Disneyland I: The Happiest Place on Earth.

The clear morning sky is the sort of pure cerulean blue that you only see in video games or in California.  In front of us, the bronze statue of a smiling man gestures to the azure horizon as if explaining his vision of the future to the attentive waist-high cartoon mouse who holds his other hand.  A laughing little girl with a bubble wand adds an unexpected touch of whimsy to the passing crowd, which is too intent on planning a day of fun and excitement to do more than just notice the partners on the pedestal. Nearby, an unscripted pigeon wanders across the immaculate pavement in a futile search for even a crumb of discarded food which has been missed by the grounds staff.

Welcome to Disneyland - the happiest place on earth.

And, to be honest, it is pretty happy.  I completely enjoyed our three-day visit to Disneyland and its sister location, California Adventure - it was a lot of fun, more fun than I had expected, to be honest.  My childhood didn't include anything even remotely similar to Walt Disney's sprawling 156 acre extravaganza, and I really didn't know what it would be like.

I found that it engaged me on two levels:  on one hand, I was simply entertained and amused. Disneyland offers all of the pleasures of any amusement park, plus its signature experience-oriented adventures, and I was unexpectedly charmed by the classic animated movie rides. On the other hand, I was fascinated by the park itself, by the degree of artifice and imagination that has gone into the creation of both the attractions and the framework in which the Disney imagineers have placed them.

Disneyland draws upon only a portion of the epic library of source material available to its parent company to create this experience. In addition to the traditional fairy-tale content such as Snow White or Pinnochio which characterized Disney's early years, and its more modern animated offerings such as Dumbo, Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland, Disneyland is able to find inspiration in acquired properties ranging from the Muppets to Marvel Comics, and from Pixar to Lucasfilm.

However, there's an unexpected sort of Darwinian struggle evident at the park, where only the fittest - or most popular - survive. Fame is fleeting at Disneyland:  Space Mountain morphs into Hyperspace Mountain, Muppet Vision 3-D is pushed out by Frozen Live, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience is replaced by Star Tours, a Star Wars based 3-D adventure, and Tower of Terror is currently being rebuilt with a Guardians of the Galaxy theme.

On the other hand, it's not all about the latest and greatest. In addition to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Karli and I visited a number of the older rides such as Snow White's Scary Adventures, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Peter Pan's Flight, and, of course, "It's a Small World", all of which more than demonstrate their popularity by the length of their lineups.*

 

To my surprise, many of these classic Disneyland rides aren't really what I would consider to be "rides" as such.  Whereas many of the attractions at Disneyland and the California Adventure draw upon the traditional amusement park catalogue of ferris wheels, merry-go-rounds, roller coasters and so on, there is also a wide selection of what could be classified as primitive immersive environments, where the riders pass through the plot of a movie presented as a series of animated tableaux.

Although the older, simple rides remain popular (possibly because of their complete friendliness to all ages and physical capabilities) Disneyland has not rested on its laurels over time.  In fact, it would be possible to work your way through the rides chronologically and observe the increasingly more sophisticated techniques being used to enhance the experience.

The 1995 Indiana Jones adventure, Temple of the Forbidden Eye, is a good example of the results of this evolutionary process.  The entire ride is over 50,000 square feet in size and cost $100 million to construct, taking over seven years from conception to completion.

It takes place in the bowels of a massive temple complex - riders actually walk through close to half a mile of meticulously detailed passageways to reach the boarding point of the ride. Once there, they climb onto simulator motion platforms disguised as all-terrain transport vehicles to travel through the temple.

Riders then experience a combination of forward motion, which takes them through an environment featuring smoke, flames, and (of course) giant stone globes, and extreme motion platform effects, which exaggerates the rider experience without having to make the track physically match the range of convolutions and twists programmed into the platform.

The cumulative effect is a complete success - Karli and I went through the Temple three times, and would undoubtedly have done more return visits if time had allowed.  

The 2012 debut of Radiator Springs Racers raised the ante, with six acres of vivid desert scenery recreated from Cars at a cost of more than $200 million, making it the most expensive attraction constructed by Disney. The incredible backdrop of Ornament Valley rears hundreds of feet into the sky, and also features underground caverns filled with animatronic characters from the movie.

 

But where does Disney go from there?  What's the next step in this process?

Personally, I was surprised to see the number of other adult couples that were visiting the park without children, which indicates that the phenomenon of the Magic Kingdom has an appeal which extends beyond the stroller demographic. One has to wonder if Disney has ever considered widening their scope to include more mature themes. Imagine if the imagineers focused their skill with epic landscapes and believable animatronic characters on a park that featured more adult content - perhaps making the leap to elements of violence, or possibly even sex.

