But wouldn't Stacy and Clinton just LOVE this?

 "I have a very bad feeling about this."

Luke Skywalker*, Star Wars IV:  A New Hope

I've recently been informed that a close acquaintance is planning to dress as a Jedi master throughout 2012.  Even more unfortunate, a little research reveals that right now TLC's What Not To Wear is only accepting applications for the show from San Juan, Houston, Memphis, and New York.

- Sid

* Actually, everybody says some version of this line:  Luke says it, Obi-Wan says it, Han says it, Leia says it, C-3PO says it, Anakin says it - it's the Star Wars equivalent of "I'll be back."

With apologies to my Secret Santa.

You know, it's comforting to discover that if you talk about your interests enough, people will eventually get the idea and apply that knowledge where appropriate.*  As an example, although I expected some sort of generic gift-card style present from my Secret Santa in our workplace holiday gift exchange, to my complete surprise I received two robot-themed Christmas ornaments and a collection of Dilbert cartoons. (Living on the edge with the last one, but they got lucky and bought one of the Dilbert collections that I don't already own.**)

However, I failed to grasp the fact that the ornaments were made out of glass, and as such didn't use sufficient care when unwrapping them at home.  The result, one broken robot. Fortunately, the ornaments came packed in a box from the Vancouver Art Gallery gift shop, so I decided to pay them a visit on my way home on Friday and purchase a replacement.

Once there, I was intrigued to see that there was a selection of other science-fiction themed decorations, and on the spur of the moment decided to add a couple of the others to my collection:

I'm particularly amused by the vaguely apprehensive expression on the flying saucer snowman's face as he looks toward the skies as if into the future.  Let's hope that there's nothing more intimidating than sunshine and warm weather in that future for all of us.

Happy holidays and merry Christmas, everyone - here we are again, half way out of the dark...

- Sid

* With certain exceptions - I won't name names here, but someone in my life has come to the erroneous conclusion that I have enough books, which is of course dead wrong.  I don't have enough shelves, either, darlin'...

** Wait - was owning Dilbert collections on the geek test?

Heroes R Us.

 So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored).  

- CDC Public Health Matters Blog

Damn it, I can't find my axe.

Very nice little axe, not a full 36 inch splitting axe but a smaller utility axe, 24 or 28 inches, very handy size.  I'm sure I brought it with me when I moved to Vancouver, it must just be buried somewhere in my little storage closet in the basement.

Don't worry, I haven't decided to buy a hockey mask and start butchering teenagers*, I'm looking for the axe so that I can add it to my disaster kit.

Popular opinion in the scientific community seems to be that it's not a question of if Vancouver is going to experience an earthquake, only a question of when and how big - there's a one in ten chance that the next fifty years will see a 6.5 to 8.9 magnitude earthquake somewhere in coastal British Columbia. 

As such, disaster planning has become a hot topic, and my workplace is making every effort to help its staff prepare for the worst.  We've had disaster planning seminars, emergency lockers with supplies are being set up in the building, and all of the staff members have received three-day two-person emergency supply packs.

I've actually gotten quite interested in the idea, and I've been gathering together a variety of useful items (or trying to gather - still can't find my axe) to supplement the commercial kit.  In addition to extra clothing and water, I've also set aside a short spade, work gloves, hard hat and goggles - and hopefully my axe - in order to be able to assist with rescue work.  I'm also thinking about adding a box of emergency meals to my cache.

But I have to admit that my interest is a bit suspect.  To be honest, it's sort of a science fiction game for me - in my head, I'm not really planning for an earthquake, I'm planning for an asteroid strike, or the zombie apocalypse, or maybe an alien invasion - some exotic end-of-the-world scenario that in reality would certainly demand a lot more for survival than some warm clothing and a one-week supply of food and water.

Oddly enough, I'm not unique in my approach to this.  Zombies were a popular promotional point for disaster planning groups and agencies in 2011. The US Centers for Disease Control discussed planning for the zombie apocalypse in their blog, emergency response agencies in Ohio conducted a zombie emergency exercise, and the city of Leicester in England was forced to admit that they didn't have plans in place for an attack by the undead.

