Monday, June 23, 2014

Chicago 1: One to beam up.



(First draft written while waiting for a flight to Chicago.)

I greatly enjoy time spent in different locations - all of my best memories involve foreign locales - but I don't enjoy the process of getting there, the actual travel itself.  Our family didn't travel at all when I was younger, so I when I began to travel as an adult, I had no background or experience to draw upon..  As such, even at the age of 52, going to the airport feels like having to take a really important test that I can't study for and which I could fail at any moment, especially when I'm crossing the border to the United States.

So, let's talk about teleportation.

On the face of it, easy access to mechanical teleportation would be fantastic - when I say "easy", I mean something on the level of taking the bus:  not universal, not free, but affordable and accessible. Step into a booth, swipe your card, pick a location, press GO, open the door, and you're at work.  Or in Zimbabwe.*

But, as always with new technology, it would have both a positive and a negative effect.  In the case of teleportation, the effects would probably be massive, changing the world on the same sort of scale as the introduction of the computer. 

Science fiction author Larry Niven has written a lot of good stories and essays on mechanical teleportation, which detail the various issues involving the collapse of all the transportation and shipping industries at once and the subsequent economic issues, the problems involving smuggling and crime (including the end of location as an alibi for murder) and a myriad of other issues. 

Niven also addresses the physics behind the process and the various problems that would need to be overcome.  For example, if you teleported to the other side of the world, you would have to land running at 1670 kilometers per hour to compensate for the simple fact that the other side of the world is rotating in the opposite direction.

But what actually happens when you teleport?  How does it work?

Well, in theory it kills you.

In some way shape or form, you cease to exist.  You are scanned and disintegrated, then rebuilt at the far end, but is it still you?  There are several science fiction stories that look at this question - notably, there's a teleporter in China Miéville's entertaining novel Kraken who goes insane because he's being haunted by the ghosts of all his previous selves who were killed by the process.**  
“This is why I wouldn’t travel that way,” Dane said. “This is my point. For a piece of rock or clothes or something dead, who cares? But take something living and do that? Beam it up? What you done is ripped a man apart then stuck his bits back together and made them walk around. He died. Get me? The man’s dead. And the man at the other end only thinks he’s the same man. He ain’t. He only just got born. He’s got the other’s memories, yeah, but he’s newborn. That Enterprise, they keep killing themselves and replacing themselves with clones of dead people. That is some macabre shit. That ship’s full of Xerox copies of people who died.”
And there are creepier options.  After all, why should the machine disintegrate you when you're scanned?  Or delete the template?  Or just make one copy at the far end?  The most chilling take on this process comes from Frederik Pohl and Jack Williamson, who posit the use of doppleganger copies of people being used for suicide exploratory missions in space in their Cuckoo novels.  After all, if the original person doesn't go anywhere, and they get a lot of money, why would it matter what happens to their copy - or copies.


Even more disturbing is the possibility of error in the process, as demonstrated in a couple of episodes of Star Trek, but nowhere more graphically than in The Fly (either version, although the 1983 remake has better special effects.)  Personally, I think I'd want to see a whole lot of other people try the damn thing out before I set foot into a transportation booth.

You know, suddenly security lineups, immigration scrutiny and airline delays seem a lot more tolerable. 
- Sid

* Should anyone reading this actually live in Chitungwiza and work in downtown Harare, feel free to substitute "Vancouver".

**  Not to mention the controversial question of the soul. The next time you watch something from the Star Trek franchise, imagine that everyone on the Enterprise is actually a soulless zombie - creepy, isn't it?  No wonder Denise Crosby seemed so stiff.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Damn - I had my heart set on X-ray vision...



In an odd coincidence, LinkedIn™ was kind enough to inform me as to the nature of my personal super-power while I was working on my posting about Days of Future Past.  Ha - take THAT, Magneto!
- Sid

A stubby would have been even better.



Speaking of Alpha Flight, I was discussing comic book movies with my long-suffering co-worker Terry, and asked if he has seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  Upon discovering that he hadn't, I told him that he would have to get it when it reached the general marketplace, because it would fit in perfectly with his conspiracy-oriented view of the government.* 

He replied, "Absolutely - I'll sit down with my son and we'll give it a good watch."

"Isn't Ed a bit young for that sort of movie?"

"Well, he's only four, but he loves that stuff. Spider-Man in particular, he loves Spider-Man.  I was a bit worried about Wolverine, it's so violent, but it doesn't seem to bother him at all."

"Wolverine is an interesting character all around.  He was introduced by Marvel in order to get some Canadian content - at one point the X-Men was being drawn and co-written by a Canadian, fellow named John Byrne, and he introduced an entire Canadian super-group called Alpha Flight, with members from BC and Alberta and Québec and so on.  Wolverine had been a member at one point, and then left under a cloud, so when they meet up again they do that whole weird hero-fighting-hero thing that seemed to happen so often in Marvel comics.  Wolverine and Nightcrawler, the blue X-Man who can teleport, go to Ottawa so Logan can reconnect with Alpha Flight, and there's a whole bunch of Canadian Easter Eggs**, like conversations with Trudeau and Wolverine drinking Canadian beer - Molson's or something similar."

Ah, well, nobody's perfect - a little research revealed that it was actually Labatt's. Although, when you think about it, a can of Canadian would have been a better joke.

 - Sid

* Well, to be honest, his conspiracy theory view of everything.  I'm not certain that Terry believes that we've actually landed on the Moon.

**  Alpha Flight had its own comic for a few years, and if memory serves it continued to have a distinctive Canadian flavour: for example, Northstar, one of the team's super-powered mutant Québecois twins, turned out to have been associated with the FLQ.