Maybe something with a western theme...

- Sid

* Lineups are the price of doing business when you visit Disneyland, a necessary evil caused by thousands of people wanting to visit a limited number of venues.  Disney recognizes that this is a negative aspect of the park experience, and does everything they can to minimize the effect.  The lineup environment is referred to as "Scene Zero" of a ride, and as such the waiting areas feature animatronic characters, videos, and set dressing, all intended to entertain (and distract) guests standing patiently in queue.

 

Newer attractions are also constructed to stage out the lineup process so that it takes place at different locations - a twenty minute wait will involve five minutes at the entrance, ten in the middle, and five at the ride itself.  In addition, there's a Fastpass system that allows ticket holders to reserve seats on popular rides during a set range of times.

Ultimately, though, there are times when you just have to stand and wait. Karli and I visited during one of the slowest times at the park, and as such rarely had to wait longer than ten or twenty minutes to board a ride. Peak times can involve lineups of 90 minutes  - or longer.

Ukulele lessons.

blog (bläɡ/) noun: blog; plural noun: blogs

1. A regularly updated website or web page, typically one run by an individual or small group, that is written in an informal or conversational style.

Today marks the tenth anniversary of my first posting on The Infinite Revolution.  Since then, I've posted a total of 637 short pieces featuring my thoughts on science fiction, fantasy, and the supernatural.  I've talked about science, spaceships, giant Japanese robots, movies, comic books, cosplay, interplanetary voyages, visits to bookstores in foreign cities, zombies, artificial intelligence, space exploration, video games, ghosts, time travel, Canada, Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Great Cthulhu, Conan the Barbarian, Hugo Gernsback, psychotic belly button fans, and whatever else has caught my passing fancy and seemed worth writing a couple of paragraphs about.

Acquaintances who discover my blog are often surprised that someone would actually do that - write for fun - and it is fun for me, even after ten years.  Sadly, the fun has been somewhat adulterated over time by a sense of pressure to produce:  if I don't post for a few weeks, I start to feel that I'm somehow behind, and I begin to stress about finishing topical postings so that I can move on to other content which is closer to completion.  (As an example, this piece is pushing back a half-finished post on Disneyland.)

The odd thing about this is that, really, there is no pressure - it's purely a hobby, and pending Bill Gates paying me to do this, it makes not one bit of difference in the world whether I regularly post something or not.

Nonetheless, I put a lot of thought and consideration into the postings. The final paragraphs are the most challenging, because for me, that's the punchline.  If I can't come up with a clever ending, I feel that I've somehow failed, even if the rest of the posting feels well-written and interesting. The titles are equally challenging, but more fun - I try to use as many obscure genre references as possible.

I actually first started talking about doing something like TIR in about 1992 - it's a testament to my archiving process that I still have the first version of the logo that I designed for the site, as seen at the top of page.  (Please note that my initial usage of the atomic structure graphic predates The Big Bang Theory logo by 15 years - and that's the only part that survived from the logo, as my end mark.  I also experienced a change in demonstrative adjective from "an" to "the" when I did finally start the site.)

At the time, I pictured it as more of a resource-oriented web site, with author profiles and bibliographies and so on, but one of my co-workers commented that it sounded more like a blog to him.  I nodded gravely, then crept away and looked up "blog" online.

At the time, nothing came of it. I was incredibly busy with work, a condition which continued for more or less the next decade, and I really didn't have a clear idea of how I would actually go about turning my idea into a real thing.  However, when my friend Colin started his blog, it demonstrated to me just how simple and straightforward it would be to create, update and maintain something like what I had imagined. (Full points to Blogger™ for having set up a system which allows for such easy site creation and maintenance - although I live in fear that they'll start charging for the privilege.)

To my complete surprise, this site has also become a significant part of my social life.  I have conversations that end up here, and I write things here that then become part of conversations, and I have to send links to people so that they get the whole story - it's a vicious circle.

Even more surprisingly,  I seem to have established ownership of the brand.  A Google search for "the infinite revolution" returns over fifty million results - and my little blog is the first on the list.

However, I have sometimes wondered how long it will keep going - how strong is my commitment?  As an illustration to the question, when I first started dating Karli, she had been taking ukulele lessons for some time. Not long after our first date, someone asked Karli how her lessons were going.

"What ukulele lessons?" she replied.  "I have a boyfriend now."

As a result, "ukulele lessons" has become a euphemism in conversations between Karli and I for the things you do to fill the time when you don't have anyone important with whom to share your life. Initially I was concerned that my relationship with Karli would displace blogging, and that The Infinite Revolution would just fade away along with her interest in the uke.

