaut recruitment campaign.

At the end of this recruitment campaign, two new Canadian astronauts will begin their training in the 2017 NASA astronaut class in Houston, Texas.

Do you have a university degree in science, engineering or medicine? Do you have at least three years of relevant professional experience, or are you licenced to practise medicine in Canada? Are you resourceful, determined, and cool, calm and collected? If so, you may be what the CSA is looking for!

- Canadian Space Agency astronaut recruitment site

Given that today is the anniversary of Neil Armstrong's first step onto the surface of the Moon, it seems appropriate to announce that Canada is looking to hire a couple of astronauts.

Be an Astronaut! Apply by 15 Aug or miss your chance to boldly go! https://t.co/0r43aIxv2n@WilliamShatner @csa_aschttps://t.co/spgOYxTn1D

— Chris Hadfield (@Cmdr_Hadfield) July 20, 2016

(My apologies, apparently they've been looking for applicants since June, and I missed Commander Hadfield's first Tweet on the subject.)

The Canadian Space Agency web site contains all the basic information that you might want before deciding to apply: qualifications, duties of an astronaut, selection process (it takes about a year to complete all the stages of recruitment) and, of course, the online application form.

Surprisingly, it's not the highest paying job in the world.  Novice cosmonauts start at $91K, with a potential  boost to $178K* after successfully completing a mission in space.  Considering the list of prerequisites and qualifications - and the fact that there's a certain amount of risk involved -  this doesn't seem like a lot of money.  On the other hand, there are some perks that come with the job:  just look at the view from your office...

I have to give the CSA full points for putting together a clever and well-thought-out promotional campaign.  This is just another reason that I think Canada is such a great country - it's difficult to imagine the United States government doing anything quite as casually smart and funny.

It's also a bit surprising to me that it's such an open invitation.  Admittedly, most people wouldn't match the list of qualifications, but that list isn't ridiculous or undoable. As pointed out in the introductory quotation, this is only the fourth time that the CSA has gone looking for astronauts, but it won't be the last.  If you're reading this in the same year it was posted, you've probably got about ten years to get ready for the next time - good luck!

- Sid

* To be completely accurate, $178,400.  I suspect this is a governmental pay grade thing - if it was up to me I would round it up to at least the nearest six figure digit.

But not too much bigger, because gravity.

There's a phrase I hear almost every day.

I always have the same reaction when I hear it.

I heard it again just now, from my office roommate Bill, and it's time to put my response in writing.

The phrase is:

It's a small world, isn't it?

Yes, yes it is.  And that's why the exploration of space is so important:

BIGGER WORLDS.

- Sid

"A cat has no food. A man must feed a cat."

When my lovely partner Karli moved in with me just over a year ago, she brought with her Cooper the cat, an elderly white Persian whose grim visage belied his warm and affectionate nature.  I was quite pleased to have Cooper as part of our little family - I had been without a feline roommate for several years, and Cooper and I bonded quickly and easily.  

Sadly, Time has its way with everyone, and about six weeks ago Cooper made his final visit to the veterinarian. It was a heartbreaking time for both Karli and I;  Karli in particular feeling more than a little depressed by the loss of her confidant and companion for over 18 years.

Because of Cooper's importance to both of us, we quickly became aware of the cat-shaped hole in our lives. Karli began looking at cats online, and we paid a couple of visits to the Vancouver SPCA Catfé, but we just weren't finding the right cat for us.  We knew we couldn't replace anyone as special and unique as Cooper, but we hoped to find a cat who would make his own place in our hearts.

Karli persevered in her online search, which led us to the Richmond SPCA at the end of June to meet a congenial six-year-old orange and white tabby.*  He had been brought in as a stray, and then taken by a family who had just returned him to the SPCA after a year of ownership, citing litter tray usage problems. In spite of this dubious entry on his resume, we decided that we would adopt the little guy, and returned to pick him up two days later (two days rather than one due to the branch's Canada Day closure.)

He was introduced to us as Oliver, and his previous name was Pumpkin, but somehow we didn't find either of those names to be a fit.  We made a list of possible names, debated them at length, but nothing really seemed to be working for us.

During one of our discussions, I referred to "the cat without a name".  Karli gave me a significant sideways look and quietly said, "A cat has no name."

