Sunday, February 17, 2013

And why are they throwing them at Russia?


Sooner or later, it was bound to happen. On 30 June 1908, Moscow escaped destruction by three hours and four thousand kilometres - a margin invisibly small by the standards of the universe. Again, on 12 February 1947, yet another Russian city had a still narrower escape, when the second great meteorite of the twentieth century detonated less than four hundred kilometres from Vladivostok, with an explosion rivalling that of the newly invented uranium bomb.
In those days, there was nothing that men could do to protect themselves against the last random shots in the cosmic bombardment that had once scarred the face of the Moon. The meteorites of 1908 and 1947 had struck uninhabited wilderness; but by the end of the twenty-​first century, there was no region left on Earth that could be safely used for celestial target practice. The human race had spread from pole to pole. And so, inevitably...
At 09.46 GMT on the morning of 11 September, in the exceptionally beautiful summer of the year 2077, most of the inhabitants of Europe saw a dazzling fireball appear in the eastern sky. Within seconds it was brighter than the sun, and as it moved across the heavens - at first in utter silence - it left behind it a churning column of dust and smoke.
Somewhere above Austria it began to disintegrate, producing a series of concussions so violent that more than a million people had their hearing permanently damaged. They were the lucky ones.
Moving at fifty kilometres a second, a thousand tons of rock and metal impacted on the plains of northern Italy, destroying in a few flaming moments the labour of centuries. The cities of Padua and Verona were wiped from the face of the earth; and the last glories of Venice sank for ever beneath the sea as the waters of the Adriatic came thundering landwards after the hammer-​blow from space.
Six hundred thousand people died, and the total damage was more than a trillion dollars. But the loss to art, to history, to science - to the whole human race, for the rest of time - was beyond all computation. It was as if a great war had been fought and lost in a single morning; and few could draw much pleasure from the fact that, as the dust of destruction slowly settled, for months the whole world witnessed the most splendid dawns and sunsets since Krakatoa.
After the initial shock, mankind reacted with a determination and a unity that no earlier age could have shown. Such a disaster, it was realized, might not occur again for a thousand years - but it might occur tomorrow. And the next time, the consequences could be even worse.
Very well; there would be no next time.
A hundred years earlier a much poorer world, with far feebler resources, had squandered its wealth attempting to destroy weapons launched, suicidally, by mankind against itself. The effort had never been successful, but the skills acquired then had not been forgotten. Now they could be used for a far nobler purpose, and on an infinitely vaster stage. No meteorite large enough to cause catastrophe would ever again be allowed to breach the defences of Earth.
So began Project SPACEGUARD. Fifty years later - and in a way that none of its designers could ever have anticipated - it justified its existence.
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke
At approximately 9:20 on Friday, a meteoroid exploded over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk.  Estimates as to the object's exact size and weight vary - NASA's estimate is 17 meters in diameter and a weight of about ten metric tonnes.  Windows shattered,  buildings were damaged, and over a thousand people were injured, over one hundred of whom required hospitalization.

Coincidentally, the Chelyabinsk explosion took place sixteen hours before asteroid DA2012, 50 meters in diameter and 190,000 metric tonnes in weight, came within 27,000 kilometers of Earth, the closest recorded passage of an object of that size.  

I don't know who's tossing these things at us, but I have to think that eventually they're going to throw a strike.
- Sid
 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

"I can put you back in the saddle...stand you up tall."

This blog posting is dedicated to Ted Vincent, who convinced his mother-in-law to watch Cowboys and Aliens in spite of her avowed dislike of both groups.

I've just finished reading a couple of Joe R. Lansdale stories, Dead in the West and Deadman's Road, both of which involve zombies in the post-Civil War West. Perhaps due to his Texas roots, Lansdale has always had a strong affinity for Western settings, albeit with unexpected and fantastic plotlines, as demonstrated in his work on Jonah Hex for DC Comics in the early 90s.

The interesting thing about these two weird Western tales is that there's no context for the characters to realize the nature of the peril they're facing.  Let's face it, if the media reported an outbreak of zombies tomorrow morning, a substantial percentage of the US population would smile happily, ram an oversized magazine into their AR-15, and go out into the streets to git some, as they say.  But in the West of the late 1800s, there's really no cultural basis for knowledge of the walking dead, and as such the characters are horrified and astonished to a much greater extent.