I'm pleased to say that this didn't turn out to be the case. Over the past two years, I've more or less maintained my level of output, and it would appear that TIR isn't a ukulele lesson after all. In fact, Karli has even contributed to the site, which I think clearly demonstrates that it HAS to be love.

At the exact moment that I cut and paste the number, The Infinite Revolution has had a total of 211,830 visitors - roughly the population of Regina*. I realize that a lot of that readership is web bots, crawlers, spiders and spammers, but I'd like to think that at least some portion of that number is actual human beings who stumbled across the blog for whatever reason, in addition to the people who read it because they know me personally.

If you do represent one of those 211,830 visits to the site, I'd like to thank you very much for your interest - even if you just looked at the picture of cosplayer Jessica Nigri in an armoured bikini and then moved on.

- Sid

* For non-Canadian readers unfamiliar with the Jewel of Saskatchewan, you can substitute either Akron, Ohio or Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This.

As discussed in my previous post, the titular role in Doctor Who is up for grabs yet again, and I'm pleased to say that the current front-runner with the bookies* is female:  Tilda Swinton, with odds of 7:2 in her favour.   Other female favourites are Olivia Colman (5:1, but a Doctor Who veteran, which may work against her), Maxine Peake at 8:1, Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Who? 12:1, regardless) and the intriguing long shot of Gwendoline Christie at 20:1.

No ill will, but I actually don't want Ms. Swinton to get the part. She's certainly a talented actress with lots of genre credibility, but I feel that every time someone wants to cast an unusual female character, her name is the first one on the list, and it would be interesting to look past that sort of obvious casting choice. I also can't help but feel that her performance would be somewhat predictable - again, no ill will, but having seen her in a number of roles, she does tend toward a somewhat uniform delivery.

So let's think outside the box for a minute. Scottish actors have been popular, and of course we want the person playing the Doctor to have a strong personality.  A couple of the actresses on the list have a touch of androgynous appeal to their look, and there's some feeling that the Doctor should have a certain maturity - Helen Mirren isn't on the odds sheet, but her name has come up in the past as an ideal candidate for the first female Doctor.

Our survey says?  Annie Lennox.

Yes, I know, not an actress as such, but think about it!  I mean, just look at that face, that fabulous combination of humour, strength, experience and insight.  And she's overtly Scottish, what a fun piece of continuity.  I can easily imagine what her Doctor would be like, a far more restrained and low-key presentation than Smith or Capaldi, but with hidden depth and passion - earnest, committed, caring, and powerful.

Do I expect her to get the role?  Of course not, I sincerely doubt that the BBC has even momentarily considered scheduling Annie Lennox for an audition. The purpose of this exercise is simply to demonstrate that an unexpected replacement for Peter Capaldi might well bring a new dimension to the part.  Hopefully new show-runner Chris Chibnall will be equally willing to consider the benefits of a surprising choice when the time comes.

- Sid

* Odds are courtesy of The Independent.  For a full list of candidates and their chances, visit their web site.  I have no idea where you would place your wagers, but, as per the BC Lottery Corporation, The Infinite Revolution requests that you gamble responsibly.

The Woman Who Lived.

Peter Capaldi has announced his planned departure from Doctor Who following the 2017 Christmas special, and once again, the debate is on: whether or not his replacement will be a woman, whether it should be a woman, and what woman it should be.

Blah, blah, blah.

Every time the role of the Doctor has been recast since the revival in 2005, everyone says that it's long overdue for the Doctor to regenerate as a woman, then a man is cast for the role anyway, and we're done for another couple of years.

I don't deny that the time seems right. The show itself had laid the foundations for the switch: the Master's female regeneration, plus that of the General in 2015's Hell Bent, have clearly demonstrated that regeneration can result in a change of gender*.

There is apparently some bias in the process: the regenerated General comments: "Oh, back to normal, am I? The only time I've been a man, that last body. Dear Lord, how do you cope with all that ego?", but in spite of that conditional statement, the door has certainly been opened for the next regeneration to result in a female Doctor.

Michelle Gomez's brilliant turn as Missy has wonderfully demonstrated that a change in sex is not a liability for a Time Lord (or perhaps Lady).  Her version of the Master is certainly feminine, but it is not one bit less evil and dangerous than her predecessors, and she has added an edge of instability and insanity to the role which has only improved it.  One could only hope that a matching change in the Doctor would extend the character's depth in a similar fashion.

Regardless of whether or not this is the ideal time for this change to happen, I'm not certain that people have really looked past that moment of decision to the inevitable consequences, so here's my message to the people behind Doctor Who.

This is a great opportunity, but it's also an immense challenge. The instant that you do decide that a woman will be the next Doctor, you will be walking a tightrope, and you will not be permitted to make any mistakes. Everything you do  - EVERYTHING - will be subject to an exacting scrutiny far beyond the spotlight which is normally focused on the show when the lead role changes.