 

Thanks to this well-timed misquotation from George R. R. Martin, I'm happy to introduce our new cat, known to the world as Jack, but whose full name is actually Jaqen H'ghar, named after the enigmatic face-changing third-person Braavosi assassin from Game of Thrones. In the books, Jaqen disappears after aiding Arya Stark, but the HBO adaptation offers him a larger role as a servant of the Many-Faced God in the House of Black and White.**

Jack (or Jaq) is a friendly, affectionate fellow who is well on his way to settling in with us (and hopefully getting used to his new name, not that cats care very much about that sort of thing.)

"If a girl should need a cat, a girl should roll this across a hardwood floor.
A cat will come if such a thing is done."

And his name - his full name, that is - makes perfect sense.  Cats are solidly behind the Braavosi philosophy of valar dohaeris: all men must serve.***

- Sid

* Looking for a cat?  Kittens are very cute, but consider getting an adult cat who has already learned the ins and outs of kitty litter and food dishes. Adult cats are also more likely to sleep on the bed with you rather than maniacally wrestle their own tail on your pillow at 3:00 AM.  (At least with any luck they are.)

** You may follow the theory that the man at the temple in Braavos is only wearing the face of Jaqen H'ghar. Personally, I prefer the way in which it streamlines the narrative if it's the same person, but to each their own.

*** Women too.  Cats are completely without sexism when it comes to service.

Or Amazing.

I was looking at the picture of Karli in the Borg regeneration alcove from our visit to the Star Trek exhibition at the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame in Seattle, and something about it reminded me of a classic pulp science fiction magazine cover...

 

I may do up an alternate version that's a little more distressed, I've never seen one of these covers without a few creases or scratches.

- Sid

"They like to get the landmarks."

For whatever reason, Canada is very rarely the victim of apocalyptic destruction in movies, television or novels. Granted, anything that wipes out the entire world will destroy Canada as well, but depending on the nature of the catastrophe, Canada is far more likely to be someplace where people seek refuge from the disaster rather than ground zero for it.*

As previously mentioned, I'm very aware of this gap in our cultural framework, so I was actually a bit pleased to see a transit shelter poster for Independence Day: Resurgence that featured a gigantic space ship hovering over a crumbling CN Tower.

"Perfect," I thought.  "I'm all set for a Canada Day posting, I'll just go home and find a good copy of that online."

Unexpectedly, the internet was not forthcoming.  This was a bit surprising, given that I could have easily downloaded a JPEG showing a similar view of Big Ben being destroyed, or the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty**, the Eiffel Tower, the Marina Sands Hotel in Singapore, Grant's Tomb  - even the Petronas Twin Towers from Kuala Lumpur - but not the CN Tower.  (Just for the record, the studio deliberately skipped the Gate of India in Mumbai.) If the poster didn't exist at all, I might have been less surprised, but given that it did exist, why would it not be posted online with the other versions?

Disappointed, I decided that I would just hop off the bus on the way home from work and take as good a picture of the ad as possible.

I was disappointed once again: within 36 hours of my original pass by the poster location, it was gone.  Feeling a bit frustrated, I continued home to broaden my search online in hopes that someone else had at least been able to get a snapshot of the Canadian marketing for Resurgence.

Now, just for the record, I'd like to say that I have pretty strong Google-fu.  I can often find things for people who have had absolutely no luck looking for something online.  Nonetheless, after an extensive search I was only able to find two pictures (and a half) of the alien destruction of Toronto's most visible tourist attraction.

I know that Resurgence isn't doing particularly well at the box office, and given the poor reviews I've read I was probably going to skip it, but now I feel a bit tempted to see the movie just to see if there actually is a scene showing the invaders tearing up the CN Tower by the roots, or if it was just a poorly supported blip in the movie's marketing plan.

If that scene is in the movie, 20th Century Fox's marketing people have obviously dropped the ball by not promoting it more widely in Vancouver.  After all, there are more than a few people in British Columbia who would be happy to see any movie with a scene, no matter how brief, showing Toronto being destroyed by aliens.

- Sid

* It's not difficult to imagine a future where climate change has boosted global temperatures to the point where the vast, almost uninhabited areas that make up the better part of our country become usable - in fact, perhaps even desirable - real estate.  Imagine sailing on the tropical blue waters of Hudson Bay as the palm trees lining the beaches near Churchill nod in the warm breeze...

** And a somewhat wistful poster showing a Unicorn Gundam in the same position, but with a defiantly upraised fist rather than a torch.

The couple that regenerates together, assimilates together.

