"Don't even blink."

The Doctor: They have taken the blue box, haven't they? The angels have the phonebox.

Laurence Nightingale: "The angels have the phonebox", that's my favourite, I've got that on a T-shirt.

 Doctor Who:  Blink

Well, it's probably a good thing that I spent nine months planning a trip to Europe to ensure a  memorable fiftieth birthday, because frankly - and sadly - I've been underwhelmed by the contributions made by others in terms of marking the milestone. The people in question probably know who they are, and I'm just trying to decide if they're going to be removed from the guest list, so to speak.

However, I do feel that I should acknowledge the contribution of my friend and Friday night drinking companion Chris, who quite carefully chose one of the great gnomic statements from Doctor Who, and who also chose a brilliant t-shirt quoting it out of the vast lexicon available online.

And then bought me a couple of pints and a good meal at a pub when he gave it to me.

The multiple award-winning Season Three Doctor Who episode Blink is widely considered to be one of the best episodes of the series - which is a bit odd, considering that the Doctor only appears a few times.  That aside, it contains some of the best time-travel related moments of the series, including a fabulous conversation between the Doctor and Sally Sparrow, played by Carey Mulligan.

This conversation is a bit odd, given that one of the participants is being videotaped in 1969 reading a teleprompter version of the conversation he's having via DVD with someone in 2007. (This is the infamous wibbly-wobbly timey-whimey conversation.)

Looking back, I have to be fair regarding the blanket condemnation in the first paragraph. One or two people haven't logged in yet due to geography and scheduling, but it will require some serious work to outdo Chris' contribution.  Thanks, Chris - as I said on Friday, it means a lot to me.

- Sid

"Do you remember what you asked for?"

And to be honest, I didn't remember until I opened the wrapping, and as such was a bit nervous.  If memory serves, I said that I'd rather receive a toy robot as a gift than an expensive pen - which is quite correct and still holds true.

Much thanks to the staff at the BCMEA, and specifically to Suki, our company's Employee Engagement Manager, for my 50th birthday gift, which I gather involved a substantial amount of effort to obtain.  And thank god I live alone, that noise is a LOT louder in person.

- Sid

P.S. And a final thank-you to David for his evocative comment:  "Hey look, laser tits!"

Thud and blunder.

Due to my recent European adventure, I didn’t go to see the recent movie reboot of Conan the Barbarian, but then, apparently neither did anyone else.  In fact, it seems to have come and gone in surprisingly short order for an epic big-budget heroic fantasy summer release.

So what went wrong?

Personally, I think that there’s some kind of fundamental barrier which can prevent an author’s work from being successfully adapted. The continued interest in Robert E. Howard’s barbarian hero would seem to indicate that there's some merit to the character, but as with Frank Herbert’s Dune and apparently everything by William Gibson, it may not be all that easy to transfer that obvious merit to another medium.

The barrier in all three of these examples is the same: style. Howard’s prose may be a bit extreme, but it paints a detailed tapestry, loaded with visual and sensory clues, placing Conan - and the reader - in a world which is rich, tactile, and real. 

Howard described the genesis of his Cimmerian warrior in similar terms:

It may sound fantastic to link the term "realism" with Conan; but as a matter of fact - his supernatural adventures aside - he is the most realistic character I ever evolved.  He is simply a combination of a number of men I have known, and I think that's why he seemed to step full-grown into my consciousness when I wrote the first yarn of the series.  Some mechanism in my sub-conscious took the dominant characteristics of various prize-fighters, gunmen, bootleggers, oil field bullies, gamblers and honest workmen I have come in contact with, and combining them all, produced the amalgamation I call Conan the Cimmerian.

For a true look at the character of Conan and the manner in which Howard describes him and his world, I strongly recommend reading a couple of the original stories featuring the character. Please note the word “original” – as I’ve already discussed, Conan has travelled quite a long way from home over the years since Robert E. Howard’s creation of the character.

Fortunately, much of Howard's work is now available as free downloads on Project Gutenberg.  Recommended reading would be the short stories Red Nails, Across the Black River, or A Witch Shall Be Born. If you're looking for a longer experience, try The Hour of the Dragon, a book-length work originally published as a five-part serial in the pulp magazine Weird Tales.

The bottom line is that any attempt at adaptation ends up being a second-hand description, someone trying to find a way to evoke through imitation the same degree of creative depth that they see in the original work. I suppose it's like a band doing cover songs: regardless of the quality of the performance, it's always going to be based upon - and compared to - someone else's unique genius.  Let's face it - imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but that doesn't make it the best form.

- Sid