Obviously no one is really worried about the walking dead (well, at least not Leicester), but the sort of chaos that we see in zombie movies is a telling example of what might actually happen in case of a disaster.  I'm confident that people see themselves as the hero in those movies, rather than a victim, but you know, I don't think that's a bad thing. If there is a disaster, I hope that we'll all be heroes.

And come to think of it, I really should find that axe, because that would be a damn handy thing to have around if zombies do become a problem.

- Sid

P.S.  A brief unpaid promo:  the emergency kits that we received through the company were purchased from a Canadian company called FAST -  First Aid and Survival Technologies Limited.  To avoid false expectations, FAST offers a variety of emergency kits, none of which come with shotguns, machetes, crossbows, or any of the other staples of zombie management.

* At least not yet.

Gimme shelter.

While working on my posting about how we as a planet would deal with a major catastrophe like an asteroid impact, it occurred to me that some attention should be focused on preserving a portion of the ecosystem as well. After all, it would be short-sighted to only preserve human life, as Noah - or more accurately Jehovah - was fully aware.

A search for images of Noah's Ark revealed images of another ark. Developed by 51-year-old Russian architect Alexander Remizov of Remistudio, in co-operation with Russian and German scientific groups, the new Ark was designed as part of the International Union of Architects’ Architecture for Disaster Relief initiative.

Everything would seem to indicate that it's a brilliant design. It can be built as a floating structure as well as a land-based refuge, and is made up of a combination of wooden arches and cable supports that allow for a flexible response to earthquake stresses. The Ark is constructed to create a vortex that helps propel a wind powered generator located in the cupola that tops the building, and the outside of the building is designed to optimize solar panel usage and rain water collection. The rounded shape allows for easy circulation of air, greenhouse effect adds another source of energy to be collected and stored, and all wastes are recycled.

Remizov's Ark doesn't use glass - the outside surface is covered with a special transparent self-cleaning foil which is cheaper, lighter and more flexible. The transparent shell contributes to the existence of an interior microclimate, with plants and trees providing oxygen and possibly food. 

Prefabricated building sections would allow construction of an Ark in three to four months, with each new Ark providing 150,000 square feet of living space.

It's an elegant and possibly even feasible solution to housing people in a disaster situation, but I'm sorry to say that after looking at the design, I found myself wondering how it would stand up to deliberate attempts at damage rather than aftershocks. Maybe I'm too cynical, or maybe I've read the wrong books, but it's far too easy to imagine desperate refugees trying to force their way into an already full structure, and the spacious green lawns packed with tents and sleeping bags.

But my real objection to the design is its theoretical nature, which is in no way the architect's fault. It is an elegant solution, one that probably deserves a real trial - well then let's try it.  According to The New York Times, right now people in Haiti are moving back into damaged houses that may collapse on their heads at any moment, because they refuse to live in refugee tent cities any longer.  Let's build some Arks in Haiti - because if we don't start actually doing some of these things, rather than making pretty 3-D digital renderings, we might as well be planning to move displaced and homeless people to Mars.

- Sid

First thoughts on Sunday morning.

Okay, let's posit parallel evolution, and that there's only one way to string DNA together.*  Add in the fact that the species-ending asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs** and empowered small warm-blooded animals was a statistical fluke.  In that case, when we do reach other solar systems, they'll all be run by…big lizards that think we're edible vermin?

Ooo, that's going to be difficult for everyone.

- Sid

* Star Trek does this without even thinking, or else how would half-Vulcan and half-Klingon hybrids be possible?

** By the way, is everyone familiar with my theory as to why Fred Flintstone had to push his car around with his feet?  Ha, obviously The Flintstones must take place before the existence of fossil fuels.

宅男.

I was out for a beer with my friend Chris, the self-described language geek, and he mentioned that he'd looked up the periodic table in Chinese - try to convince me that doesn't belong on the Geek Test!

- Sid

Dragon's End.