Borg regeneration alcove at Star Trek: Exploring New Worlds - one size fits all.

- Sid

"Look at me...look at me...I'm the captain now."

Reproduction of Kirk's command chair at Star Trek: Exploring New Worlds.  As I said, I see my fictional alter ego as being a starship captain...

- Sid

"Star Trek is a language nearly everyone speaks."

 

For 50 years, Star Trek and its themes of optimism, equality and heroism have inspired people worldwide. 

Star Trek presents a positive future - a utopia without poverty or war. In that future, all of humanity has set aside their differences and joined together in an extraordinary task: to explore the stars, meeting every challenge with bravery and thoughtfulness. 

What began as a low-budget science fiction television show with modest ratings expanded into a franchise spanning seven television series, thirteen movies, and thousands of novels, comics and games. Star Trek has made a profound impact on our society.  Star Trek's ideas and memes are now so deeply embedded in the fabric of our popular culture that even people who have never seen it can name key characters and recite its catch phrases. Star Trek inspires art, science, architecture, music and literature. Star Trek is a language nearly everyone speaks.  

Brooks Peck, Curator - Star Trek: Exploring New Worlds

I recently discovered that, in honour of Star Trek’s 50th anniversary, the Science Fiction Museum in Seattle is hosting a retrospective exhibition on the Star Trek phenomenon, and its impact on the world. Accompanied (and chauffeured) by my tolerant* girlfriend Karli, we headed down to Washington state last weekend to take a look.

After checking into our hotel, we made our way to Frank Gehry’s multi-coloured architectural masterpiece, and forked over thirty bucks US each for admission to the museum in general and the Star Trek portion specifically.  Once inside, we passed on the opportunity for a $60 autograph from Brent Spiner** (or a $30 selfie) and made our way directly into the exhibition.

 

To be honest, I feel that if you’ve seen one display of artifacts from a franchise, you’ve pretty much seen all of them – I guess I’ve become jaded in my old age. It’s also a relatively small exhibition, considering the long history of the show and its spinoffs.

 

That being said, the exhibits are comprehensive, well arranged and well explained. There’s a good mix of photo ops and interactivity: a full range of starship filming models, a duplicate of Kirk’s command chair (and the original), an excellent touch-screen starship database, props and costumes from all parts of the franchise, a Borg regeneration alcove, a horizontal duplicate of a Jefferies Tube***, and a transporter set where visitors can act out a scene. (Sadly, we were stumped by the “KHAAAAAAAAN!” simulator - as were a lot of other people, as far as we could tell.)

There are some odd little surprises. The Borg cube, which I always thought was computer generated, turned out to be an astonishingly detailed model, and the signs of forcible disassembly with a blunt object are quite obvious in the seams of the bridge set pieces from the original series. (Although it was interesting to see the navigation console from the captain's perspective.)  

There also is a certain amount of tongue-in-cheek humour to the exhibition. The display booths are set against a background of fake orange rocks, very much in the style of those made famous by the original series, and random solitary tribbles punctuate the displays: perched on top of a divider, or nestled underneath the navigation console. 

Karli was completely taken aback by the unexpected prospect of Data’s severed head looking up at her through a sheet of plexiglass from a pit in the floor – I wonder how Brent Spiner felt about that particular nod to the Next Generation episode Time's Arrow?

The real key to the exhibition lies in the display on the upper level, which examines Star Trek's effect on society in general. The most impressive thing about Star Trek is its legacy - no other piece of popular entertainment has had the same kind of a sustained cultural impact that Star Trek has.

The mezzanine displays focus on that impact: artistic, scientific, architectural, and musical, and includes a multi-screen video presentation that examines the real-life influence that Star Trek had upon the world.  Scientists, astronauts, writers and actors discuss the manner in which the goals and ideals presented by Star Trek made a difference in people's lives.

As with all good science fiction, Star Trek shows us the future but comments on the present. The original series in particular offered the world a future in which many of the problems that plagued the Sixties no longer existed. Sequels and spinoffs have continued to look at contemporary problems to a greater or lesser extent, and Gene Roddenberry's original vision of a better world has show remarkable longevity.

(Although, let's be honest, it's difficult to place the Picardigan on the same level as Martin Luther King's request to Nichelle Nichols that she stay on the show in order to continue as a role model for black people.)