The movie Cowboys and Aliens offers a comparable scenario in terms of a situation where people are faced with an enemy with absolutely no precedent in their milieu.  As things stand right now, I suspect that virtually anyone in the world, upon seeing a bright ball of light descend from the sky, land in the back yard, and expel a couple of green fellows with big heads, would say, “Aha, aliens!”  Culturally speaking we’ve been preparing for this for years – in fact, I could probably write a reasonably plausible Men In Black subplot dealing with extraterrestrial Hollywood producers who have been funding movies with the purpose of preparing the general population to accept alien visitors more easily.

Cowboy and Aliens is oddly lacking in this area - it's surprising that there's an almost complete lack of speculation as to the origin of the titular creatures (the aliens, that is).  Other than someone asking the preacher if the invaders could be demons, there's no real curiousity about the origin of the giant fanged bullfrogs that are behind the problems.

Historically speaking, it's a very near thing.  A well read latter-days cowboy might be familiar with H. G. Wells' War of the Worlds, which first saw print in 1897, and it's Wells who first introduces the idea of extraterrestrial invaders to the cultural mindset.  But other than that possibility, the whole idea of aliens would have to be a mystery to the Texes and Hopalongs of the Wild West.


Regardless of the opinion of the cowboys, there's a very basic question left unanswered.  What would the aliens think of the whole "cowboys" idea? Depending on their cultural matrix, who knows what they might think was actually going on with the riders of the purple sage?

As usual, science fiction has already address this question, so I close with the following excerpt from The Secret, a story in the Retief of the CDT series by Keith Laumer.  Jame Retief, a member of the Corps Diplomatique Terrestrienne, is about to rescue a captured alien diplomat who is being tortured with Roy Rogers and Dale Evans movies.*
"Mr. Minister, the US cavalry has arrived.  Are you ready to go?
"Heck no, Retief, we're just getting to the good part, where Roy mounts his wench and rides off into the wasteland."
"I think maybe you've got Trigger and Dale confused, D'ong."
"I confess I pay little attention to names. But how I admire the savoir fair of the cowbeomen, who, in times of strife, think first of love.  Always they and their faithful mates couple joyously as they dash off across the plains, hero and villain alike!"
Remember that quote the next time you're watching a John Wayne movie and he tells everyone to mount up...
- Sid

Recommended Reading:
If you're interested in this particular sub-genre of science fiction, I strongly recommend David Drake's trio of Roman-meets-alien books - Killer, Legions of Bronze, and Birds of Prey.  Drake does a very good job of creating convincing scenarios in which the Romans come out on top against aliens who may have superior technology, but not superior determination and bravery.

* Hey, I don't write this stuff, I just reference it.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I HATE it when that happens.


Sometimes when I'm waiting for a file to transfer or a disc to burn, I'll grab a paperback from my conveniently located bookshelves and just read a page while I wait.

Today I picked out The Atrocity Archives, the first book in the Laundry series by Charles Stross.  Stross is a brilliant author, who goes back and forth between hard SF novels like Singularity Sky and H. P. Lovecraft/John le Carré/computer geek mashups like the Laundry books with consumate skill. 

I flipped open The Atrocity Archives near the end of the story, where the action is taking place in an alternate dimension, an Earth near absolute zero, where the oxygen has long since frozen and fallen as snow to the brittle, lifeless soil - "colder than summer on Pluto", as it's described in the book.  

The group from our Earth is being stalked by body-snatching demons, eager to take possession of the invaders and use their bodies to escape through the portal to our dimension.  However, the hero of the story (who would laugh at that particular tag) harvests the hands from the long-dead corpses of sacrificial victims, and uses them to create Hands of Glory, a magical item that renders the person carrying it invisible.  All they have to do is ignite the fingertips, and then escape through the portal.  

Now, I've read this book a couple of times, enjoyed it enormously, purchased the sequels, and would probably buy the t-shirt if one was available.  But today this little voice in the back of my head spoke up:

Absolute zero...no air....

Ignite the fingers...escape through the portal...

....

How do the fingers keep burning in a vacuum?

Damn.  I had exactly the same experience reading a Terry Pratchett novel where a character fires the seventh bullet in a six bullet clip into the floor rather than his adversary.   It somehow subverts the whole process, you know?  
- Sid

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Gnomic statements V.



I have always wished that there was someone to be the Amanda to my Neil.
- Sid
 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

"ALL DAY BREAKFAST!" just isn't as thought-provoking.