(Contributed by Dorothy Hatto)

Anne McCaffrey ended a long and enormously successful life early Monday evening, November 21st, at her home in County Wicklow, Ireland. Surrounded by the reassuring presence of family and close friends, her passing was swift and without suffering. We, her children, are hugely comforted by the outpouring of sympathy flowing now from all over the world. Our mother’s talent was known to countless fans. Yet her greatest gift to us all has to have been her enormous heart. That she was able to touch so many with her tender and loving heart is the greatest source of pride we will forever enjoy. Words cannot express how grateful we are to the universe of her admirers, whose heartfelt condolences beguile us in our grief, which pales beside the joy we know Anne McCaffrey brought to so many people.

The family of Anne McCaffrey

Today, I found out that one of my idols has died:  Anne McCaffrey, author of the Dragonriders of Pern, the Pegasus series, Crystal Singers, Shellperson stories and many other series. 

I discovered my first McCaffrey book, The Ship Who Sang, about 30 years ago, and since then I have escaped to many different worlds of Anne McCaffrey. It really was an escape for me, because I could see myself living in those wonderful worlds.

At the time I discovered Anne McCaffrey, Andre Norton was my favourite author. Anne slowly took over first place as I worked my way through all her various works. I believe I now have just about every book she wrote.  My favorite was the Pern series - I started in the middle with The White Dragon and worked my way out. Once I had all the Pern books and all the short stories, I finally read the series from P.E.R.N., the beginning story, to the last book, The Skies of Pern. 

I cried when Robinton and Zair died after moving the “Red Star.” They had become real people to me.  I have read the stories over and over, and find something new each time I read each story. 

I will miss looking for new books by Anne.  I dread the day that someone makes a Dragonriders of Pern movie, though I might buy the DVD just to pick it apart.  The reality will never come close to the world she created in my head.

- Dorothy 

"Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!"

In the wake of my last post, I was astonished to discover that later today an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier will pass within a mere 323,00 kilometers of Earth.  (For those of you without sense of scale for either one of those numbers, that's something about 400 meters in diameter coming closer to Earth than the Moon.)

Asteroid 2005 YU55 will do its fly-by at 6:28 EST, and during its run it will be 11,000 kilometers within the Moon's orbit. By the standards of cosmic distance, that's like having a bullet get closer to your face than the tip of your nose - and in this case, the bullet is moving at 46,000 kph.

The good news is that according to the good people at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, there is no chance that this object will hit the Earth either during this visit or any time in the next 100 years.  Nonetheless, the idea of a chunk of rock the size of a city block getting that close makes me more than a little nervous.

However, the adjacency of YU55 to Earth logically suggests that it might just as easily have hit the Moon. (After all, the Moon is a sort of orbital poster child for impact craters - just look at it.) Hmmm...I wonder what the effects of a really big asteroid hit on the Moon would be?  Presumably a large enough hit might shatter it, making us the recipient of a lot of collateral damage from fragments.  A slow breakup might give us an orbital ring à la Saturn.  But I think it's unlikely we'd get something that looked anything at all like the half-completed Death Star from Return of the Jedi, as much as I hate to disappoint you Star Wars fans.

- Sid

No one ever mentions Robert Duvall.

One of my clients told me that apparently it has been calculated that a massive asteroid will hit our planet in 25 years.  Heard about that?

Text from Laurie Smith, Personal Trainer

Asteroid With Chance of Hitting Earth in 2029 Now Being Watched 'Very Carefully'.

Apophis: The Asteroid That Could Smash Into the Earth on April 13th, 2036.

Asteroid Could Hit Earth In 172 Years.

New Potentially Hazardous Asteroid Discovered!

Chance, could, potentially - based on those headlines, it sounds to me like it's too early to start packing for the end of the world, or at least the end of the world that involves asteroid collisions.  But the prevalence of the meme suggests that the topic is worth more of a look.

Okay, what if - which is the name of the game, after all - what if the scientific community was able to determine without any doubt at all that an asteroid was going to hit the Earth in 25 years?  Let's assume that this is the real deal:  maybe not a planet cracker, but definitely an Extinction Level Event.

Okay, what should we do?  Hmmm…..right now, nothing.

What?  Sorry, but I'm unwilling to believe that the scientific community could predict 25 years in advance exactly where the point of impact would be.  As such, building any sort of last stand redoubt to shelter a remnant of humanity would be premature - it would be more than a little embarrassing to find out that said refuge had been constructed at ground zero. 

