"So where was I? Oh, that's right - Barcelona!"

Rose Tyler...I was gonna take you to so many places...Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'll love it, fantastic place, they've got dogs with no noses! Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny!

Doctor Who, The Parting of the Ways

One guess what port we're visiting today...*

- Sid

* Bit of an inside joke - cheers, Chris! 

Practicality Over Concept.

Every fantasy fan should visit England - specifically, the Tower of London.  Forget the overly ornate accoutrements of World of Warcraft, forget the impossible weaponry of Final Fantasy - completely forget chain mail bikinis - this is the real deal, from the various points in history when men buckled on steel plate and went out to kill each other with axe and sword.

As such, there's a harsh practicality to most of the armour that's on display.  When it has been ornamented, as in the images above, the various etchings and inlays decorate without reducing that practicality, without detracting from the armour's basic task of efficient protection.  Which makes perfect sense to me - after all, when this sort of harness was being worn, GAME OVER was a much more terminal statement than it is today.

- Sid

London Melancholy.

"London-of-the-sorrows," said Malice Priest

"London Misery," said Two Jane.

"London Melancholy," insisted Thin Molder.

M. John Harrison, London Melancholy:  The Machine In Shaft Ten

Day Five of the 2011 European Tour, and in spite of the title for this posting I'm in a pretty good mood.  However, it's been raining for the last couple of days, and I have to admit that rainy days when you're on vacation do make it a bit more difficult to be really happy about things.

But it seems oddly fitting to walk the streets of London in the rain; rain is part of the London mythos, a mythos based on over 2000 years of history as a city.  In spite of that extended pre-Roman origin, London is most notably the seat of Empire, and one sees a constant struggle between that Victorian legacy of bolted iron and crumbling red brick versus the modern marvels of geometric architecture, sheathed in mirrored glass.

It may be that state of conflict between the old and the new that has made London such a frequent setting for urban fantasies.  Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere is very definitely the exemplar for this, a dark novel that presents readers with a London of grim enchantments and legendary monsters, where Earl's Court Station has an earl, Blackfriars Station has black monks, and Angel Station has...yes, an Angel. 

China Mieville seems to have a particular interest in London as a setting.  His young adult novel Un Lun Dun shows us a mirror London, an Un-London, as the title would suggest, filled with the things that the other London no longer uses.  And, of course, as would make perfect sense for an un-city, it isn't saved from destruction by the Chosen One, but rather the Un-Chosen.

Kraken, his somewhat tongue-in-cheek end-of-the-world piece, fills London with cultists and worshippers of obscure gods and demons, all of whom are predicting an apocalypse - just not the same one. And his short story The Tain turns London into a war zone in the conflict between humans and their mirrored avatars.

The interesting thing about these various fantasy Londons is that they exist as separate entities, where travel between everyday London and its alternates is a struggle, fraught with dangers and difficulties.  In actuality, London represents exactly the same sort of unreal combination of worlds - where but in London would you see a combination of architecture like this?

- Sid

Day 4: During Which Our Hero Does Not Turn Into a Chicken.

 And you, the bald fellow who's half a chicken, it's starting to look good on you.

The Doctor, The Doctor Who Experience

Day Four of the 2011 European Tour, a day which provided me with an odd combination of experiences - and Experiences, come to think of it.

I started the day with the Doctor Who Experience, for which I have mixed reviews, to be honest. First, I have to say that Google has a LOT to answer for - the address provided for the Olympia Two exhibition centre has perilously little to do with the actual location, an issue which very nearly led me to be late for my ten o'clock reservation as I walked in circles through the pouring English rain asking carpark attendants, shop clerks and postmen for directions.

However, I did finally make my triumphant (and dripping wet) entrance at the front door at exactly ten, and made my way to the exhibition.  As I had somewhat suspected, the Experience itself didn't start at EXACTLY ten, since that was also when the venue opened (sad to say, experience teaches us that most Experiences don't start on time.)

 

The Doctor Who Experience is made up of two parts - well, three if you're being generous.  There's a bit of a prop display in the waiting area at the start, a couple of costumes and a Union Jack decorated Dalek, but honestly, it's just to give you something to do while you wait.

 

The Experience itself?  The Experience is a sort of interactive episode of the series, set in a variety of sets from the show.  I have to admit I was a bit concerned when we all shuffled into a dark room and a series of clips from old episodes ran on an oversized wall screen.  However, I was impressed when, at the end, rather than exiting through one of the doors in the room the screen itself unexpectedly split in half and we were ushered in a museum setting from Starship UK, as featured in the episode The Beast Below.

As the various exhibits in the museum were being described to us by a very well done interactive guide who was essentially a human face on a stick, the Doctor makes an appearance by hijacking one of the numerous video screens in the hall and demanding our help in escaping from the second Pandorica, a perfect trap designed specifically for the Doctor.

As the walk-through continues, there's quite a bit of the Doctor on various screens, all custom footage shot solely for the Experience, which I was relieved to see after the initial show clips.  Matt Smith delivers his lines with flair and energy - in fact, with so much energy that they apparently had some difficulty keeping him from breaking out of his bonds prematurely during the shooting.

