Future Shock.

I've just finished reading The Shockwave Rider, by John Brunner - it's a dystopian novel in which government has devolved into an amoral end-justifies-the-means system based around totalitarian control over information.

The protagonist was recruited to a government think tank as a child, but escaped after discovering the hidden agenda behind the group.  A master programmer, he conceals his true identity under a variety of aliases - he's skilled enough that he can program a new persona into the net using just a phone screen.  His ID hacking is safeguarded by a worm that circulates through the Net eliminating any traces of his previous identities.

At this point, you're probably thinking, "Okay, well, that's somewhat plausible, but not excessively imaginative."

It's more imaginative than you think.  The Shockwave Rider was written in 1975 - for the children in the audience, the original IBM PC was released in 1981, one year before the introduction of the standardized TCP/IP system that allowed for the development of the Internet.  On that basis, Brunner's novel is insanely prescient.  Not only does he predict the global Net as an everyday part of life, he introduces the idea of viral worms that would circulate through the sea of interconnected data deleting information.  (Not to mention being able to interface with the Net using a phone.)

And then he throws it all away by having the hero set up a referendum-like program that offers everyone on the planet the option of voting in favour of eliminating poverty, disease and inequity, and also having him create the tools to make that change possible.

Now THAT'S an unlikely prediction - unfortunately.

- Sid

"I admire its purity."

I was in the middle of developing another project, and this script dropped on my desk.  I read it in forty minutes...and bang!  The script was simple and direct:  it was the reason I did the film."

Ridley Scott on the script for Alien, The Book of Alien

In the wake of my disappointing experience with Prometheus, I decided to revisit Alien:  the original ten-little-Indians-on-a-spaceship movie that started the franchise.

On paper, the two movies are very similar:  enigmatic alien spaceships, bad planetary weather conditions, hidden agendas, villainous androids, and, of course, slime-covered alien monsters.  However, that similarity is deceptive.  Alien is a much more elementary film - as Ridley Scott says, simple and direct.

The movie is a beautifully crafted piece of work.  The art direction had input from some of the top fantasy/science fiction illustrators of the day:  Ron Cobb, Chris Foss, Jean Giraud (aka Moebius) and of course Hans Rudi Giger, whose biomechanical illustrations provided the perfect starting place for the design of both the alien spacecraft and the Alien. 

The script, as Ridley Scott points out, is simple and direct, but it's also full of little moments of realism - of humanity, one might say.  Ripley's panic when the dead facehugger falls on her; the awkward sick room camaraderie when Kane has regained consciousness; the moments that Brett spends letting the condensation drip on his upturned face just moments before his death; Dallas momentarily knocking his headset loose in the air duct, and fumbling for a moment to get it right way round when he puts it back on.

I've always thought that the most brilliant of those moments is at the end, when Ripley is undressing in preparation for hibernation, only to discover that the Alien is in the lifeboat with her.  (It's easy to classify that scene as gratuitous, but I see it as a tactic designed to make Ripley as vulnerable as possible in her final confrontation with the creature. Ideally, she should have been naked, but you can't have everything.)  Ripley's responses are exactly what you would expect under the circumstances, making the ending much more effective than the sort of heroic dialogue-driven posturing that most action films are prone to.

I think that Prometheus wanted to have that feel of realism, of actual life, and that may well explain some of the odd little diversions in the plot.  Unfortunately, those diversions ended up feeling artificial, rather than part of the natural flow of events.

Of course, both movies share the basic lack of judgement that always predicates the action in this sort of science fiction horror thriller.  Doesn't anyone ever decide to disobey protocol in favour of common sense?  Think how much shorter these movies would be if the captain's log read as follows:

Stardate: 43205.6 

Discovered alien spaceship - no signs of life, crew died from unknown causes, cargo hold full of unidentified organic cocoons.  

Took one look and buggered off at warp nine.

- Sid

Goes Nowhere, Does Nothing.