And the first time you have the female Doctor say something that doesn't ring true, the first time that you let some unfortunate cliché about being a woman sneak through, the first time you substitute cleavage for cunning in the Doctor's strategy, you will have failed, and you will suffer for it.  People who have previously never even heard of Doctor Who will descend upon you in punishment like a plague from the Old Testament, and it might even prove to be fatal for the show itself.

So, to summarize:  yes, it's time for the Doctor to be a woman.  Don't screw it up - or else.

- Sid

* And race, which was equally provocative. 

"If you believed, they put a man on the moon, man on the moon".

It's not always easy to be in a relationship with a geek, but I have to say that Karli has been an accommodating and flexible partner, one who has been more than willing to participate in things like visits to the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame in Seattle or side trips to photograph giant robots in Japan.

However, I was a little apprehensive when I suggested that I was interested in going to see ex-astronaut Chris Hadfield perform with the Victoria Symphony at the end of March. It somehow struck me as being above and beyond the call of duty to expect that she would be interested in joining me.  To my extreme pleasure, she instantly expressed her eagerness for a weekend away on Vancouver Island that would culminate in attending Commander Hadfield's symphonic performance.  Tickets have been purchased, hotel reservations made, and we're looking forward to a fun little getaway next month.

All that being said, I'm a little curious as to the actual content of the show.  Presumably it will highlight songs from his 12-cut album, Songs from a Tin Can, but even with an orchestral backup, that's only about 40 minutes, and the performance is slated to run from 8-10 pm.

The description of the event says that Commander Hadfield "will be singing, playing his guitar and telling stories about his time as an astronaut and is joined by the VS performing space-themed music."  "Space-themed music" certainly opens the door to a wide variety of fairly epic Hollywood movie scores for the orchestra - John Williams' Star Wars theme, Thus Spake Zarathustra from 2001, and so on - but I wonder if Chris Hadfield covers any pop songs other than the well-known version of David Bowie's Space Oddity that he recorded on the International Space Station?

Even if the show is called Rocket Man, it would be a very confident person* who would perform that particular Elton John hit with the spectre of William Shatner's version looming in the background.  Deep Purple's Space Truckin' really isn't Hadfield's style, and Peter Schilling's Major Tom seems a bit derivative after covering Bowie.  Bif Naked's Spaceman?  Cygnus X-1 by Rush?**  I think I've seen a video of a Hadfield version of the Beatles' Across the Universe, so that's probably part of his non-album repertoire.

Probably not Man on the Moon by REM, though - I don't think that a retired astronaut would approve of the chorus.

- Sid
 

* On the other hand, based on all evidence I think it's safe to say that Chris Hadfield would classify as a very confident person, so who knows.

** Do people actually cover Rush? I'm sure that there are several tribute bands working their way through small town bars in Northern Ontario, but it's difficult to imagine, say, Adele deciding to reinterpret Spirit of Radio for her next album.

Geekmas 2016: The System Works.

This seems a little harsh....

A somewhat delayed wrap-up (no pun intended) to the 2016 holiday season this year, due to equally delayed shipping for a couple of my seasonal gifts. However, shipping glitches aside, I have to say that this year was one of the most successful in terms of people reading the wish list that I had posted here, and then following through on the suggestions. (Many additional thank-yous to my girlfriend* Karli for managing this process via her blog and ensuring that there was no duplication in selecting gifts from the list.)

On the other side of the coin, it was also most definitely the least successful year for shipping as well. As it turned out, the quondam Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame (now MoPop) doesn't ship outside of the United States, which immediately took the Star Trek movie posters out of contention as possible gifts. (How strange that an institution that deals with themes involving all of time and space would refuse to ship to Canada.)  Alternative Star Trek posters didn't trickle in until early January.  I also ended up with two copies of Naomi Novik's Uprooted just because my benefactor received two of them, for whatever reason.

However, the most impressive shipping gaffe involves my workplace gift exchange. I received an IOU from my Secret Santa (AKA my office mate Bill), who was mortified by the absence of a shipment containing my presents as the 25th drew near. As January wore on, he became increasingly embarrassed by this continued lack of fulfillment.  He harassed the shippers, terrorized his postie, and finally arranged for the order to be re-sent.  Shortly after that, a package arrived on his doorstep, almost a full month after Christmas and almost two months after his original order - with a postal label that explained everything. (Well, the delay at least.)

I think that if a package leaves Connecticut with Vancouver as its destination, Sweden is probably the long way round, even by the convoluted standards of international postal shipping.  Now let's see if the replacement shipment takes the same route.