Some interpretations of quantum physics suggest that there are a myriad of parallel universes to our own. In traditional quantum physics experiments such as Schrödinger's Cat, the state of the cat in the box with the particle-activated poison is indeterminant until observed, at which point the wave function collapses into one state or another.  The parallel universe approach says that the wave function doesn't collapse, but decoheres or divides, thereby creating one universe in which the cat is alive, and one in which the cat is dead.  Since this approach would apply to every event from the subatomic level up to my choice of beer, infinity would hardly seem large enough to contain all of the alternate universes. 

However, in the empirically experienced universe where I decided to photograph this sign, it turned out that I wasn't the Guinness drinking version. Either way (literally), if you ask me this is pretty intellectual stuff for a pub sign - at least in this universe.
- Sid
 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A new hope?



Tonight at the gym I watched the last half hour of A New Hope while I did cardio.

Someplace/somehow/sometime I stumbled across a digital copy of the original cut, a kind of geek trophy, posted on some thief’s fileshare paradise in a shadowy corner of the Internet.

This is the perfect version, the magical version, a stand-alone Joseph Campbell Hero With A Thousand Faces space opera fantasy tale, heroes, villains, scoundrels, princesses, wizards, quests, victories, sacrifices, all indifferent to matte lines and parsecs, where Han knows he has to shoot first and a farm boy falls in love with a princess, the version that George Lucas made without any plans for the future, constructed before he lost his confidence and started obsessively rethinking and reworking the trilogy.

Since then, millions and millions of pages and frames and words have been added to the Star Wars story, folding it in on itself over and over again, like forging a Japanese sword, layer upon layer upon layer of plot and character.  But the result has become a peculiar failure, the elaborate construction and multiple changes making the result brittle and dull, losing the razor sharp brilliance of the original.

Wouldn’t it be funny if, after all the comments and criticisms and jokes about their Lucasfilm purchase, Walt Disney™ brought back the magic?
- Sid

"Without irony or snark."


He’s a super-agent and possibly even a super-soldier, he’s been military and law enforcement (and a scout master!) in past incarnations, and his power set is quite grounded and so he wears armour and carries gear. His night-sticks, or tonfa, new to this incarnation, are his signature weapon. They can electrify at his command, or can merge into a single bo staff. All non-lethal weapons, (but formidable in the right hands) something that touches on his Canadian-ness, which is at the heart of this revamp, without irony or snark. We’ve seen patriotic super-soldier characters before, but we want to emphasize the things that set a Canadian one apart. Cap doesn’t carry a gun or a sword or blast people to smithereens, he relies on strategy, negotiation, and wits. And he’s also super-polite, it’s a real power that all Canadians possess.
Among my Boxing Week purchases in 2012 was a marked down DVD/blu-ray combo copy of Captain America, which according to one of the reviewer blurbs is "the best superhero movie ever!"


And you know, they may be right.  Steve Rogers' journey from 4F to supersoldier is handled with the perfect combination of sincerity, dignity and humour - there isn't a false note in the whole film.  Watching it again after seeing it in theatrical release, I'm struck again by the perfection of that last line in the movie, that matter-of-fact statement of regret when he says, "I had a date…"

Captain America, with his roots in World War II, is one of the most iconic comic book heroes - quite literally iconic, the man is wearing a flag and is named after his country.   Because of that iconic nature, with its focus on honour and integrity, there has always been a sort of purity to the character in all of its various incarnations. 
Canada's equivalent, Captain Canuck, is currently being rebooted in animated form - the video teaser clip shows a parcouriste Captain leaping from rooftop to rooftop. It's quite a departure from the old uniform - the octagonal texture effect in the fabric is a bit trendy, and I'm not sure about the shoes, but overall, it's a good look, and I like the graphic integration of the Canadian flag motif into the uniform.

But really, that's all irrelevant.  If they can't bring the right sort of representative elements to the character, the Canadian equivalent to the elements that have always defined Captain America, then the new Captain will just be another spandex knockoff.  However, there's a good chance that Andrasofszky can pull it off - after all, he's a Canadian too.
 - Sid
 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Yes, still on the flying cars thing.



Yeah, what he said.

* * *

Happy New Year, everyone!  One more step into the future, flying cars or not.
 - Sid

(From Surviving The World, by Dante Shepherd)