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that I dodged the bullet was unable to see Piranha 3DD with Laurie on Friday, due to the fact that P3DD only lasted two weeks in commercial release.  (A DVD rental/iTunes download option is being cautiously negotiated.)  In its place, we saw Prometheus, a movie which I had been looking forward to with somewhat more anticipation than the boobs-n-blood piranha experience.

High concept science fiction films are somewhat rare. There are lots of science fiction horror films, more than enough science fiction action thrillers, plenty of comic book adaptations, but not many science fiction films that attempt to create a thought-provoking experience for the audience.  Examples would be Blade Runner, District 9, Solaris (either version), 2001, Soylent Green, Inception, - perhaps Moon, if you're feeling generous - and I expected to be able to add Prometheus to the list.

Sadly, that's not how it worked out.

On paper, Prometheus should qualify automatically.  In 2089, archeologists find evidence that humanity is the creation of an alien race - not only that, but they also discover the point of origin for these Engineers, as they call them.  The archeologists convince the elderly head of Weyland Enterprises to fund an expedition to that point of origin in hopes of finding either proof of the existence of the aliens, or the Engineers themselves.  The expedition is accompanied by an android, who acts as a metaphor for the experience of being a created entity.

This is good solid stuff: the opportunity to stand before the creators of our species and ask them why we were created, what our purpose is as a species, and perhaps to form a bond with these long-lost parents of humanity.

Or not.

In spite of the enormous potential of the concept, Prometheus fails under the weight of the numerous inconsistencies, dead ends, moments of illogic, and lost opportunities that dominate the script.  Characters die pointlessly, plot details are introduced that offer nothing to the story, there's no sense to the flow of events, and important story points seem to just pop into existence rather than developing logically.*

To be fair, the actors all do good work, and there are some very powerful individual scenes.  The art direction is excellent, and of course Ridley Scott knows how to point a camera and light a scene, but none of those things are enough to redeem the flaws in the script.

I really wanted to like this movie, but after seeing it, I have to consider Prometheus as an ambitious failure, a film which, like the prop conduits in the original Star Trek series, goes nowhere - and does nothing.  Near the start of Prometheus Charlize Theron's character introduces herself by saying, "Good morning. I am Meredith Vickers, and it is my job to make sure you do yours."  How unfortunate that no one performed that role for the makers of this movie.

- Sid

* I can post a long list of specific examples if no one cares about spoilers.

Is that all you got?

So, having missed a week of Continuum, the new SF series on Showcase, I tuned in to see if the bar had gone up or down while I was doing other things.

As part of the plot of the latest episode, one of the terrorists from the future decides to set a trap for the cop who was thrown back in time with them.  The terrorists are killing people with a specific genetic tag and stealing their pituitary glands in order to create a super-soldier serum, and the forces of justice follow planted clues to find the next potential victim, one Herbert George, only to discover that it's a setup. 

Oh, honestly, Herbert George?  For the non-literary types in the audience, it's an obvious homage to a famous Herbert George, who more commonly went by H. G. - as in H. G. Wells, who introduced the whole concept of time travel to the general public in his 1895 novel The Time Machine.

And that's the best you could do?  Out of the myriad of time travel references you could have picked, you went with H. G. Wells? Instead of something cool and obscure that would have made the bad guy look like a clever psychopath rather than a douche*?  What was your second choice, Marty McFly?  It was painfully obvious - I felt like Admiral Akbar, sitting in front of the television shouting, "It's a trap!"

And even more sadly, none of the main characters got it?  Not even the computer geek who is probably going to invent the damn time machine that they used to escape the future? 

Okay, we'll give these clowns one more week, and then we decide if the circus is leaving town.

- Sid

* Just for the record, I have never before stooped to the use of this particular term in public discourse, that's how unimpressed I was by this whole thing.

Better late than never.

When Monsters Versus Aliens came out in 2009, I pretty much just didn't care. Whether it was because of what I felt was an unimaginative title, bad marketing, or just not having time, I didn't bother to pay the going rate to see it in commercial release.