Once everything was in hand, it was certainly an impressive haul:  in addition to Uprooted, I received Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace, Ian McDonald's Luna: New Moon, and Karen Memory by Elizabeth Bear, which reads surprisingly like a well-written fan entry into Cherie Priest's American steampunk Clockwork Century series.

On the video side, three excellent episodes of Doctor Who - The King's Demons, with Peter Davison, Tom Baker in The Stones of Blood, and The Moonbase, a fascinating partial Patrick Troughton episode with existing audio only for two of the chapters, and the missing video filled in with animation. Part of Bill's gift was a beautifully transferred Blu-ray edition of The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Karli gave me a long desired copy of The Day of the Triffids**.  Amazon.ca gift cards allowed me to purchase the entire run of Star Trek: The Original Series on Blu-ray, along with Star Trek: Beyond and X-Men: Apocalyse in digital and Blu-ray formats.

 

The most unexpected choice from my list would be the Halo UNSC M6 blaster, which I included on a whim but never expected to receive. It's surprisingly well made for a child's toy, and feels sturdy and nicely sized for an adult grip. But forget using it on Jaq the Cat, I'd be reluctant to aim this thing at a person - it's rated to shoot the supplied rubber-tipped darts 70 feet, which means that it has quite a punch in the ten to fifteen foot range. All in all, a much appreciated addition to my science fiction armoury - thanks, Karli!  And thanks to everyone else who read my list of suggestions, and followed through so considerately and generously.

Damn...now I have to come up with a new list...

- Sid
 

* My gorgeous girlfriend Karli, to be completely accurate.

** Full disclosure:  as far as I can tell, there's only one extant DVD or Blu-ray edition of this movie, and to be honest, it's not a fabulous transfer.  Which doesn't make me any less pleased to have received it, but it's sad that they didn't do a better job.

"Fine and strong and simple."

Glancing back, they saw a small cloud of dust, with a dark centre of energy, advancing on them at incredible speed, while from out the dust a faint ‘Poop-poop!’ wailed like an uneasy animal in pain. Hardly regarding it, they turned to resume their conversation, when in an instant (as it seemed) the peaceful scene was changed, and with a blast of wind and a whirl of sound that made them jump for the nearest ditch, It was on them! The ‘Poop-poop’ rang with a brazen shout in their ears, they had a moment’s glimpse of an interior of glittering plate-glass and rich morocco, and the magnificent motor-car, immense, breath-snatching, passionate, with its pilot tense and hugging his wheel, possessed all earth and air for the fraction of a second, flung an enveloping cloud of dust that blinded and enwrapped them utterly, and then dwindled to a speck in the far distance, changed back into a droning bee once more.

Toad sat straight down in the middle of the dusty road, his legs stretched out before him, and stared fixedly in the direction of the disappearing motor-car. He breathed short, his face wore a placid satisfied expression, and at intervals he faintly murmured ‘Poop-poop!’ .

Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows 

Karli and I are currently in the final stages of tactical planning for a trip to Disneyland for her birthday next week.  As part of the process, Karli has been going through the various rides, attractions and activities available at the park and dividing them up based on the following criteria: things that she really wants to do; things we could do; and things which fall below the threshold of interest* for adults.

This list is not as self-evident as it would seem - there are some entries in the first category which many people might well consider to belong solidly in the third group.  However, Karli has a strongly nostalgic bias for our visit to Anaheim, and as such there are activities that she wants to do based on her youthful memories of them rather than their adult appeal. (Which in my mind is a completely valid approach -I'm a big fan of reliving childhood.)

One of the selections which came up as part of this process was Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, which premiered at the park's opening in 1955 but received a facelift in 1983. When it was suggested as a preference, my first question was, "Does it go 'poop poop'?"

Karli lowered her iPad Mini and looked at me quizzically.

"Does it what?"

"Go 'poop poop'."

"Why in the world would it go poop poop?"

At this point, I went to the bookcase and pulled out my worn copy of The Wind in the Willows for a brief dissertation on the foundations of Toad's ill-fated obsession with motor cars, as seen in the opening quote.

Written by British author Kenneth Grahame in 1908, The Wind in the Willows is part of the great body of Edwardian children's literature. Beatrix Potter first introduces The Tale of Peter Rabbit in 1902, J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan debuts on stage in 1904, E. Nesbit's The Railway Children is published in 1906, and Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden in 1911.  (In the interests of Canadian content, Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy Maud Montgomery, makes its appearance before the public eye in 1908.)

The Wind in the Willows tells the story - or more accurately the stories - of a mismatched quartet of animal companions:  the Mole, a naive but earnest visitor to the world aboveground; his more experienced guide the Water Rat, who lives in a burrow by the river; the Badger, a gruff, respected and somewhat feared senior member of the woodland community, and the Toad, the egotistical and somewhat scatterbrained inheritor of Toad Hall.