And yes, a remnant of humanity.  I gather that we've recently hit the seven billion population point*, I can't imagine that we can come up with a solution that allows all of us to survive a real species ender.  (Just for the record, I realize full well that I won't be on the short list - the new world will not need 75-year-old graphic artist/geeks, which is where I'd stand in 25 years.)

Well, maybe "nothing" is a bit extreme.  What I'd suggest is very quietly doing research to determine the best solution for survivability, and perhaps judiciously starting to stockpile resources.

Hmmm...would I put Mars on that list of solutions?

I'd like to colonize Mars regardless, but as a solution for an extinction level event, 25 years doesn't sound like enough time to create a self-sufficient haven on Mars.  The advantage of trying to survive here is that we can already survive here.  An asteroid impact, followed by all the various collateral damage effects like tsunamis, earthquakes, and nuclear winter, or its asteroid equivalent, will permanently change the face of the planet.  However, I don't think it will be bad enough to make the air completely unbreatheable and get rid of all the water, which is what we'd be facing on Mars.

But if it is a planet cracker, something big enough to actually destroy Earth, Mars it is. In this scenario, our survival as a species is in serious doubt, but it does raise an interesting question:  how would our approach to space travel change if we only had to worry about one-way trips?

However, statistics suggest that being hit by something that large is extremely unlikely compared to a piece of cosmic debris that would just kill everyone who isn't in some form of extreme shelter. For that scenario, I actually don't mind the 2012 option - the movie, that is, not the Mayan-calendar end of the world thing.  Building floating refuges, which will immediately be called arks by everyone involved, is not a bad idea.  I don't know if we can building something on solid ground that would withstand all the primary and secondary effects, but I could see a properly designed ark making it through.

Arks have a second advantage:  mobility. (Something that 2012 didn't add to the equation until after the disaster had taken place.) When the impact point has been accurately calculated, floating refuges can be shifted to a point as far away as possible.

The other option, as we all know, is to send Bruce Willis to blow up the offending chunk of rock.  Actually, we probably don't need to blow it up, we just need to change its vector a bit, although blowing it up would seem to be a longer term solution.  I wonder how practical that solution actually is?  The asteroid that may (or may not, opinions vary) have caused the extinction of the dinosaurs was probably about 10 kilometers long - how many megatons would it take to break down that much rock to the point where the pieces would burn up in the atmosphere?

And then all we'd have to worry about is trillions and trillions of cubic feet of dust...

- Sid

* I gather that there's some debate about whether or not we've crossed the seven billion line or not, but I suspect that another 25 years will take care of it.

And more about tricks than treats.

I'm confident that I paid my debt to society by shaving my beard off and plastering my face with glue and makeup for last year's workplace Hallowe'en celebration, so I decided to go a bit easier on myself this year.  My 2011 costume was nothing more than an oversized version of my workplace ID card with an appropriate hole where the picture goes - said hole to be occupied by my actual face.

However, after last year's prize-winning zombie look, people at work have been curious as to what I was planning for a follow-up. Agatha, a member of our labour relations group, asked what I was going as this year, and I replied, "Myself."  Before I could explain further, she replied, "That's not very scary!" *

Frankly, I was surprised to get that response, but I was also somewhat pleased as well. It's good to find someone who still remembers that Hallowe'en is supposed to be about fear.

Yes, fear.  October 31st used to be a celebration of fear, where we went out, long after our usual bedtimes, into a night that youthful imagination peopled with a myriad of monsters.  But it was also an education in some ways, because it taught children that the monsters were just that, imaginary creations, with the comforting presence of a parental hand to hold onto as proof that it really was safe.

In recent years, Hallowe'en has transitioned into much more of an adult holiday (in both senses of the word).  Gone are the days of Hallowe'en being nothing but parents tolerantly marching their children door-to-door in search of goodies - today's Hallowe'en is more of a bacchanalian event, an event that provides license for costumes that are more about sex than candy.  What a terrible loss!  As strange as it sounds, I sincerely hope that lots of small children go out tonight and have the most frightening time of their lives.