The Experience then took us into the TARDIS, which of course is constructed so as to appear bigger on the inside, and we're offered the unique opportunity of piloting it, an experience which the Doctor requested be given to any children in the group, since apparently adults are rubbish at this sort of thing.*

As you progress through the various sets, you're threatened by Daleks, Weeping Angels, and finally end up watching almost every villain from the new series being swept away by a time vortex in one of the most incredibly effective 3-D films I've ever seen.  In fact, I was surprised that the children in the audience weren't screaming in fright, obviously British kids are made of stern stuff.

 

Finally, you're ushered out into a large display of props and costumes from the show, followed by the inevitable gift shop.

 

 

Overall, I enjoyed the Doctor Who Experience, but I have to say that I was hoping that it would be "incredible" rather than "enjoyable".  What would have made the difference?  I would have added a few actors in costume and disposed of the very mundane fellow in a t-shirt who kept telling us which way to go - surely that role could have been filled by someone in a spacesuit.  I also think that the TARDIS control room was supposed to be a motion platform, but it didn't seem to be doing anything in spite of the Doctor's repeated warnings that we should hang on.

 

All criticisms aside, at least I can say that I've been there, done that - and got the t-shirt (okay, and a mug, if you must know).

My earlier wanderings had taken me past the Brompton Cemetery, an evocative necropolis to stumble across on a rainy day in London, and after the Doctor Who Experience I couldn't resist going back to take some pictures of this unkempt momento mori - after all, I couldn't get any wetter.

Solitary fellow visitors added odd gracenotes to my visit -  it was a bit disconcerting to see a black clad figure stalking through the cenotaphs, their face concealed by an umbrella.  A hooded figure sat in quiet contemplation near the central rotunda, and a passing fairy posed in a bizarre display of sweatsuit eroticism, all of which added up to a sort of near-surreal urban fantasy experience.

Tomorrow, St. Paul's, and the Tower of London!

- Sid

* There was also some talk of bald people being turned into giant chickens, a recurring thread in the narrative.  To my relief I dodged that particular bullet - my passport picture looks nothing like a chicken, and I might have had some trouble explaining the addition of feathers and a beak when trying to get back into Canada.

Paradise Skies.

Happiness is beginning to rise

From the streets into paradise skies.

Max Webster, Paradise Skies:  A Million Vacations

Counting down: I'm on deck to leave for the airport in an hour.  I'm packed and documented, I have pounds and euros, maps and guides, reservations and tickets.  Inevitably I forget something when I pack, but it's never anything serious - "Oh damn, I forgot shirts!" - but as far as I can tell I'm pretty well prepared.  However, I would like to publicly thank my co-worker Joe for including a 2010 Island Boys calendar in the suitcase that I borrowed, and once again, thanks for thinking of me, Joe, but I left it in the spare bedroom to be returned with the luggage.

I'll be doing blog updates as opportunity, inspiration and internet access allow.  For those of you tracking trip progress here, I'll warn you now that I won't be doing a lot of  "The scenery is here, wish you were beautiful" updates - anything here will have at least some sort of thematic connection to science fiction or fantasy.  (I'll admit that I've got a couple of placeholders based on existing plans, and not necessarily relating to Doctor Who, either.)  However, I will be contacting people personally as well, not to worry.

So, bon voyage, and thanks to everyone for their interest and support in planning this trip!

- Sid

Everywhere and forever?

I'm in full countdown mode for my vacation, with only four and a half days to go before I fly to England.  One of the things on my to-do list was my online check-in for the Mediterranean cruise, which I needed to finish this week so that I could print the results.

Part of the check-in process required my agreement to a lengthy contract detailing the various responsibilities, regulations and liabilities for both the shipping line and the passengers.  This contract contains the following clause - please note the section in bold:

13. USE OF PHOTOS, VIDEOS OR RECORDINGS:
Guest hereby grants to Carrier (and its assignees and licensees) the exclusive right throughout the universe and in perpetuity to include photographic, video, audio and other visual or audio portrayals of Passenger taken during or in connection with the Cruise or CruiseTour (including any images, likenesses or voices) in any medium of any nature whatsoever (including the right to edit, combine with other materials or create any type of derivative thereof) for the purpose of trade, advertising, sales, publicity, promotional, training or otherwise, without compensation to the Guest. 

"Throughout the universe and in perpetuity"?  Wow, obviously Royal Caribbean is in for the long haul with this cruise business thing.  I'm left with this odd mental image of eight-armed aliens on Tau Ceti Five a thousand years from now, thoughtfully flipping through a cruise brochure that's ornamented with a picture of my smiling face as I enjoy the various amenities available on the ship. "Hmmm...you know, this bald bearded biped appears to be enjoying himself - pack your bags, honey, we're going to Earth!"

- Sid

"You never know". Or do you?

I’ll get trip insurance in case Europe collapses before we embark on our cruise. You never know.

- Laurie Smith, February 2011

Now, admittedly, the rioting in England has died down (although there are still incidents of looting on a much smaller, almost personalized scale - boutique looting, if you will); regardless, some kind of recognition is due to Laurie for her prescient comments from February about travel insurance, now that I'm flying to England to start my vacation in less than a week. Hmmm…psychic ability? Time travel? Either way, Laurie, if there's anything else you'd like to mention - alien invasions, giant sea monsters in the Mediterranean, the return of the Mummy, anything - now is the time (no pun intended).

- Sid

P.S. Come to think of it, I might deserve a minor shout-out for my observations about planning riots through social media.  Apparently Facebook, Twitter and BlackBerry Messenger were key elements in the planning and execution of the violence in London.