The book is intensely episodic, ranging widely from the broad comedy of Toad's mishaps and adventures to the lyricism of the Water Rat's encounter with the Sea Rat, the unexpected mysticism of chapter entitled "The Piper At The Gates of Dawn" and the simple heartfelt nostalgia of the Mole's desire to see his old burrow once again when he catches its scent.

I first read The Wind in the Willows when I was about 20.  My then girlfriend owned a copy, and one evening when I was looking for something to read, my eye fell upon it in the bookcase as a recognized title. I started to read, and fell in love with it instantly.

Since then, The Wind in the Willows has been one of the great quiet foundations of my life. Reading the poetry of its text has calmed me when my spirit has been troubled, and comforted me after nightmares. In times of contentment, it has warmed me and satisfied me.  Like the Mole, I am "bewitched, entranced, fascinated" - taken out of my life and shown a different world through Grahame's descriptions of simple things: sunlight on water, a welcoming light in the darkness, good food and the company of good friends, and the whispering of the wind through the willows.

- Sid

* Or seat size.

A long way down in a galaxy far, far away.

 

 

As I've mentioned before, I'm involved in training for longshore workers at British Columbia's cargo terminals. Obviously safety is a large part of that training, and after almost seven years of working on content dealing with hazard recognition and management, I've been left with a heightened awareness of workplace safety.

This awareness sometimes pops up at unexpected moments.  After seeing Rogue One, I was talking with Glen, our Safety Systems Manager, and I asked if he'd seen the movie yet.  He said that he and his wife had seen it the previous week.

"Tell me something, Glen - did it bother you that it was so easy to fall off of things?"

"YES!!!  I told Tina that!  Why are there no railings or safety cages??"

It's an odd thing, but every Star Wars movie offers its characters an opportunity to easily fall a long, long way. It happens twice in A New Hope, once in The Empire Strikes Back, once in The Return of the Jedi, once in The Phantom Menace, I think once or twice in Attack of the Clones, at least twice in Revenge of the Sith, once or twice in The Force Awakens (depending on your standards) - and, of course, three times in Rogue One. How is it that there are no occupational health and safety people demanding proper safety standards in the Star Wars universe?

Forget lack of faith, Vader - personally, I find your lack of guard rails disturbing.

- Sid

P.S.  There are much, much better examples from Rogue One than the shots I started with, but until it hits Blu-ray and iTunes I'm stuck with the trailer and whatever I can find online.

And a very young Yvette Mimieux.

You Know You're a Geek When, Part 5.

To be fair, I assume hard core sports fans get the same sort of questions about legendary forwards or whatever.

- Sid

"Looks like Bo and Abdul have gotten themselves into a mess of trouble with ol' Boss Hogg!"

Pointing to a chair, table, and pile of books, the old man now left the room; and when I sat down to read I saw that the books were hoary and mouldy, and that they included old Morryster’s wild Marvells of Science, the terrible Saducismus Triumphatus of Joseph Glanvill, published in 1681, the shocking Daemonolatreia of Remigius, printed in 1595 at Lyons, and worst of all, the unmentionable Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred, in Olaus Wormius’ forbidden Latin translation; a book which I had never seen, but of which I had heard monstrous things whispered.

H.P. Lovecraft, The Festival

Trust me, this is a funny album title if you're an H.P. Lovecraft fan.

- Sid

P.S. Thanks to TIR music correspondent Christi for the update regarding the new album from The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, hopefully the only H.P. Lovecraft tribute band in captivity.

Memories of Barb.

As do many people in the digital age, my girlfriend Karli likes to share the minutiae of her life with those near and dear to her - perhaps overshare in some cases. As an example, recently she's been struggling with a serious cold that has involved a substantial amount of coughing:

 

Of course, the first thing that came to my mind was the ambiguous - and somewhat gross - final scene of Stranger Things, Netflix's unexpected success story from last year.

But, let's look at the bright side - if you're having a problem with alien slug babies, better Stranger Things than Alien.

- Sid

War Movie.

 

I think it's safe to say that Disney can consider its test case for standalone Star Wars Anthology movies to be a success: so far Rogue One has stacked up an international box office total of more than $980 million since its debut in December.

And I'm part of that near-billion dollar jackpot - in fact, like several people I know, I've actually seen it twice, although in my case it's because I act as a movie wing man for a couple of friends rather than out of fanboy enthusiasm.  However, having seen it twice, I have to confess that in some ways I found Rogue One to be less than successful as a movie experience.