Oh, and P.S. - Agatha won the prize at work this year for Scariest Costume.

- Sid

* Thank you, Agatha, that's the nicest thing that an attractive woman has said to me for quite some time. 

The introductory comic is by Randy Milholland.  http://www.somethingpositive.net/index.html

Gnomic statements II.

Don't forget, the only water in the forest is the river.

- Sid

Some are born geek, some achieve geekness, and some have geekness thrust upon them.

Observant readers will have already noticed that I've added a Geek tag to the page, announcing to the world that I'm a Major Geek.  Sadly, this isn't as positive an announcement as you might think - as the screen grab from the quiz demonstrates, being a Major Geek only required a mark of 37 percent. (37.26937, to be exact.)

The Geek Quiz was created by Yvette Beaudoin, and a full description of the origin of the test can be found on her site at innergeek.us, along with an analysis of the word "geek" itself.

Okay, enough small talk, let's cut to the chase.  ONLY 37 PER CENT?  I was mortified - how could the test so completely have underestimated my Geek Quotient, or at least the GQ that I see myself as possessing?  The answer is simple:  as per the final question (see above), I can think of other things that should have gotten me points on the test.

I mean, come on, I've got TWO sets of original series Enterprise blueprints! (And one set of Next Generation.)  Come to think of it, I've also got two sets of the original Star Fleet Technical Manual, for that matter. (Yes, and one copy of the Next Generation Technical Manual - there's obviously some kind of trend here.) I own the first Tom Swift book!  I know that Analog used to be Astounding!  I kept issue one of WIRED!  I'm on my third replacement copy of Dune! I celebrate Towel Day!  I saw William Gibson on the street when I first moved to Vancouver, and first, I knew who it was, and second, I was really excited!  I have a toy robot collection!  Hell, I own a Space Marine, a Dalek, a Scopedog, a Master Chief, a Destroid Defender (AND a Destroid Monster), a Super Gobot, a Gundam, and a blue stripe Major Matt Mason! I'm outraged that they want to make a live action version of Akira!  I could go on forever - there are so many things that the test didn't ask!

I'm even a Second Gen geek - my mother was a geek, which I think is a far more impressive achievement than any of us being geeks!  (Honestly, any geek whose date of birth falls before World War II deserves special recognition.)  My sister is a geek, and her daughter is a geek. 

That final comment is actually the key to this whole problem.  My niece is certainly a geek, but she's a very different geek than her mother or my mother.  Over time, the geek gene has mutated - which is actually a very geek comment to make.  The growth of geek chic has resulted in a plethora of geek subgroupings:  gamer geeks, hacker geeks, action figure geeks, Star Wars geeks, cosplay geeks, and so on, with new geek phylae being added every day.

Regardless, I think that there's a shared kinship among geeks, a recognition that we've all decided to dedicate a portion of our lives to something a bit more intellectual than, say, hockey, Dancing with the Stars, or monster trucks, and it's that kinship that provides the real basis for the Geek Test.  In fact, the desire to write the test is probably the most significant factor of all. We know that we're geeks, we just want to know what our score is.

But the final joke for me was that version 3.14 (insert pi joke here)  of the Geek Test missed the most important  - and obvious - question of all:   

Do you run a geek oriented blog?

- Sid

 

January 18 2024 update:  for absolutely no reason I can think of, this post has received over 400 hits today.  On the outside chance that it's actual people rather than Russian bots (or in case the bots are interested) I am pleased to announce that, having revisited the innergeek.com Geek Test in December 2023, I went from being a Major Geek (greater than or equal to 35%) to being a Super Geek (greater than or equal to 45%).  It just goes to show that it's always possible to improve your place in life.

Uncomfortable parallels.

This piece is a clear nod to a favourite childhood movie. I felt it was a great metaphor for the subject matter at hand: Is treaty really black and white or shades of grey? Do the “good guys” always wear white? Will there be a treaty empire and am I part of the rebel alliance? Ha Ha! I did insert a glimmer of hope in the chin of the mask--a small cedar tree seedling that represents a rekindling of awareness and growth. “A new hope,” so to speak....