For me, the most interesting thing about Exploring New Worlds was not the exhibition itself, but the people attending it. There were fans taking pinup photos in the Jefferies tube, and people snapping pictures of a baby **** in the reproduction of Kirk's command chair - presumably the Next Generation of fan.

There were fans in costumes, fans in uniforms, fans in pointed ears, and one fan wearing a steampunk Star Trek gown. They posed as regenerating Borg, stood in line to stand in as actors in a transporter scene, and I saw one woman literally bounce up and down with joy when she saw the bridge set from the original series.

To quote a certain half-Vulcan science officer: "Fascinating."

- Sid

* And lovely.

** Denise Crosby was also on site for photo ops, but I 'm just more of a Data fan.  It was an interesting combination, though, considering that their characters were “intimate” in The Naked Now, an appropriately titled first season episode of The Next Generation.

*** I honestly had no idea that Jefferies Tubes were a mystery to the population at large, but apparently this is where we cross the line from well-known information - like phasers and transporters - into esoterica. Jefferies Tubes were the little tunnels used by engineering crewmembers to access various bits of the Enterprise’s infrastructure. If you ever saw Scotty lying in a cramped little space working desperately to fix something (usually the transporter) while smoke and sparks filled the foreground, he was in a Jefferies Tube. They’re named after Matt Jefferies, who designed the original U.S.S. Enterprise.

**** And then rushing to save him as he began to slowly topple over to one side.  Did Shatner ever do that?

"This is the action I've been waiting for!"

My friend Deb is a comic book character.

(You know, it says a lot about my life that this probably doesn't come as a surprise to anyone reading this posting.)

I'll let her husband Rob explain:

I wanted to let you know that I have created a comic book inspired by my wonderful wife, Deb. It's called Deborah Daring, The Private Eye With Attitude! Her comic book alter ego is a paralegal by day and an intrepid private investigator by night. 

I used to draw quite a bit and this all started with me drawing Deb as a super hero. The idea took hold of me and I decided to turn the character into a full blown comic book. While I did the initial concept drawings and all the writing, I ended up having to hire a professional comic book artist to help me complete the book. It was a lot of work and a ton of fun creating this comic and now it's time to share it with the world!

I decided to use the crowd funding website Kickstarter to help me raise the funds for printing and distributing the book, and the campaign is now live! So I encourage you to click on the link below and take a look. If you like what you see, or at least want to support my creative effort, please back my campaign by submitting a pledge. There are various pledge levels you can contribute ($3 and up) and every pledge counts! You can also check out a website I created for Deborah Daring, as well as a Facebook page.

Website: http://www.deborahdaring.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborahdaring/

Thanks in advance for your support! And if you know any comic book fans, forward the link to them and spread the word! Send any feedback or questions to info@deborahdaring.com 

Cheers,

Rob

If you'd like to support Deb's future as a PDF private eye, you have until the end of the month to contribute:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1802652009/deborah-daring-the-private-eye-with-attitude-1st-i

Now personally, I see my comic book character as more science-fictiony, maybe a bridge officer on a mission of interstellar exploration...after all, there's an awful lot of precedent for having a bald starship captain.

- Sid

Math homework.

There have always been people in the fan community whose commitment was so complete that they were compelled to determine the validity of the science portion of science fiction - to do things like calculate whether or not the U.S.S. Enterprise actually could travel the 16.5 light years from Earth to 40 Eridani A in four days* and so on.  

For the most part, I haven't been one of those people. I generally give most scientific questions the benefit of the doubt, or attribute any possible discrepancies to creative license.  However, I recently ran across the following paragraph in the David Weber/Steve White military SF collaboration In Death Ground, and it made me just a little curious - it was just a bit too glib:

"Fifteen light-seconds," Trang reported. "Coming into - missile launch! Multiple hostile launches! One hundred twenty plus inbound. Impact in two-seven seconds from mark!"

Okay, let's do some math.  They're fifteen light seconds away from the ships launching the missiles. Light travels 299,792 kilometers in one second, so that's 4,496,880 kilometers.**  Average speed or velocity (v) is calculated by dividing displacement*** (Δx or x) by time (t) , which gives us a result of 166,551 kilometers/second, which kind of makes sense if you just roughly calculate it - 15 light seconds, 27 seconds travel time, so a little bit faster than half the speed of light.