I'll qualify that statement by saying that Rogue One is COMPLETELY successful as a Star Wars experience - which is not necessarily the same thing.  The franchise demands weird aliens, snarky robots, despicable villains, remote location shoots, epic space battles, heroic acts of bravery and, of course, semi-hidden references to other movies in the series.  Rogue One magnificently delivers on all of these counts in glorious widescreen 3-D Dolby™ action.

For anyone unfamiliar with Rogue One's plotline, it takes place immediately before Episode IV (and I mean immediately, apparently A New Hope starts ten minutes after the end of Rogue One) and deals with the pivotal events leading to the theft of the Death Star plans that contain the vital information regarding the battle station's hidden vulnerability.  It's a darker chapter in the saga - director Gareth Edwards wanted to make a war movie, and, as happens in wars, people die - on both sides.

In addition to being a war movie, Rogue One is also very much a geek movie, aimed at the dedicated fan and filled with references and Easter Eggs from the first Star Wars episode. However, those aspects of the film are not just pandering to the fan base.  Given the close timelines between Rogue One and A New Hope, the filmmakers were faced with the challenge of recreating the look and feel of a movie made with 40-year old technology, and, in some cases, with the need to feature actors who no longer looked the same or who had passed away since 1977.

 

For the most part, they succeed. The design and art direction of the film beautifully replicates the look of A New Hope*, and unused found footage from the climactic battle in Episode IV was digitally de-grained and added in to provide additional plot and character continuity between the two films. The digital recreations of Grand Moff Tarkin and Princess Leia have received mixed reviews - personally, I found the simulated version of Peter Cushing to be quite good, but didn't like the recreation of Carrie Fisher, whereas most people seem to have the opposite reaction.**

However, success as a franchise entry is not the same as success as a movie. The scripting of Rogue One suffers from two main problems:  overly convenient plotting and lack of character development.

Convenience may sound like an odd accusation to levy against a script, but there are just too many places where it's obvious that a plot point was written in order to achieve a specific goal rather than a more organic and natural sequence of events advancing the story.  Rogue One is full of things like dramatically located switches, pointlessly irising hatches, meticulously timed simultaneous arrivals, convenient delays after destruction, and so on.

There are plot points that are never resolved or even mentioned again - as a relatively spoiler-free example, one of the supporting characters is Bodhi Rook, an Imperial cargo pilot who is persuaded to defect by Galen Erso, the reluctant architect of the Death Star. Rook seeks out the rebel forces on the planet Jedha, bearing a message from Erso to his old friend Saw Gerrera regarding the fatal flaw that he has engineered into the battle station.  Rook is captured by a group of Gerrera's guerillas*** and taken to their base.

The leader of the group who captured Rook lies to Gerrera regarding the circumstances of the capture, but we never find out why he's deceiving his leader.  In order to determine the truth, Gerrera subjects Rook to having his mind read by a giant squidlike monster - we are told that the process will render Rook insane, but he seems at worst confused after the process, and we never see any sort of resolution regarding the results of the scan. In fact, it's never mentioned again, nor is Bodhi's possible insanity.

This sort of failure in plotting aside, the great disappointment in Rogue One is the manner in which the characters are portrayed.  In theory, everyone in this movie has a story to tell, a story which would illustrate the nature of the conflict between Empire and Rebellion in much clearer terms than any of the other films. Jyn Erso, the protagonist and abandoned daughter of the Death Star's creator, apparently has a history of rebellion not just against the Empire but against any sort of authority.  Her partner, rebel spy Cassian Andor, has been part of the Rebellion since he was six, and has done "terrible things on behalf of the Rebellion." They are accompanied in their mission to steal the Death Star plans by K-2SO, a reprogrammed Imperial war droid; defector Bodhi Rook; and a pair of failed Jedi temple guardians - blind warrior-monk Chirrut Îmwe and his militant partner Baze Malbus.

There are brief moments when we see a glimpse of the emotional potential created by the characters' back stories, but for the most part we are told about these aspects of the characters rather than shown them, and that's where the film really fails. If Cassian is haunted by his actions on behalf of the Rebellion, let's see it - show us something like Martin Sheen's tortured anguish from the opening scenes of Apocalypse Now, a scene that establishes that he's suffering from remorse and guilt long before he's tasked with callously using a daughter as a tool to find and kill her father.

