Everywhere and forever?

I'm in full countdown mode for my vacation, with only four and a half days to go before I fly to England.  One of the things on my to-do list was my online check-in for the Mediterranean cruise, which I needed to finish this week so that I could print the results.

Part of the check-in process required my agreement to a lengthy contract detailing the various responsibilities, regulations and liabilities for both the shipping line and the passengers.  This contract contains the following clause - please note the section in bold:

13. USE OF PHOTOS, VIDEOS OR RECORDINGS:
Guest hereby grants to Carrier (and its assignees and licensees) the exclusive right throughout the universe and in perpetuity to include photographic, video, audio and other visual or audio portrayals of Passenger taken during or in connection with the Cruise or CruiseTour (including any images, likenesses or voices) in any medium of any nature whatsoever (including the right to edit, combine with other materials or create any type of derivative thereof) for the purpose of trade, advertising, sales, publicity, promotional, training or otherwise, without compensation to the Guest. 

"Throughout the universe and in perpetuity"?  Wow, obviously Royal Caribbean is in for the long haul with this cruise business thing.  I'm left with this odd mental image of eight-armed aliens on Tau Ceti Five a thousand years from now, thoughtfully flipping through a cruise brochure that's ornamented with a picture of my smiling face as I enjoy the various amenities available on the ship. "Hmmm...you know, this bald bearded biped appears to be enjoying himself - pack your bags, honey, we're going to Earth!"

- Sid

"You never know". Or do you?

I’ll get trip insurance in case Europe collapses before we embark on our cruise. You never know.

- Laurie Smith, February 2011

Now, admittedly, the rioting in England has died down (although there are still incidents of looting on a much smaller, almost personalized scale - boutique looting, if you will); regardless, some kind of recognition is due to Laurie for her prescient comments from February about travel insurance, now that I'm flying to England to start my vacation in less than a week. Hmmm…psychic ability? Time travel? Either way, Laurie, if there's anything else you'd like to mention - alien invasions, giant sea monsters in the Mediterranean, the return of the Mummy, anything - now is the time (no pun intended).

- Sid

P.S. Come to think of it, I might deserve a minor shout-out for my observations about planning riots through social media.  Apparently Facebook, Twitter and BlackBerry Messenger were key elements in the planning and execution of the violence in London.

THIS is a science fiction shark - see the difference?

Ah, I see that the Space Channel is showing Jaws tonight, look at that!

Sigh...okay...I'm only going to say this once...

HEY!!!!   SPACE CHANNEL!!!  JAWS IS NOT A SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE!!  A MOVIE ABOUT A BIG SHARK THAT EATS PEOPLE IS NOT SCIENCE FICTION!!!! 
  
QUESTIONS?  

NO?  

GOOD!!  DON'T MAKE THIS MISTAKE AGAIN!!

- Sid

August 14th update:  goddamnit, it's even in their pre-movie lead-in!  Am I missing something here?  Does Captain Quint suggest that the shark is a mutant, or something?

Illustration by Canadian illustrator Jesse McGibs