Andy Everson, artist

My workplace is located near Vancouver's Gastown community, and my regular lunchtime walks with my co-worker Bill offer many opportunities to see what's on display for window-shoppers from cruise ships. Generally I don't pay a lot of attention to the merchandise, but a recent addition caught my attention immediately.

My first thought was that I had found nothing more than another strategy for relieving tourists of their money. To my surprise and pleasure, a little online research revealed that this particular print, created by K'omoks artist Andy Everson, is a deliberate, multi-level comment on the treaty system that still underlies Canada's relationship with the First Nations.

To be honest, along with that surprise and pleasure came a little discomfort - not easy to find out that you're part of the evil Empire.

- Sid

"Don't even blink."

The Doctor: They have taken the blue box, haven't they? The angels have the phonebox.

Laurence Nightingale: "The angels have the phonebox", that's my favourite, I've got that on a T-shirt.

 Doctor Who:  Blink

Well, it's probably a good thing that I spent nine months planning a trip to Europe to ensure a  memorable fiftieth birthday, because frankly - and sadly - I've been underwhelmed by the contributions made by others in terms of marking the milestone. The people in question probably know who they are, and I'm just trying to decide if they're going to be removed from the guest list, so to speak.

However, I do feel that I should acknowledge the contribution of my friend and Friday night drinking companion Chris, who quite carefully chose one of the great gnomic statements from Doctor Who, and who also chose a brilliant t-shirt quoting it out of the vast lexicon available online.

And then bought me a couple of pints and a good meal at a pub when he gave it to me.

The multiple award-winning Season Three Doctor Who episode Blink is widely considered to be one of the best episodes of the series - which is a bit odd, considering that the Doctor only appears a few times.  That aside, it contains some of the best time-travel related moments of the series, including a fabulous conversation between the Doctor and Sally Sparrow, played by Carey Mulligan.

This conversation is a bit odd, given that one of the participants is being videotaped in 1969 reading a teleprompter version of the conversation he's having via DVD with someone in 2007. (This is the infamous wibbly-wobbly timey-whimey conversation.)

Looking back, I have to be fair regarding the blanket condemnation in the first paragraph. One or two people haven't logged in yet due to geography and scheduling, but it will require some serious work to outdo Chris' contribution.  Thanks, Chris - as I said on Friday, it means a lot to me.

- Sid

"Do you remember what you asked for?"

And to be honest, I didn't remember until I opened the wrapping, and as such was a bit nervous.  If memory serves, I said that I'd rather receive a toy robot as a gift than an expensive pen - which is quite correct and still holds true.

Much thanks to the staff at the BCMEA, and specifically to Suki, our company's Employee Engagement Manager, for my 50th birthday gift, which I gather involved a substantial amount of effort to obtain.  And thank god I live alone, that noise is a LOT louder in person.

- Sid

P.S. And a final thank-you to David for his evocative comment:  "Hey look, laser tits!"

Thud and blunder.

Due to my recent European adventure, I didn’t go to see the recent movie reboot of Conan the Barbarian, but then, apparently neither did anyone else.  In fact, it seems to have come and gone in surprisingly short order for an epic big-budget heroic fantasy summer release.

So what went wrong?

Personally, I think that there’s some kind of fundamental barrier which can prevent an author’s work from being successfully adapted. The continued interest in Robert E. Howard’s barbarian hero would seem to indicate that there's some merit to the character, but as with Frank Herbert’s Dune and apparently everything by William Gibson, it may not be all that easy to transfer that obvious merit to another medium.

The barrier in all three of these examples is the same: style. Howard’s prose may be a bit extreme, but it paints a detailed tapestry, loaded with visual and sensory clues, placing Conan - and the reader - in a world which is rich, tactile, and real. 

Howard described the genesis of his Cimmerian warrior in similar terms:

It may sound fantastic to link the term "realism" with Conan; but as a matter of fact - his supernatural adventures aside - he is the most realistic character I ever evolved.  He is simply a combination of a number of men I have known, and I think that's why he seemed to step full-grown into my consciousness when I wrote the first yarn of the series.  Some mechanism in my sub-conscious took the dominant characteristics of various prize-fighters, gunmen, bootleggers, oil field bullies, gamblers and honest workmen I have come in contact with, and combining them all, produced the amalgamation I call Conan the Cimmerian.