However, last night while I was putting the finishing touches on Laurie's updated web site, I switched on the small TV that I keep beside my computer - yes, I've kept the childhood habit of watching television while I do my homework. Instantly deciding that I did NOT want to watch - good lord - Jersey Shore Shark Attack on Space, I hopped around the channels until I was stopped by the image of an epic array of military might surrounding a giant Cyclopean robot that's about to be greeted by a Kennedyesque president.

To my intense amusement, the choice of first contact protocols was the Re, Mi, Do, Do, So alien theme from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, nervously (and incorrectly) performed by POTUS on a Yamaha synth, followed by the spread-fingered Vulcan salute. When this display of intergalactic brotherhood is greeted by indifference, the president falls back on Harold Faltermeyer's Axel F theme from Beverly Hills Cop, which naturally results in a robotic rampage that the armed forces are unable to stop.

I was hooked.

To my surprise and pleasure, it turns out that Monsters Versus Aliens is a comprehensive and entertaining homage to every creature, blob, giant insect, ancient horror or THING that ever terrorized an unsuspecting 1950's American suburb, up to and including the 50-Foot Woman. It also riffs off Dr. Strangelove, E.T., The Fly, Fire in the Sky, Independence Day, and other SF mainstays, as well as indulging in moments of just random off-the-wall brilliance.  The mere fact that they tapped Stephen Colbert to be the voice of the President is a strong indicator of the mentality behind the creation of this film.

Meanwhile, Space showed a really bad shark movie…guys, I thought I made myself clear on the whole shark movie thing?

- Sid

P.S. Coincidentally, I designed porta-potty signs for exactly that style of giant robot just last month - who knew?

 

Sith don't Tweet.

We're just in the final stages of doing some updates for Laurie's web site.  Previously it was very much focused on strength training, but since she's gotten interested in yoga, meditation classes, and training techniques involving body weight rather than barbells, we thought that her site should reflect the kinder, gentler Smith Training Systems - different logo, more contemplative colour scheme, and so on.

However, I think it's important that people remember where they've come from, and as such I decided to create a sub-site, a sort of shadow site if you will, to allow Laurie - or La'ri - to continue to service both of her target client groups.

And yes, there's a link to the subsite carefully concealed somewhere on the new Smith Training pages - I have every confidence in the ability of potential Dark Side apprentices to use the Force to discover its location.

- Sid

Sidney's Zombie: Part One.

Last week's face-eating incident in Florida left anyone with a hint of foresight anxiously awaiting the emergence of zombie hordes created by the usual relentless pyramid scheme of the undead. Yes yes, I know that the whole thing has been blamed on some sort of new drug, but honestly, would you buy a drug that made you eat people's faces?  Certainly not my idea of a good time. 

Obviously the whole drug story is just part of the usual cover-up.  In fact, this is exactly how the end of the world starts in all the books and movies dealing with that as a topic: first denial, then escalation.

But you have to wonder a little bit about the whole zombie thing.  After all, the very concept of the walking dead is contradictory - how do you logically explain the whole idea of dead people strolling about in search of brains?  So, after some thought and consideration, I give to you mortis ambulatus: colloquially (and utterly without modesty) Sidney's Zombie.

*  *  *

Let us consider the humble virus.  Interestingly, rather like zombies, viruses are not really alive by standard biological standards, but persist in performing activities that mimic life, like doing their best to go forth and multiply.  Given the manner in which zombies are created and operate, let's assume that the zombie "disease" is a viral phenomenon, like ebola or AIDS.

Like those two diseases, the zombie virus is best served by existence in as many hosts as possible - if not strength, there's certainly survival in numbers.  And, like its colleagues, the zombie virus relies on exchange of biological material to infect new hosts.

All three of these diseases are fatal if left untreated - and in many cases fatal even with treatment. Ebola is a fast killer - in fact, almost too fast to be efficient. Ebola basically liquifies its host, turning flesh and organs into a big juicy bag of skin filled with ebola vectors, but does it so quickly that the host loses the ability to move around and infect people. AIDS, on the other hand, gives its hosts a lot more time (relatively speaking) for infection.  Either way, once the host is dead, both these viruses are pretty much finished if they haven't already managed to make new friends.