 However, that's the average velocity - obviously if you start at zero k/s, you need to accelerate to a higher speed to cover that distance in the same rate as if you had hit the ground running, so to speak. Thanks again to Google™, we find that acceleration (a) = 2x/t² - 2v0/t, which gives us a constant acceleration of 12,337,119 m/s² squared  (v0 is starting velocity, which in this case is presumably zero - or perhaps a negative value, the starships in question are retreating from their missile-launching enemy).

Final velocity of 333,102.213 km/s - hang on, that's faster than the speed of light, and the book is clear that the tech base for Mr. Trang's space navy doesn't include FTL travel.  But this sort of makes sense as a number, obviously your speed at some point has to be higher than the average speed in order to compensate for the fact that you started from zero.

I wasn't completely confident in my results, so I sought out our resident numbers guy, Andrew.  (Andrew was hired as a business analyst, but the manipulation of statistics and information is a large part of that, so Andrew is often pulled into discussions regarding math.)

To my astonishment, after I explained the question, he went to the white board in his office and produced the following off the top of his head:

Well, now I know why we hired Andrew.

Ultimately, the moral of the story is that the authors might not have done full due diligence on their math. (Or maybe their drive technology has a very steep acceleration curve.) For me, the real joke is that the missiles are supposed to explode when they hit their target.  I'm reasonably certain that if a multi-tonne projectile hits a starship while travelling at the speed of light, an explosion would be redundant. I'll leave it to the curious reader to calculate the amount of energy that would result from such an impact - just leave your answers as comments.  The actual weight of the missiles doesn't appear in the book anywhere to the best of my knowledge, so feel free to make your own estimate as to an appropriate weight for a weapon of this sort****.  Good luck - and please show your work.

- Sid

* 40 Eridani A is generally considered to be the location of Vulcan. This is one of those things that was never clearly defined in the original series, but when science fiction author James Blish was hired to turn the episodes into short stories for the purposes of novelization, he chose 40 Eridani A as being a likely candidate based on its distance from Earth, and over time this has become accepted as canon.

 ** To give you some perspective on that number, the Moon at its furthest from earth is 405,696 kilometers away, so eleven times as far as the Moon.

***AKA distance if you're not a mathematician.

**** As a guideline, a fully loaded F16 Falcon fighter weighs in at about 21 metric tonnes.

EDIT:  Sadly I've had to close down Comments for this posting, I've had one very enthusiastic but somewhat non-linear commenter who is just getting further and further away from the actual topic at hand.  My apologies, Tonyon.
 

Gnomic Statement XIV.

 We never did have a chance to see what colour coat the driver was wearing.

- Sid

P.S.  We followed this vehicle through the U.S. border crossing, and the driving was quite good - like a leaf on the wind...

DON'T PANIC!

 

In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. 

First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.

Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

May 24th marks the fifteenth anniversary of Towel Day, the annual tribute to the memory of Douglas Adams, author of the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.  I've been on and off in my recognition of the day - mostly off this time, I didn't bother to carry the mandatory towel to work with me today, although I did check in at towel.org to see how the rest of the community had celebrated the day.

There was a surprising* (and gratifying)  amount of media attention in addition to the wide array of fan activities, but if there is a prize for the most appropriate event, it would have to go to the Royal Institution of Great Britain** and European Space Agency astronaut Tim Peake, currently serving on the International Space Station:

When we had a chance to send something up to @astro_timpeake on the ISS, this is what we sent. Happy #TowelDay! pic.twitter.com/9QOFshn9Sv

— Ri_Science (@Ri_Science) May 25, 2016

I think that Mr. Adams would heartily approve.  Beat that, NASA.

- Sid

P.S.  If someone reading this knows how to center an embedded Twitter™ posting, please let me know.

* For the most part, May the 4th generally gets a lot more action in the press.

** In some ways the British equivalent of The Planetary Society, but with a broader scientific mandate.

Return of the Attack of the Weregeek.

 

This morning, my co-workers and I were galvanized by a shriek of panic from Kate, the administrative assistant who works at our reception area.  Everyone within earshot - which was actually just everyone, it was pretty loud shriek - rushed to her desk in order to help with whatever issue had caused Kate to start screaming.

As it turned out, Kate had seen an insect on her desk.  She said that it was a centipede, but added that it was huge - "Like Godzilla!"

Unfortunately, as previously established, this sort of comment often gets a reaction from me which may not be exactly what the commenter is expecting.

"Well, no, not Godzilla, Godzilla was a lizard."