I wanted to see a sharper, edgier, more dangerous Jyn Erso, the rebellious angry girl who was one of Saw Gerrera's best soldiers - show us Jyn slitting Imperial throats and making a reputation, a reputation that eventually makes her a high profile liability for even Gerrera's extremist partisans. I was left wondering about the fall of the Jedi Temple on Sadhu - Chirrut and Baze seemed remarkably carefree for temple guardians who have failed in their duty and are the sole survivors.  Is Chirrut actually a Force adept, or is his battlefield walk to the relay switch a complete act of, well, blind faith?  Bad puns aside, how did Chirrut lose his eyesight?****

What act of brutality or betrayal did Bodhi Rook witness that started him on the road to leaving the Empire?  What happened to Saw Gerrera that destroyed his body and eventually reduced him to a paranoid figurehead?  (There are YouTube™ trailers indicating that a younger Gerrera will be appearing in the upcoming season of the Star Wars: Rebels animated series, presumably filling in some of those gaps, but that doesn't particularly help me with Rogue One.)

Even before Rogue One's box office success, Disney had greenlighted the second film in the Anthology series, which will feature a young Han Solo. Given that this film doesn't even have a title so far, it may not be too late to save it from the failings of Rogue One.  My message to the writer or writers of the film is this: ultimately, starships, robots, aliens and explosions are just set dressing - stories are about people.

- Sid

*  If you're a hard core fan, you'll notice that the little chain that holds the neck of Darth Vader's cloak together is missing - and his gloves don't look right.

** For me, the joke is that I found the woman who acted as the body of  Princess Leia would have been completely acceptable if they had just used her face as-is - something they had no trouble doing with Mon Mothma.

*** Try saying that quickly three times in a row.

**** There's a seven minute YouTube™ video featuring Anna Akana that offers more insight into the character of a blind Jedi than Rogue One manages to provide in two hours and 13 minutes.

Last and First Men

“I'm quite disappointed that I'm still the last man on the moon.”

Eugene Cernan

Although his passing didn't garner the same sort of attention as Neil Armstrong's death, the departure yesterday of ex-astronaut Gene Cernan at the age of 82 provides us with an odd set of bookends: the first and the last man to walk on the Moon are both dead.

Eugene Cernan was part of the third group of astronauts selected by NASA in 1963, and flew on the Gemini 9A, Apollo 10 and Apollo 17 missions, with Apollo 17 marking humanity's last visit to the Moon. Since then, NASA has split its focus between the International Space Station and automated exploration of the Solar System: robotic rovers on Mars and various near-Earth/deep space probes such as Juno, Cassini and New Horizons.

In the background behind these activities has always been the prospect of more manned space exploration - not a return to the Moon, but a larger step, the first manned mission to Mars.

For the last eight years, the White House has strongly supported NASA as part of Obama's focus on science and technology, as well as promoting space initiatives in private industry. This support has enabled NASA to work on refining existing technologies and developing new ones to make the goal of a Mars landing possible, with target dates of early in the next decade for manned exploration of an asteroid*, and sometime in the 2030s for the trip to Mars.

Sadly, nothing lasts forever. In three days, Donald J. Trump will become the 45th president of the United States, and as with many of Mr. Trump's statements, it's difficult to determine exactly what his position on the space program is going to be.

On one hand, he has stated: "NASA has been one of the most important agencies in the United States government for most of my lifetime. It should remain so."  He has also connected space exploration with his desire to return America to greatness: "47 years ago our nation did something that NOBODY thought we could do - we were the first to put a man on the moon. It is time to be number one, again! Believe me, as President, we will once again, Make America First Again!"

Not surprisingly, he also supports the involvement of private industry in space exploration, suggesting that NASA should concentrate on "deep space activities" and allowing the private sector to work on near-Earth projects.

However, Trump has also noted that "A lot of what my administration would recommend depends on our economic state. If we are growing with all of our people employed and our military readiness back to acceptable levels, then we can take a look at the timeline for sending more people into space," and that "In the old days, it [NASA] was great. Right now, we have bigger problems, you understand that. We have to fix our potholes. We don't exactly have a lot of money."

Personally, I can see the coin falling either way.  It's easy to see Trump beginning by putting his house in order as he sees it: bringing jobs back into the US or keeping them there, working on infrastructure, developing the military, and only then turning his attention to space.  But let's be honest. Donald Trump has a more than healthy ego**, and the space program has always been an area of international prestige for the United States. I'm certain that Mr. Trump would be eager to have his name associated with an epic return to space by the USA.

But let's take this to the next logical step. Mr. Trump is also a businessman who has made a lot of money off the branding associated with his name. Combine that with his statements regarding the private sector being more involved in space, and what do we get?

Hopefully valet parking will be an option.

- Sid

P.S. A comprehensive list of Trump's comments on the space program can be found at:
http://www.planetary.org/get-involved/be-a-space-advocate/election2016/trump.html

* I'm surprised to discover that the mandate for this mission includes redirecting an asteroid to near-Earth orbit. What could possibly go wrong with that?   

**  Yes, I realize that this is probably the understatement of the century.