For a true look at the character of Conan and the manner in which Howard describes him and his world, I strongly recommend reading a couple of the original stories featuring the character. Please note the word “original” – as I’ve already discussed, Conan has travelled quite a long way from home over the years since Robert E. Howard’s creation of the character.

Fortunately, much of Howard's work is now available as free downloads on Project Gutenberg.  Recommended reading would be the short stories Red Nails, Across the Black River, or A Witch Shall Be Born. If you're looking for a longer experience, try The Hour of the Dragon, a book-length work originally published as a five-part serial in the pulp magazine Weird Tales.

The bottom line is that any attempt at adaptation ends up being a second-hand description, someone trying to find a way to evoke through imitation the same degree of creative depth that they see in the original work. I suppose it's like a band doing cover songs: regardless of the quality of the performance, it's always going to be based upon - and compared to - someone else's unique genius.  Let's face it - imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but that doesn't make it the best form.

- Sid

Still a standard for tuba players?

When I received this battered postcard from ex-Printing House employee Paul Levesque, who has undertaken a bike trip across North America, I laughed out loud – the subsequent details on the back about playing G, A, F, (octave lower) F,  and C were unnecessary but a nice bit of icing on the cake.

However, the identification may not be as immediate for others. Does everyone remember that the Devil’s Tower, immortalized in mashed potatoes by Richard Dreyfuss, is where the climactic action of Close Encounters of the Third Kind took place?

The funny thing is that I’ve never seen the movie. As per my previous comments, I’m completely sceptical about every sort of cryptid phenomenon, and frankly CE3K had too much of that about it. Sadly, when you come right down to it, it's a geek version of the Rapture, with aliens substituting for angels. And, honestly - mashed potatoes?

- Sid

He drew a deep breath. "Well, I'm back," he said.

 “Then let’s look on the bright side: we’re having an adventure, Fezzik, and most people live and die without being as lucky as we are.”

Inigo Montoya: WIlliam Goldman, The Princess Bride

And so, as with all good things, the 2011 European Tour comes to an end.  Damn, I should have sold t-shirts...

How was it? As with any experience in life, there were pros and cons.  Three weeks is a long haul away from home, I had a period of intense discomfort due to extreme blisters caused by extensive walking in wet shoes, I was nervous about language issues for my entire stay in Paris, and it’s taken me over a week to get back in sync with west coast time.

However, as far as I'm concerned, those are minor inconveniences.  For me, the perfect vacation is more about having a memorable, interesting adventure than being comfortable.  Those three weeks of travel took me to nine cities in four countries, and let me see landscapes and locations that I'd only ever read about or seen on TV.  Getting lost in the rain in London allowed me to find a fantastic graveyard that I returned to photograph after the Doctor Who Experience.  And I wouldn't have missed the view from the Eiffel Tower even if you'd told me there was going to be a pop quiz on verbs afterward.  (Although I might have done some more studying in advance if that had been the case.)

And it's wasn't all just the standards of the Eiffel Tower, St. Paul's and the Colosseum, I was able to indulge my own unique interests as well, what with graveyards, Doctor Who, medieval armour, castles and towers, men walking through walls, alien architecture, and all the other little grace notes that surrounded my visits to the legends of European sightseeing.

When you think about it, it's not at all surprising that I'd enjoy a trip like this.  Science fiction and fantasy fans are impelled by many of the same factors that motivate people to visit foreign countries when on vacation. There’s a shared desire to see exotic, unfamiliar locations, to experience new things*, to seek out new worlds and new civilizations, TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE….

Oops, sorry about that, got a bit carried away. But, there we go, I’ve just cracked the code on Star Trek – they’re really just tourists.

- Sid

* Sorry, Laurie, this is less applicable for those of you that just want to get on the spaceship, visit the zero-g spa, and spend some time in suspended animation, without any need to take the shuttlecraft down to Mars to see the canals.

It's the little things.

Final night in England, Gatwick Airport Hotel, room service, BBC One, Doctor Who - booyah, baby!

- Sid