And there lies the superiority of the zombie virus. The untreated fatality rate seems to be 100%*, but unlike its siblings, the zombie virus doesn't let death stand in the way of finding new victims.  One can only admire the evolutionary development that led to such a brilliant solution to this fundamental problem.

I'd like to keep this discussion readable, so we'll take a little break, and then come back and look at how the zombie virus does its job.

- Sid

* Generally zombie movies don't discuss the idea of treating victims because most people who are infected through zombie bites die as a result of the wound - or wounds - and don't really have enough time for the virus to kill them.  However, the first Resident Evil movie includes a drug that treats the zombie "disease".

DISCLAIMER: I'm certain that other people have speculated as to the science of zombies, but I've deliberately avoided doing any research.  As such, my thoughts on this topic are unsullied by any sort of accurate scientific knowledge.

 

"Tonight, the part of Vancouver will be played by ..."

A new science fiction series called Continuum has just started up on Showcase.  The plot deals with political terrorists who manage to escape execution in 2077 by time-jumping to 2012.  One of the cops doing security at the execution is accidentally pulled back in time with the terrorists, and she undertakes the task of tracking down and neutralizing them before they remold the future by changing the past.

After watching the first episode, my initial reaction was neither here nor there. I'm pretty much up to speed on time travel plot options, and they haven't broken new ground as far as I'm concerned, but the writers do display a clear understanding of how the game is played.  The effects were acceptable but not brilliant, and as with any new science fiction program they've followed the tradition of loading the call sheet with actors from defunct SF shows:  William B. Davis, the Smoking Man from X-Files; Lexa Doig, who played Rommie on Andromeda; Victor Webster from Mutant X; and Tony Amendola - Bra'tac from Stargate SG-1.

However, I do have to give them credit for doing something unique.  Continuum is filmed in Vancouver, as so many other movies and TV shows have been - but it also takes place in Vancouver!  Yes, someone is finally producing a science fiction series in which Vancouver doesn't pretend to be Seattle, or New York, or Metropolis, or any one of a dozen other cities.  It was actually sort of fun to see the heroine wondering where she is, and having the computer wizard who is monitoring her implant cheerfully announce, "Corner of Pender and Beatty!"

- Sid

Probably not much like Hoegaarden.

There's a marvellous little microbrewery called Steamworks located in downtown Vancouver.  They brew a good selection of beers including a nice lager, they're in a great location, the food is tasty, and if you sit near the windows on the north side it's a good view provided that you like train tracks. 

A couple of months ago on the way to work, I noticed that a maintenance problem with one of the letters in their neon signage had changed the entire direction of their branding, but when I ran up at lunch to take a picture for the blog, they seemed to have resolved the issue.  It popped up now and then over the next couple of weeks, but I could never reconcile its appearance with the schedule for my morning commute, availability of camera equipment, and lack of pouring down rain, and finally it seemed to go away completely.

When my department had lunch at Steamworks on Friday, I was reminded of the signage thing, and mentioned it to my manager Donovan, because as a longtime player of World of Warcraft, I thought he'd appreciate it.  He found it amusing enough that I decided to fire up Photoshop and redo the Steamworks signage to replicate the problem:

The "orcs with a k" spelling is really more of a Warhammer 40K thing than Warcraft, but I still think that Steam Orks would be a great name for a brewery, and let's face it, it's unlikely that orcs would be overly concerned with the finer points of spelling.  I can just imagine being seated by a surly green-skinned monstrosity with tusks and pointed ears, and then watching frantic goblins equipped with a variety of steampunk tools and accessories struggling with a wheezing, bubbling fermentation tank in order to produce a pint of Saruman's White. (And I bet that hardly anyone would ever be brave enough - or drunk enough - to chat up the waitresses.*)

Seriously, I think that the idea of a Tolkien-themed brewery is a marketable concept, and why not call it Steam Orks?  I think that it has a nice, um, ring to it.

- Sid

* I was hoping to put up a picture for this, but trust me, you do NOT want to see some of the things that come up if you do a Google™ image search for "sexy orc".