"Hmmmm....it wouldn't be Gidrah or Rodan, they could fly, and were also sort of lizards.  Mothra was a giant insect, but obviously more of a giant moth than a centipede.  Gosh, I'm certain that Godzilla must have fought a giant centipede at some point, but I cannot for the life of me bring a picture of it to my mind.  I'm sorry, Kate, I'll have to do some research and get back to you."

Leaving our department head Peter courageously searching the top of Kate's desk, I returned to my workstation, where a rapid* Google search revealed that my memory is either better or worse than I thought.  As I thought, none of the celluloid incarnations of Japan's favourite giant lizard ever fought a centipede monster, but that wasn't the only option when searching for Godzilla's foes.

There was also a short-lived spinoff animated series based on the unfortunate** 1998 Roland Emmerich film which starred Matthew Broderick (and Godzilla). Godzilla: The Series was based on the idea that one of Godzilla's monstrous hatchlings had survived the events of the movie, and imprinted on Broderick's character - perhaps because of residual pheromones from his close encounter with Godzilla's saliva in the movie, I don't completely remember the details. (In my defense, it's been almost 20 years since I last watched the series.)

In Metamorphosis, the ninth episode of Season TWO of G:TS, Godzilla Junior did in fact cross paths with a giant centipede named Megapede.  Using this as a guide, I did a quick image search, and found a few pictures of the many-legged menace.

At this point, Kate, somewhat recovered from her ordeal, approached my desk with a question about digital letterhead.  I showed her the picture that starts this posting and explained that it was a picture of Megapede.

"Yes, that is absolutely what I saw - and Megapede, that's exactly the right name.  Thank you very much!!"

And she returned to her desk, which under the circumstances demonstrated remarkable courage.  If that thing was still lumbering around on my desk and made another appearance, I would probably scream much, much louder than she did.

- Sid

* We're on company time, after all.

** Full confession:  I actually kind of like the 1998 version of Godzilla.  I fully admit that Matthew Broderick really doesn't carry the movie, but the supporting actors cheerfully cast aside any desire to take the film seriously and do everything but chew the scenery in order to help move things forward.  (Jean Reno's Elvis Presley imitation is particularly memorable.)  Not only that, but I thought that the FX team did a good job of envisioning what an actual giant mutant lizard might look like, rather than a rather obvious man in a rubber suit.***

*** When the movie first came out, I commented favourably on the CGI version of Godzilla to my friend Alan, who immediately announced that he preferred a man in a rubber suit.  I gravely promised not to quote him out of context, although I've been tempted more than once over the intervening years.

Bill Nye 3: Planetary.

 Space exploration brings out the best in us. It is inherently optimistic.

- Bill Nye

I think that it's safe to say that an interest in space exploration is common among science fiction fans.  It's not really the same as what we've been reading about, but it's obvious that the global space initiative responsible for things like the International Space Station represents the first steps toward a future where we explore - and perhaps inhabit - more and more of our solar system.*  However, it's more of a spectator sport than anything else, after all, there's not a lot one person can do to move the process forward.

Or at least that's what I would have said until last month, when I found out about the Planetary Society.

The Planetary Society was founded in 1980 by science spokesmen Carl Sagan, Bruce Murray, and Louis Friedman, with the intent of creating an organization that would allow the general public to become more involved in the exploration of space in two ways:  by giving it a voice for advocacy, and by offering opportunities for education and participation.

The Society now has over 40,000 members around the world, making it the largest and most influential public space organization group on Earth - if not the solar system.  Bill Nye is the current CEO, and the Board of Directors and Advisory Council is made up of a Who's Who of space exploration, investigation and advocacy such as Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin, science fiction author David Brin, Quirks & Quarks host (and fellow Canadian) Bob McDonald, scientist and SETI president Frank Drake, actor Robert Picardo, Hayden Planetarium Director and astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, and a host of others, united by a shared commitment to expand humanity's horizons.

I'm proud to say that I'm now literally a card-carrying**  member of the Planetary Society.  The annual membership fee is about $60 CAD, which struck me as a reasonable investment to make in helping to promote our future in space.

Let's face it, sooner or later you have to put your money where your mouth is.

http://planetary.org/

- Sid

* We're progressing toward that future either very quickly or ridiculously slowly, depending on whether you start the clock with Yuri Gagarin or Lucy (the 3.2 million year old fossil Australopithecus, that is, not Charlie Brown's nemesis).

** I got a nice T-shirt, too.